Gotta Be You {Chandara} - COMPLETED

21. LOVE ME RIGHT

"What do you mean by it's no longer happening?"

My heart was crushed. Hindi pa din ako makapaniwala sa sinabi ng RM namin na hindi na daw matutuloy ang MAMA collab ng EXO at 2ne1. Halos isang linggo din kasi kaming nag-rehearse with Channie's group sa secret location just outside Seoul and I cannot believe that our agency's higher ups are now dropping it like a hot potato. Sayang 'yung effort naming lahat at 'yung excitement namin na muling magsama-sama as a group on stage. I gave my heart and soul to this.

Natulala ako after that dreaded phone call. Parang masamang panaginip. Para kang iniwan na nakalutang sa ere tapos wala ka namang pakpak kaya alam mong lalagapak ka sa baba. At ang nakakatakot pa kasi nito, ni hindi mo alam if may sasalo ba sa'yo pagbagsak mo or wala.

EXO got nothing to lose. Kahit hindi man mag-materialize ang collaboration nila with us, it will not dent their image. They are one of the biggest boybands in KPOP, considered kings in their own right even, and SM Entertainment has an incredible plan for them na future-proof. But it's the exact opposite for 2ne1.

YG Entertainment is also apparently pulling out most of its artists from their scheduled performances in big variety shows and events for the time being. Medyo matindi kasi ang mga kinasangkutang legal scandals ng CEO namin at maging ilan sa mga malalaking talents ng agency ay may mga kinakaharap ding kaso at kontrobersiya.

Our agency has also favored selected talents and will be focusing most of the company's resources and marketing activities to promote the new 4-girl group na halata namang binuo upang ipalit sa 2ne1.

They're obviously younger, a lot slimmer, more energetic, and fresh faces. Their physique fits the regular mould of beauty standards right down to a T, which is the exact opposite of 2ne1 and what we're supposed to stand for.

Yes, alam ko namang aabot talaga sa ganitong point ang career namin. That we would have to bow down and say goodbye. This is KPOP, the industry where anyone can be easily replaced by the next big thing. But what I didn't expect is the fact na hindi man lang kami nabigyan ng chance to make a graceful exit.

Bommie is the one who took it the hardest among all of us. My heart is breaking for her and I wish I could do something to help her bounce back from this. Our baby Minzy is also depressed. She's way too young for her potential and talent to be dismissed like this. CL maybe CL, pero sobra-sobra na din ang na-invest n'ya para lang maitsapwera nang ganito. The injustice and unfair treatment are just too painful to be put into words.

I heard someone activating the electronic lock of my front door and silently prayed that it's him. I badly need a hug right now.

God, kailangan ko po talaga ng kapre sa buhay ko today please.

And like the true miracle that he is, my Park Chanyeol entered the door. Definitely an answered prayer. I instantly jumped from the couch to run and hug him tight. I bawled my eyes out while buried in his chest. I was like a little kid who just got bullied in school and now wants her protector to save her.

Channie hugged me back while giving me gentle kisses on my forehead. Halos dalawampung minuto din kaming naka-ganun sa tapat ng pintuan. Natigil lang nang may mag-"ehem" na matandang babae na napadaan sa tapat ng unit ko. Nyay! Hindi pala namin naisara ang pinto sa sobrang excitement ko. Naging instant PDA pa tuloy kami. Nakakahiya sa neighbors ko!

Mabilis na isinara ni Channie ang pinto habang panay ang bow at sorry sa matanda dahil sa kahihiyan.

"Bat kasi hindi mo sinara agad? Nakakahiya tuloy." Pagmamaktol ko.

"Pano ko naman masasara yung pinto kanina kung nilingkis mo na 'ko kagad pagkapasok ko pa lang?" Pagrereklamo n'ya na ikinapikon ko.

"Ano 'ko ahas? Bakit? Bawal na ba? Ayaw mo ba? E di wag! Wag kang mag-alala. Hinding-hindi ko na uulitin. Manigas kang kapre ka!"

"Joke lang yun, bansot! You can do whatever you want with me and my body. I'm all yours. Tara," he spread his arms once again expecting me  to come back and to hug him again.

I just stood in front of him habang pinanlilisikan s'ya ng mata. Nakakabwisit talaga 'tong kapre na 'to kahit kelan. Hindi mo kasi maintindihan minsan kung knight in shining armor or manyak lang sa madilim na eskinita ang image na gusto. Kung nakikita lang ng fans kung papaano s'ya umasta sa totoong buhay, for sure maloloka silang lahat.

"Neknek mo!" Nag-belat pa ko sa kanya.

He gave me a disappointed look pero nanatiling nakabukas ang mga bisig n'ya for me. "Sandara Park, ambagal mo. Naaatat na 'ko dito. Come here. Lingkisin mo pa 'ko please naman."

Papatulan ko pa sana ang pang-iinis ni tenga sa'ken kaso napansin ko bigla ang plastic bag na hawak-hawak n'ya. "Ano 'yang hawak mo?"

"Your closest friends Ben and Jerry," nakangiting sagot ni Channie na may pagkindat pa at inilapit pa ang mukha n'ya sa akin para daw mabigyan ko sya ng kiss as reward for bringing me my favorite ice cream.

But I dismissed his readied face and snatched the plastic from his hand to his dismay. "Naku baka natunaw na. Ilalagay ko muna sa freezer," medyo naiiyak pa din na pag-aalala ko sa ice cream.

Napakamot ulo na lang si Channie sa ginawa ko at sinundan ako sa kitchen.

"Are you feeling better?" His voice turned serious this time kaya napalingon ako sa kanya.

Alam ko namang he's concerned for me kaya s'ya nandito ngayon. My career is currently in limbo and hindi ko alam what's the next right step for me to take with all these missed opportunities and all the bad news that keep on coming.

"I don't know. I'm scared. I've never been this scared." Pag-amin ko.

And in one swift motion, he walked towards me and trapped me in a tight embrace.

I felt heavily secured and protected. Kahit ata sinong magtangka, hinding-hindi matitibag ang pagmamahal na meron dito sa mga dibdib ni Park Chanyeol para sa akin. Na kahit may nararamdaman akong takot para sa future, alam kong things in my life will eventually fall into place.

"Don't worry. I know you're scared and hindi ko sasabihing wag kang matakot, but what I can assure you with is I'm just right here para alisin lahat ng takot mo. I'm always here. Ano man ang gusto mong gawin, I will support you. Ano man ang mga tanong mo, I will answer you. I will be responsible for you, Sandy, and I will make sure you will get everything that will make you happy for the rest of your life." May kumpiyansa ang bawat salita ni Channie. Yung alam mong kaya mong panghawakan lahat ng pangako n'ya. His words were also filled with so much love, warming my heart.

I looked at his face while still hugging him and mouthed a shy "I love you" to him.

"I love you more," sagot n'ya while he's gently wiping the tears in my eyes with his hand.

I don't know what got into me but all of a sudden, I tiptoed to give him a quick smack on the lips which stunned him obviously.

"Can you please do me a favor, Mr. Park Chanyeol? Pwede bang wag mo na 'kong asarin at ikaw na lang ang magkusang lumingkis sa'ken?" I asked him in jest na tila naghahamon.

Nagningning naman ang mga mata ni Channie sa narinig because he's been waiting to hear those silly words from me. Agad n'ya kong binuhat para dalhin sa kuwarto.

"Lingkisan na!" Bulalas ng kapre na mahal na mahal ko.