The true love story

chapter twenty-five

*one week later*

i've been at the hospital for about a week now. i have a broken leg and a cuncusion. i now have a stupid cast on my right leg and  i've been staying in this room with Jay. he's been so angry with Nikki. but this isn' her fault. none of this is her fault. i've never really been opening up about my feelings. all i've been doing for these past few days are eating and staring at the wall. i might as well be a statue. I don't wanna grieave over my poor baby. I hate to think this. but you know how god has a plan for all of us? well i think this is My plan. maybe this was Jason's plan, to be with my mom. And maybe this is Jayden's plan. we all have a plan for our lives. maybe this was all supost to happen. i just wish this didn't hurt so much.

Today was Monday and i was finally going home. But that's when eveyrthing just starts to speed up. i have to see go to emotional theropy and after i get my cast off i also have to go to physical theropy. My dad doesn't even know about me losing Jason. I wish he was here though. i just wish my dad was here to tell me eveything was gonna be okay. so i can believe in something.

Jay walks through the door with a large yet smalll black duffle bag,"Here's your clothes." said Jay. i got out of my bed and started to walk towards the bag,"I didn't know what to bring you, so i just brought your favorite lazy outfit." said Jay smiling. i slightly smile at him. he's been getting a little better. but i could still tell there was still pieces of himself crumbling before me. i looked in the bag and took out the clothing. it was a pair of grey sweats and a white t-shirt. Jay was right though. this was my favorite lazy outfit that i felt more comfortable. I looked up at him.

"Thank you." i said softly looking up at him. god i'm haunted by the image of Jason. he looked so much like Jay that it wasn't even funny. the could have been twins,"You're welcome...hey on our way home, you want me to pick up some chinease and ice cream? our favorite." said Jay making me smile,"Yeah i'd like that." i said tring to keep my small smile on,"Well, i'll let you get dressed then we can head out." said Jay then left the room. i close the door behind him. i lean my forehead against the door and slowly fall to my knees. i then started to silently cry. this was all so hrd to know that i've just lost my baby and nowi have to try be happy. i can't be happy. i needed to just grab a hammer and hit the walls. but i couldn't. i could only just cry. that's all i can do.

As i striped my hospital robe off, i look down at my stomach. i was still a little fat. i didn't have stretch marks, but i was still a little fat. a tear streams down my face and onto the floor as i think of hope amazing it felt when Jason would kick. i felt like i was having an amazing little baby. i wiped my eyes and went back to dressing. i put on my clothes and went to the bag, where there in the bottom, were my black and white converse. i slipped them on and put the hospital dress on the bed that i fixed up for the nurses. I open the door to Jay texting on his phone. he looks up at me and slightly smiles,"What?" i asked not trying to sound too rude,"Nothing it's just...you're beautiful and i missed seeing you in my clothes." said Jay making me slighty smile,"Sorry um i was just-"

"It's fine." i said slightly smiling

"Lets go." said Jay grabbing the bag from my hands and hadning me my crutches. we then walked out to Jay's car.

We stopped and grabbed some chinease food and stopped at the gas station to refill the tank. I sat on the hood of the car and just smelled the fresh air. it's been awhile since i haven't been outside. the wind was really strong today. i looked around and my eyes were caught by the sight of a mother in the bacl seat of her car, caring for her baby. the baby was really adorable. i could feel a tear streram down my face. i sighed loudly and was snapped out of my thoughts by a hand touching my shoulder. i turn my head to meet face to face with Jay's sweet somber eyes. he looked at the baby and back at me,"I know." said Jay   bringing me into a hug,"I wanted that too." said Jay in a raspy voice. after a few more minutes of hugging, Jay and i released ourselves from our embrace and looked at eachother,"He will always be with us...Here." i said putting my hand over his heart. Jay looks down at my stomach and begins to sob uncontroably. he then puts his hand on my stomach,"I'm sorry that i was never there for you and the baby...i'm sorry that i've been a complete dick when you were pregnant, and i'm sorry that i stayed at work later then i usually do, but I was just trying to be a good fiance and father and wanted to save up to buy us a house where Jason could grow up." said Jay. i had no idea that he was saving up for a new house,"I just wanted to make you happy Jess...i just wanted us to be happy and now...i'm just sorry Jess." said Jay. i bring him in for a hug. i tightne our hug as he cried more,"None of this is your fault, i don't even know who's fault this is." i said sobbing more into his shoulder. Jay and i stayed there for a while and just hugged. after about thirt minutes of hugging and crying, we went into the car and went on our way home.