Melting The Ice (Iceland x Depressed! Reader)

Falling In Love Hurts

elting The Ice (Iceland x Depressed!Reader) 8

The sun was shining brightly through the window when you woke up. You were on the couch laying on top of Emil. He still had his arms wrapped around you and he was sleeping. You blushed at the position and then your eyes widened. The sun was shining? Since you had been living with Emil, it had been snowing pretty heavily. Sometimes the snow would stop, but the sun was never able to break through the thick, grey clouds. You smiled. You sat up, gently trying to maneuver your body off of the Icelander's, but it was all in vain, considering that he began to stir right after you got up. His sleepy blue eyes made out your form and he yawned.

"Morning, fallegur (beautiful)..." He said after he finished stretching.

"Hey, you know that I don't speak Icelandic! What are you saying?" You asked, exasperated. He kept saying things in his native tongue and you didn't understand any of it. He just did it to tease you.

"I don't want to tell you." He said and you could have sworn you saw him grinning. You whined and the so called 'grin' seemed to grow wider.

"Please??? Emil... Tellll meeee!!!" You pleaded, climbing on top of him. He ignored your plea and gently pushed you off of him.

"No." He said and got up. He may not have been actually smirking but you could practically hear it in his voice. You got annoyed and chased him around the house. He was laughing.

"EMIL! Tell me!!!" You yelled after him. Soon enough, you got tired of running and decided to get something to drink and chill on the couch. Where Emil proceeded to sit next to you.

"No. Go away. I'm mad at you." You said, opening the carbonated beverage.

"What? Don't be mad at me." He said and wrapped his arms around you. 'Dang it...' You thought and blushed.

"Q-Quit it! G-Get away!" You said. You tried (and failed) to pull his arms off of you. You sighed and grabbed the remote to the television, turning it on. You flipped through channels and your (e/c) eyes lit up as a particular movie came on.

"Emil! Go turn off the lights, please! I'll love you for forever if you do~!" You requested innocently. His cheeks turned red at your choice of words and you smirked as he got up and turned the lights off. His cheeks were still mildly pink when he came back to sit next to you. Why was he so embarrassed?

"Yay! Thank you!" You said and hugged him. He turned even more red and you laughed. The feeling from before returned, though. You felt so... Warm. Like you were melting. The feeling made you shiver.

"You okay?" Emil asked, sensing the small movement.

"Ah.... Yeah." You reassured him. Just looking at him made your heart skip a beat. Suddenly, your mind and heart put two and two together and you realized what you were feeling. You liked Emil. As the realization began to sink in, there were so many emotions pulsing through your body. You immediately wanted to deny it, after all it had only been a week since you had been living with him. But everything about him called out to you. You liked everything about him, although sometimes he did annoy you. As you began thinking about how you felt, you began to drift off in Emil's arms once again.

*Timeskip (One Year)*

You had been living comfortably with Emil for one year. The therapy wasn't exactly working, but you really didn't care. You had come to love living in Iceland and learned to navigate the area very well. You even made a couple of friends. You still hadn't learned Icelandic, so every chance Emil got, he'd say something you didn't know. Which led to you chasing him around until you got tired. He called you things like 'minn allt' ('my everything'), 'fallegur' ('beautiful') or 'elska' ('love') and no one would tell you what they meant, although you got suspicious seeing how they reacted. Some would giggle, some smirked, and some, like Emil's  brother, were surprised.

That's right, during that year, you had also met Emil's brother, Lukas, and you thought he was pretty great. You had started to talk to him on a regular basis. He always helped with your Emil problems. You had ended up asking him if it was normal, the way Emil acted around you. He said no, but you still didn't quite know what to make of his behavior, and you weren't sure you wanted that answer just yet. He even gave you advice on your biggest problem. The fact that over the course of spending one year with Emil, your slight crush on the Icelander had turned into  painful love. Every time you saw him your heart ached, your cheeks turned red, and you stuttered and were tense until your body decided to relax. Although Lukas didn't show much emotion he gave you really good advice. For example, he let you know when you needed to apologize or if you should wait for Emil to. He also told you to let Emil know how you felt about him, but you knew you wouldn't be able to do it, although you really did want to tell him. You were afraid of being rejected, so you kept your mouth sealed shut. Not only that, but you weren't exactly experienced when it came to relationships. All of this was what hurt you the most. Not being able to read his feelings caught your inexperienced self off-guard, and you were nervous even thinking about him.

Emil had been acting pretty strange around the end of that year, and you had no idea why. He had been unusually distant and he wasn't teasing you like he normally did. You wondered if Lukas got fed up with you not making a move and told Emil himself. But there was no way he would have done that... Right? You decided to call him and find out. You pulled out your cell phone, one that Emil had bought you a week or two into your therapy, and dialed Lukas's number.

"Hey Lukas?" You asked when the receiver picked up.

"Yes, (y/n)?" Lukas asked monotonously.

"Did you tell Emil that I... Uhm... You know... Love him?" You asked, blushing. He sighed.

"No. I thought I told you to do that." He said in the same emotionless tone, but you could hear a slight hint of sarcasm. Usually you would have sneered or joked with him, but you were more worried at the moment. Why were things changing all of the sudden... Maybe it was something you did?

"Well... But... Why is he upset with me then?" You asked. There was a slight pause.

"...He's probably not upset with you. Just ask him." He replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ugh! Why are you Nordic people so blunt?!" You frustratedly asked. Confrontation was NOT your strong suit. Another pause.

"...We're blunt?" Lukas asked. You face-palmed and shook your head.

"Nevermind. Bye, Lukas." You said. 

"Bye, (y/n)." He said and hung up.

You blushed, thinking about asking Emil about this issue. You had gotten used to him over the year, but of course, he still made you very anxious. And it didn't help that he was always embarrassing and teasing you. Even on accident he mortified you. There had been some very awkward instances. For instance, you had both walked in on each other changing at least once. You were also a depressed klutz, so he was constantly holding you.You shook your head and blushed again. It was definitely going to be hard to talk to him. You pushed the thoughts out of your mind as you made your way to Emil's room. He most probably didn't feel the same way as you did, anyway. You sighed sadly and knocked lightly on his bedroom door.

"Emil?" You inquired softly. There was a moment of silence and then you heard the creak of a bed. You heard footsteps approaching the door and it opened. He glanced at you with unusually sad blue eyes and then quickly looked away. That was definitely not like him.

"Yeah?" He asked after a moment.

"C-Can I talk to you for a second? Please?" You asked. 'He MUST be mad at me...' You thought. He sighed.

"...Yeah." He replied. He stepped to the side and let you in to his room. Even after living with him for an entire year, you hadn't been in his room even once. The walls were dark blue and the covers of his bed were designed with the Icelandic flag on them. He gestured for you to sit on his bed and you did so. He stood in front of you and there was a moment of tense silence.

"...Did I do something wrong?" You asked quietly, looking down at your tightly-fisted hands. You decided to skip the casualties. You certainly weren't in the mood to ease into the conversation. You felt terrible.

"What?" He looked at you, his blue eyes wide with surprise at the question. You felt like crying. Why did he have to ask? Did he think you didn't notice his distance? You were never without him. He had become so close and dear to you, and then it all just stopped. Like you had dreamt the happy times and were actually only experiencing the cold, sad ones.

"Did I do something wrong, Emil? Is that why you're being so distant? Whatever it is that I did, I... I-I'm really sorry... I'm sure I didn't mean t-" You began, looking everywhere except for at him. You couldn't bear to look into those eyes, even though you loved them so much. He cut you off.

"....(Y/n)... I'm not mad at you. I promise." Emil said and sat next to you. Your eyes widened and you looked up at him, surprised. He sighed deeply and ran one hand through his white-blonde hair.

"Well... But... Then why are you avoiding me?" You asked, not understanding what he meant. Emil sighed again.

"...I knew I'd have to tell you eventually. And I didn't want to, so I just stayed away from you so I could prolong not having to tell you. But it seems as if I've made everything worse. I'm sorry. But really, I'm not angry with you. I could never be angry with you, falleg allt mitt (my beautiful everything)." He said. He said the last words with something you hadn't heard in his voice before. His tone surprised you, but you were quick to disregard it, letting his words settle into your mind. You sighed in relief and tried to ignore the last part of his explanation. For some reason, those words had seemed to set your cheeks on fire, even though you had no clue what they meant. His first words began to sink in and you tilted your head in confusion.

"Wait, tell me what?" You asked.

"......Your therapy..... It ends next week." He said slowly, refusing to look at you.

"Yeah, okay, but what's the big d-.... Oh...." You began to say and then suddenly realized what he had meant. You had only been thinking about the fact that your therapy was going to end, not about what was supposed to come afterwards. You hadn't been thinking about Arthur's words a year ago. He had come to visit a couple of times, so you were a bit used to the British man who'd claimed to be your guardian. But although you had come to terms with Arthur's relationship with you as a brother, you didn't want to leave Emil. Your chest began to hurt. It felt like it was being torn in half. You didn't know what to do. You felt your (e/c) eyes water and you looked away. You were at a loss for words, so you simply nodded. You suddenly realized what your reply to his statement must have seemed like. You looked at Emil and felt guilty almost immediately, seeing the hurt look in his crystal blue eyes. You couldn't handle it. You felt like you couldn't breath. You had to get out of there. There were too many emotions piling up inside of you, and they had no escape, no escape at all. So you did what you remembered doing in these types of situations. You ran.

"...I..... Uhm.... I..... I.... I-I'm so sorry, Emil!" You yelled, squeezing your tear-filled eyes shut. You bolted out of the room and sped through the house, finally reaching the front door. You hesitated, your hand resting on the knob. The pain in your chest returned and you winced. You heard heavy footsteps running and then abruptly stopping at the end of the hallway.

"(Y/n)! Don't you dare! It's blizzarding outside!!!" Emil yelled. You could tell from his voice that he had just seen your hand on the door knob. "(Y/n), please!!!" Your heart seemed to split in half, and you felt unbearable pain. With one last painful and sorrowful glance back at your beloved, you threw the door open and ran desperately into the swirling, white snowstorm, the tears finally streaking down your face and caressing your broken heart.