Why Doesn't He Love Me

Chapter 2

*Flashback*

Niall's pov

It's my three year anniversary with Harry today and I really want to make this one special. He has been very distant from me these last two weeks and I have a feeling that it's my fault. He spent the night tonight though so I guess it was an improvement. It is currently 9:30 in the morning and I have just finished making him breakfast. I even made him a little cupcake that says happy anniversary on it. It looked and smelled perfect and all I could do was pray it tasted that way. Harry comes down a few minutes later rubbing his eyes.

"Happy three year anniversary babe!" I say as I walk over to him and hug him. He returns it with a tight squeeze and a kiss on the top of the head.

"Everything looks amazing Niall." he praises me letting go of me to sit down and eat.

"Thank you."I simple say sitting across from him and start eating myself. "So I was thinking that maybe I could take you to a restaurant since you took me last year and then maybe we could come back here and I could give you-" I was cut off by a long sigh coming from Harry.

"Niall. You know I love you right." he ask me. A little confused all I could do was furrow my eyebrows and nod my head slowly. "Please keep that in mind because what I'm about to say right now breaks my heart to admit." He takes a deep breath me still confused as to what he is saying "I think we need to see new people" he says and my heart just sinks. It feels like I've been hit with a billion brick and me saying that would be an understatement.

"Harry what did I do I can change for you baby please just give me another chance I-" I couldn't even finish pleading him before he cut me off again.

"Niall let me finish. You can't do anything. You don't have to change for me or anybody. Be who you are now. The care free Irish mofo that is always making people happy on their worst days. Be the boy I fell in love with three years ago. Find somebody who will treat you so much better than I could ever and I will only hope that I can find somebody who will treat me as good as you do. Niall babe this can't go on. I've tried so hard these last few weeks to dismiss this idea that I fell out of love with you but the truth is that I did and that's why we cant continue this relationship any longer. I am so sorry Niall and I know this is horrible timing but I just can't be your prince charming anymore. And you can't be mine."

By the time he finishes I'm crying and Harry's eyes have glossed over. My heart is in physical pain and it hurts to breathe. Harry turns around grabbing his car keys. I let a sob escape my lips and Harry bow's his head and grips onto his keys tighter turning his knuckles white. "I'm so sorry" he whispers before he walks out the front door.

The heartbreak I am felling right now is hands down the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. I pick up my plate full of food and throw it across the room. It hits the wall and breaks into a million pieces and I can't help but notice that I looks like how my heart feels. I only wanted to feel release but it didn't work it just made a bigger mess. I walk into the kitchen and grab a plastic bag. I then walk over to the mess I just made. I first start with picking up the food then move to the glass not caring if I have no gloves on. As I try and pick up the smaller pieces I cut the palm of my hand. Then it hits me. The only way I could ever feel release is going back to my habit I had started before the band was even formed. I haven't done this in almost five years but I need to do it again. I run up the stairs and to the bathroom. I look for the razor I use to shave my morning scruff. When I find it I raise it as high as I can and throw it down on the floor as hard as I can breaking it. I pick up the metal blade and examine it. Its small cold and sharp just perfect for this situation. I take off my pajama pants and roll up the legs of my boxers so I could keep them on. I lean against the closed door and slide down it.This isn't how it was suppose to be. I thought I could escape this but the truth is...

There is no escape to the monsters inside.