SMG4: The Good, the Bad and the Crazy

Interns to the slaughter

SMG4 was back in the castle, standing atop the main staircase as he overlooked his friends hanging out. He put his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat.

SMG4: Ahem!

Everyone turned to him. Now having their attention, SMG4 began his announcement.

SMG4: Everyone. I am sad to inform you that my longtime assistant, Mustilidae Speckler, will soon be retiring.

Meggy: Wait, you have an assistant?

SMG4: Yeah.

Bob: BrUh, SiNcE wHeN?!

SMG4: For like, the last seven years.

Saiko: And you didn't bother ever telling us?

SMG4: Look, that's not important, what is important is that we're gonna be hosting job interviews for the next couple of days. I want you all to be on good behavior. Especially you, Mario!

Mario: Oi! I'm the best behaved out of all of you! When have I ever done something wrong?

SMG4: Do you want that number in thousands or millions?

Mario: Mamafucker!

SMG4: Anyways, carry on with whatever it is you're doing.

He turned away and headed into another room where Speckler was sitting at a desk, reading the newspaper.

SMG4: Alright then, did you promote the job opening?

Speckler: Of course I did. Look right here!

He showed him the newspaper he was reading, which had an advertisement for the job offering.

SMG4: Please tell me that wasn't the only thing you advertised this on?

Speckler: Of course not, I put it online too, as you requested.

SMG4: Oh good. For a second I thought we were screwed.

He pulled out a chair and sat beside his assistant.

SMG4: All we need to do now is wait until the applicants come rolling in.

One day later

Not a single person had shown up for the job interview. SMG4 slammed his hands on the desk as Speckler sipped some coffee.

SMG4: Where is everyone?!

Speckler: Well, we do have to consider this is you, you want people to work for.

SMG4: Point made. Hmm... Looks like I'm gonna have to use some of my advanced marketing skills to get people to work here.

Speckler: And that is?

SMG4: ...

Later

SMG4 slapped a bunch of posters all over the city that said: "Internships with Elon! Job possibly not included."

SMG4: Another job well done!

After a few hours, they'd received several applications for internships.

SMG4: Woohoo! Look at all these interns, it's like an all you can eat buffet of them!

Speckler: You know in the end, only one will get the job.

SMG4: Well, best we start thinning the herd.

He raised his owen gun and cocked it.

Speckler: Try not to whittle their numbers down too quickly, boss.