Loving him, Love her

Amen and bed pans

Janell...
"Amen" I said as a tear slid from my eyes. I already know that I'm going to miss him. I heard every word he said and I knew that he meant them. I agree with the prayer that was prayed as well. Turning over I went back to sleep, it's easier not to feel or think right now.

1 Month later
"Eric, I'm not sure if photosynthesis is the correct answer."

"Janelle, we've been at this for hours you will pass the final don't worry."

"That's easy for you to say, your grade isn't swinging between C and D, mine is. I know I'm stressing but I can't help it! I really want to pass this class so I will never have to take it again."

"Janelle, how's Mel really doing?"

"Eric, she's good! It's been difficult for her these past few weeks, but give her time she'll come around. How's Dallas? He hasn't been around for while now. Hey let's all of us go to Pizza king tonight it's been a long time since we all hung out together it'll be fun."

Closing my books I gathered my thing a put them into Mavericks back pack. It's been a month since Maverick left and 3 weeks since I moved back to the dorms. I stayed at his apartment for a week, I'm sure that I could have left after a day or two, but I missed him so much and I wanted to be near him in a way. Melanie took care of me and never complained.

I had no idea Bishop lived in the townhouse next door. He came over every day to check on me, to bring me food or just sit with me. After a week of healing and moping it was time to go. I gathered my things that Mel brought to the house and I packed them in his leather backpack. I saw it hanging on the closet door and I knew that it was the one from DC because it had the blanket and Panda stuffed inside, so I've had the backpack every since.

Heading out the library I text the girls to let them know that we are going to Pizza King later tonight. Each responded with a yes. " Eric we are on for tonight let's say around 8:30 see if Dallas is coming and we'll meet you guys there." Eric and I go our separate ways.

Heading towards the dorm I decided to go to the park instead and sit on my bench near the brook. Today, it's very cold out. The trees have all lost there leaves, but the Weeping Willow trees are still hanging in there. After my final on Monday I'll be heading home for Thanksgiving. I haven't told any of my family about what happened in DC. It never seemed like the right time, and it seemed so long ago now. It's only when I move suddenly that I feel I little pinch and then I remember. You can hardly see the scar I've been faithful with putting aloe Vera oil, and cocoa butter on it.

It's been about three weeks since I've heard from Maverick and when I did it was brief. I could tell that he was tired, and he even said that he was stressed and that it was more work then he thought. I asked if there was anything that I could do, I know their isn't, but I needed to ask. He told me to just pray for him, he didn't have to ask me to do that it was a given. So whenever I miss him I come to the park and sit on this bench and pray for him. I pray for his success, guidance, direction, and safety.

Today I feel a little off. I kept getting answers wrong during my study session with Eric, and this morning I woke up whimpering. I wasn't quite crying but I was holding Panda and whimpering. Something just doesn't feel right and I can't put my finger on it.

I know I'm tired a frustrated because I have finals, I miss my family, and I'm so confused about Maverick. I'm in a make shift relationship, he's not here, he hasn't called, texted, email, IM, nothing. I'm in the middle of my rant when I feel a bump on my shoulder, ready with an apology I look up and my whole demeanor changes.

"You need to watch where your going! I really would hate for you to fall and break your neck, Janelle." Stepping an inch closer in her face, I contemplate if I should hit her or not. I know it's not the Christian thing to do, but I really wouldn't mind "laying holy hands" on her right about now! But I muster all the goodness I have in me and I step back and relax my stance.