Black Butterfly || Anakin Skywalker x Reader

28 - Simple Psychology

I hope this chapter isn't confusing for anyone, I was trying to make y/n appear confused no matter what angle she turned to because she's subconsciously denying the truth, so she's consistently going to walk into a brick wall until she comes to terms with it. Which is that yes she's heart broken over Connor, but a part of her was already healing and moving on because she's already fallen for another(obviously her true love) without realizing it.
So keep that in mind when reading this chapter and please let me know if I did okay conveying her complex emotions (:

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"You can never control who you fall in love with, even when you're in the most sad, confused time of your life. You don't fall in love with people because they're fun. It just happens."

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Breakfast in the morning was silent on my part. The other three—Anakin, Ahsoka, and Piett—conversed amongst each other, while Anakin occasionally stole a few glances my way, probably thinking I wouldn't notice. I sat there without joining their conversations and slowly ate as I blamed a headache for my off behavior.

But really I was doing my best to hide how hurt I was. It felt like Connor reached down my throat and ripped out my heart. And even after all that happened and I told him not to contact me — he still kept blowing up my phone with calls, voicemails, and texts with him begging me to forgive him. I had to shut it off and leave it in my bag in Ashoka's room when we left for the club so I wouldn't draw attention to myself.

I was devastated, and all I kept thinking about was him on top of someone else, and it was driving me fucking crazy. And if I wasn't being tormented with thoughts on that, then I'd get flashes of the dream of Anakin and I on his kitchen counter. Which ultimately gave me a headache that only subsided when I had alcohol in my system.

I held the long island in my palms and slowly drank it like it was a morning cup of coffee, then smiled when it's numbing affect went through my body like a pulsating wave. For the first time today - the pain in my chest subsided and my mind was clear of any unwanted thoughts regarding Anakin and my backstabbing, cheating husband.

"This is exactly what I needed right now." I sighed with content, taking another drink. Now I see why people with depression drink so much m, it really does have a soothing affect.

To say that my mind was intertwined mess of mass confusion would be an understatement. I hardly knew up from down right now and I'm positive this alcohol isn't helping with anything except temporarily burying unwanted thoughts and feelings that brought me down. Which is what I needed, so I welcomed it.

Ahsoka chuckled as she leaned back in the white, leather couch next to me; the clubs purple and blue lights occasionally crossing her features, "You might want to slow down though, that's your third one so far and we've only been here for thirty minutes." She took a drink of her water from the table in front of us — or at least I think it's water.

"Right," I set the cup down. The last thing I wanted was to black-out within the first hour and wake up on a fishing boat somewhere the next day with a freshly done Justin Bieber tattoo — not that that would happen, I've just seen a lot of movies.

I peered down at the club and eyed the group of people dancing against each other to the loud music. Ahsoka and I were up in the VIP section with two bouncers present that waved off anyone who tried to enter the restricted area. According to Ahsoka, the opportunity to pay for a table up here tonight wasn't even available — this entire upstairs area was only ours for the night. Per Anakin's demand.