So it is done

Almighty wizard

Sometimes it can be difficult for a person to agree with another person's opinion – sometimes it can be difficult to disagree with another – sometimes it can be difficult to even agree with oneself.

And yet, it can be especially difficult to disagree with oneself.

No, I will not.

Jonathan's words, spoken inside his mind, were as if they had fallen off a high cliff, crashing down into the sea – and in its descent, immediately, dozens, hundreds of waves were crashing in all directions.

What did you say?!

The first wave, the biggest and strongest – were full of anger and indignation, disturbing the calm of the water surface – its disagreement rose in an indignant voice.

What I am saying is...

Jonathan smiled.

That I do like to analyze things.

Then tell me.

The subsequent waves are weaker, they are fast as they come one after the other, but they lack the fury or the fervor of the first.

You can't use two mutually contradictory arguments at the same time, at least without sounding like the worst of hypocrites.

Jonathan felt his inner voice, one that used to be perpetually chittering somewhere inside the back of his head, hiding between the twists and turns of his mind, frown.

You could accuse me of being overly passive and unambitious, stale in my paradigm perhaps, preferring taking my world position and not moving this world to change it. You could accuse me of putting myself above the judgement of powerful, experienced beings – be they opponents, allies, or bystanders by acting against their better judgement.

Jonathan felt a smile, a little snide, and a little cheerful, break across his face.

But not both at once.

And when the waves pass, when even the small ripples stop swaying the water surface – at last one thing remains.

Tranquility.

Complete, absolute tranquility.

Silence, silent stillness and awareness of reality – as if the fallen stone and its waves were only a dream that disappeared with the coming of dawn.

So what am I?

And, for the first time in his life, Jonathan Goodman asked the question that, until then, had only caused him to make excuses.

Am I an insignificant gnat stuck in a spider's web, unwilling to break its chains?

It seemed as if something incredible had happened, it was as if the rock that had fallen into the sea, generating waves, had suddenly risen to the surface. As if it had been made of lightweight foam, telling that the previous waves were nothing more than a trick of vision.

Or am I a self-important, arrogant fool, acting without regard for consequences and exhortations?

And it seemed as if there were no waves at all. There was only calm water in which no waves could be generated. It was as if none of the disturbance had ever happened.

So who am I?

Tranquility. Silence. Immovability.

It seemed as if there was a sense of emptiness in Jonathan's mind – but it was a pleasant emptiness. As if having gone through dozens of hours of complicated mathematics, trying desperately to solve the puzzle, he had suddenly picked the right combination, solving the puzzle in one fell swoop. Now, before him, the lock had been powerlessly pulled apart, exposing the treasure hidden behind its unsightly lid.