Black Butterfly || Anakin Skywalker x Reader

11 - The One

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"Someday we will find what we are looking for. Or maybe not. Maybe we'll find something greater than that."

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You know that moment when your entire life flashes before your eyes and you see every single joyous memory you have, and even the memories you had hoped to never relive again?

Well, that's what happened to me the second I locked eyes with a suspected murderous crime lord. While holding a device that I had planted in his office to spy on him.

I saw happy memories with my parents, sad memories where I lost people I loved, the time I met my now husband, when I graduated the police academy, and the day I got married.

My wedding day is the key memory that stood out though. But I wasn't thinking about walking down the aisle, uttering words of devotion, or crying at the altar. Actually, I didn't even cry on my wedding day.

Don't get me wrong, I do love Connor and I was happy that day, but I wasn't overcome with joy to the point to where I was pushed to tears. It was simply another Thursday for me, with a dress, cake, and alcohol. Oh, and presents.

But the moment I was thinking about, and was on replay in my mind during this instant - was ten minutes prior to walking down the aisle.

꧁꧂

My heart was racing, my palms were sweating, and I was looking at myself in the mirror, scared beyond belief. I had two options flowing through my mind right about now; option one, I could crawl out of the window and make a run for it; or option two, swallow the overwhelming fear and go tell the man that loves me 'I do'.

Both were tempting — equally tempting.

I took a few deep breaths as I leaned forward onto the vanity and closed my eyes, "I can do this, I can do this," I whispered before looking  up and locked eyes with myself through the mirror, "I can do this." I repeated as I attempted to muster up the courage to make the one decision that would've leave a church full of people hating me.

"Honey?" There was a knock on the room door, before it slowly opened and my mother came in with an expression of concern, "Baby we're all waiting for you, are you-" She paused when she got closer and eyed my dress as watered formed in her eyes, "Oh honey, you look so beautiful." She beamed with an excited joy.

And I wanted to give her the same joy in return. In fact, I wanted to be bouncing off the walls with excitement as I always expected I'd be on my wedding day. But instead, she received a solemn sigh as I dropped my head down, "I don't feel beautiful, I feel so out of place."

"What do you mean? Are you okay?" She gently placed her hand on my shoulder and rubbed it for a soothing comfort that only worked to an extent.

I was silent for a few moments as I thought of the words I wanted to say; hoping they made just as much sense out loud as they did in my head, "I'm scared I'm making the wrong choice mom. I love Connor and I think he's the kindest, sweetest, most genuine man in the world and he treats me so well. It's hard to even believe he's real," I glanced up to meet her gaze through the mirror, "But I feel like there's something that's missing. I just don't know what it is."