Black Butterfly || Anakin Skywalker x Reader

36 - The Heart Wants What it Wants

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"There are a million reasons why I should give you up, but the heart wants what it wants."

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Connor took a single step back, "A divorce? But-" He glanced away for a moment. The pink neon sign from outside of the club illuminated his features, making the water rising in his eyes visible to me, "Baby please, I don't want a divorce. I love you." His voice cracked as he shifted his gaze back to me.

I scoffed as a single tear rolled down my cheek, "You say you love me, yet you slept with someone else in the bed and house that we bought together." I feel like that's what makes it worse. If he would have kept it at whatever club or bar he picked her up from, then it probably would hurt just a little less. But no, he took her to our home because he had every intention of hurting me — and he succeeded.

"It was a mistake (y/n), it didn't mean anything to me. But you, you mean everything to me and I'm so sorry. I let my anger get the best of me and I will spend the rest of our lives making up that regret to you," He bit his bottom lip so hard I thought he was going to draw blood. He was trying to keep himself together in front of all these people. Him breaking down would ruin the illusion of this being a professional conversation.

I will admit that forgiving him was tempting, and that's because I knew it would be the easy thing to do. I wouldn't have to get a divorce, life would be how it was before with no drastic changes, and it would also make my decision on what to do with my feelings for Anakin a million times easier.

I wonder if this is what all those victims of infidelity feel, the struggle to choose between what is comfortable and the unknown. If so, then I understand more now why people stay. Change is frightening.

But still, something inside of me couldn't agree with that choice and it wasn't just because I felt it would be a betrayal to myself to take him back. But also because the second any thought of arresting Anakin came to mind, I would be involuntarily reminded of his smile, his laugh, and the sweet taste of his kiss.

Fuck I hate that I miss him right now. I shouldn't be feeling any of this — especially not with my husband standing in front of me. But it's true what they say, the heart wants what it wants, and it leaves no room up for debate.

Connor stopped biting down and opened his mouth like he was going to speak again, but he paused when his eyes momentarily drifted downwards. Then he looked at me with a stare filled with so much anger I felt a small ping of fear spark in my chest, and that's because I knew exactly what he saw — something I forgot was there until now.

"You're really going to try and make me feel guilty, when you're standing there with a fucking hickey on your neck," He snapped through clenched teeth, his red eyes glossing with rage, "Who did that to you?" He gestured to it.

I took a step back towards the club — this conversation wasn't happening, "Go home Connor." I said calmly, trying to keep myself together.

He clenched his fists like a pouting child, "Not until you tell me who you cheated on me with."

The audacity of this bitch.