Deja Vu // Ateez

Twenty-One

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San struggled against the ropes that tied him down. Dr. Lee was panicking, trying to get him to stop. "San, calm down."

"Calm down? CALM DOWN!?"

San's head started to pound again, making him scream in pain. His brain hurt so much, The pain was like needles that had been dipped in alcohol had been jammed through his skin. It made him dizzy. It made him reel.

"San, please, I need you to stop and let me continue, otherwise-," Dr. Lee rushed out, fear evident on his face.

"Otherwise what?!" San spit out, biting down on his lip to keep from screaming.

"You'll die."

"I-I'd rather die than go t-through that again." The agony had faded to a dull throb as San panted heavily, looking over at the doctor. "You really should check if someone doesn't carry anything before you do this too."

San grabbed the knife that was hidden in the side of his pant leg. There was a pocket that looked normal inside, but San altered it so there was a little slip of fabric covering his weapon. He flicked his wrists, cutting the restraints in a blink of an eye. Dr. Lee flinched back, knocking over the tray of syringes all over the floor, some even breaking in the process.

San hopped off the chair, stumbling from how weak his legs felt, but pushed through and stomped over to the doctor, wrapping his hand tightly around his neck. "Tell me how to get the hell out of here."

Dr. Lee gasped for air, hands grabbing at his wrists, trying to pry them off his throat. "T-T-There's an e-exit o-o-on the f-first floor."

"What floor are we on?"

"forty-five."

San cursed under his breath. Letting go of his throat, San jabbed his knife into the doctor's leg so he couldn't follow him out. Cries lingered behind him as he stumbled his way out of the laboratory.

The pain in San's head ramped up from pounding all the way to searing, blinding agony faster than he could blink.

Both hands came up to hold his head, making him want to scream his lungs out. The pain just wouldn't stop.

They say pain makes you stronger, but San did not feel strong.

San always put a brave face on, but deep down, he was terrified and all the rational decisions he made were out of fear. That's why he wanted to go alone when Yuri came, he feared that Yunho would be taken, or Mingi would get hurt, Wooyoung and Jongho would lose each other, and Hongjoong would die.

He couldn't have that.

That was his family.

And now Seonghwa and Yeosang were a part of it too, and he would do anything to protect them just like he would protect his family.

The night before San left, he remembers what Hongjoong said to him before he decided to break his promise to him.

"I know I only just met you a couple days ago," His thumb lightly traced San's bottom lip, eyes traveling over the freckles that littered his neck. "but I can't help but feel I've known you my entire life. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."