Shikamaru x Temari Distance (AU)

2.1

Temari was cautiously going to the door, a knife in hand when she heard his brother's voice.

- Temari, open up. There's somebody who wants to see you.

- Who?

- It's me.

She froze. She must be imagining things. Maybe she's dreaming. She looked at the knife in her hand, wondering if she should cut herself just to see if she was. She shrugged the thought, but her fingers were still itching. But whatever this was, she couldn't wait to open the door. If he was here, she had to see him. Even if it was her subconscious playing tricks on her.

When she opened the door, the fastest she had ever done, she could only see her brother's face.

- Don't look so disappointed. - Gaara murmured and went inside, smirking when he saw the knife in her hand. He was secretly hoping she'd try to hurt him somehow.

- Hi. - said Shikamaru, who was getting nervous. The expression on her face was unreadable.

Temari gripped her knife tighter, at which Shikamaru worriedly glanced. He should probably take a step back now, but he couldn't. Who cares, if she wants to take a stab at him, have it her way. He's had it his way since they met; this seems like a good opportunity to give her what she wants. As long as she gave him a reaction, any reaction, to indicate she cared, his world is still intact.

But where he expected throbbing pain, he felt two arms circling around his back like a snake. The knife was dropped on the floor.

Temari couldn't believe what she was seeing but decided the later she figured out if she was dreaming, the better. Of course, that'd mean she'd wake up and cry for days, but if she didn't hug him when she had the chance, she'd wake up and hate herself for it.

Shikamaru couldn't breathe, but he didn't dare take her hands off of himself, especially when he felt something wet on his chest. Her tears were drenching his dress shirt. Instead, he slowly raised his hands, hugged her around the small of her back with one arm while his other found her cheeks, wiping the tears away. She was starting to sob quietly into his chest, and he didn't tell her not to cry. He instead gently stroked her hair and waited. When she was starting to calm down, he whispered "I missed you."

Temari opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself. If this was a dream, she didn't want to wake up just yet, and she was scared she would if she talked.

Now that she was in his arms again, he didn't understand the strength he had before when he managed to let her go.

- I don't know if you heard, but... Shiho and I broke up. I didn't want to see you as a married man, so I waited 'til it was final.

He received no answer, so he waited, stroking her hair.

Temari looked up at him. Now that her vision wasn't blurry from the tears, she could make out his features more clearly. He looked tired, but his eyes alone looked brighter than ever. When he smiled, her heart raced as it always did. Maybe she wasn't dreaming like she thought because she never could see him smile in her dreams.

She sniffed his collar, which smelled of coffee, a bit of chocolate, dust, and something else she couldn't describe.

- I came straight from the airport; I shouldn't smell too good.

- No, you're fine. - she immediately corrected him out of impulse but regretted it.

- Y-You're not... disappearing. - she said, smiling.

- Why would I?

Her hand went up to touch his skin. - You're really here. What happened to you? - she asked worriedly, her fingers tracing the slightly noticeable bruise on his cheek.

- Your brother happened. - he said, chuckling. When her eyebrows furrowed, he put a finger in the middle of her brows, softening them.

- You know I deserved it. He's grown much taller by the way. You haven't though. - he joked, holding his hand above her head, comparing their heights. - I think you got shorter.

He felt a pinch that was sure to bruise for days and yelped in pain.

- L-Look, I can rest my head on yours more easily now. - he continued, his voice strained.

Temari laughed out loud.

- It was like this before. - she protested.

- Nah, it really wasn't this easy before.

- Do you want to go and talk somewhere else? - asked Temari, knowing Gaara was listening to every word.

They went outside and walked through the streets of the Land of Snow. Shikamaru looked at her hand that was still in his, and chuckled.

- What? - she asked.

- Just noticed that you haven't let go of me since you saw me. Not complaining, though.

- It's because I still kinda think you might disappear.

Shikamaru twitched at that. Just how much he had managed to hurt her was dawning on him.

- No, it's not your fault. I just have some... issues I'm still dealing with.

- I wanted to make it better. Not worse. - he said, his voice solemn.

- You did make it better. Plus, it's not really your responsibility.

- What if I want it to be?

- Are you saying you want to be my psychiatrist? - she joked.

- No. Yes. I don't know. I'm saying I want to be your personal everything. From now on.

- You don't have to fix me, Shikamaru.

- No, I know. I just want to make things better for you.

- I want to make things better for you too. - she said, slowing down.

- I'm so glad you haven't forgotten about me. - he said, slowly stroking her cheek. Temari could feel the blood flushing to her cheeks.

- I found out I could never.

Sadly.

- You tried to?

- Every day.

- I'm glad you failed - Shikamaru said. He let go of her hand, circling his around her back to pull her closer.

Temari was surprised at her own reaction when he let her go for less than a second. It was like her insides were suddenly drenched in ice-cold water. She realized how vulnerable she had become to his touch.

Now Shikamaru's other hand was on her chin, pulling it closer to his. Panic alarms set off inside Temari's head that prevented her from engaging in things that were bound to hurt her later.

- Wait.

Shikamaru pulled away immediately, but before he could take a step back, Temari's hands pulled him from his shoulder.

- Don't get far. - she said.

- Okay.

- It's just... I'm afraid that you're gonna leave again. I don't think I can handle it the second time.

Shikamaru took her hands in his.

- Don't worry. I don't have the strength anymore. This time, I won't let go first. As long as you want me, as long as you need me, I will be here. - he reassured her.

- You're telling the truth. - she said, looking into his eyes. - You promise?

- I promise.

She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him.

The second their lips met, she knew she was screwed. She knew that if he left now, she'd break with no hope of ever being whole again. She didn't know if what she was feeling was healthy, probably not, but she also realized that she was willing to take that chance. For him. 

A/N sorry this took longer than I expected. I kept deleting what I wrote and rewriting it. This is not the last chapter by the way.