Cinnamon & Rubies // The Outsiders

thirty-one

She couldn't sleep.

Most nights Caroline fell asleep the second her head hit the pillow thanks to the combination of working herself past the point of exhaustion and the steady warmth from Darry's side of the bed. But tonight, she couldn't sleep. Her ribs didn't hurt too bad, just the occasional twinge here and there when she reached her arms up to grab a plate on a higher shelf.

It had been a week since Helen Montgomery was laid to rest and it had been a week since Caroline last slept properly.

She sat up slowly, glancing over her shoulder to check and ensure that Darry was still fast asleep. Guilt clawed at her chest at the thought of everything he was doing for her. He looked dead on his feet every night he got home from work, especially now since the winter was fading into spring and the roofing industry was picking up. But he never complained and instead he greeted her with a kiss, a ruffle to Ponyboy's and Louise's hair, and a high five to Teddy.

Caroline knew she needed to return to work and was already scheduled to start again in two days, something that Darry protested vehemently. Her ribs weren't fully healed and he didn't want her anywhere near skates. But she couldn't just sit around the house all day when he was already strapped for cash.

She slid on slippers and made her way out of the bedroom, heading down the hall to the other bedroom. Caroline peeked her head in and relaxed just slightly when she saw that Teddy and Louise were fast asleep. Next, she carefully stepped into the living room where Ponyboy was sprawled out on the couch, his blanket thrown onto the ground. Caroline draped the knit blanket over him and then stepped back, trying to think of something that would occupy her mind and not wake anyone up.

Her eyes strayed to the second pair of keys that hung from the wall next to Darry's. Helen's car was now Caroline's and aside from the few times she used it to pick up and drop off the kids at school, she had rarely driven it. It was parked out front behind Darry's truck, collecting dust.

Caroline grabbed the keys and carefully opened the front door and the screen door, wincing slightly when the screen door squeaked on its hinges. She closed the doors behind her and wrapped her cardigan around her as she stepped down from the porch. Her breath curled up in a visible puff in the cold midnight air. Caroline ran her hand along the hood of Helen's car and hesitated before she climbed in the driver's seat and started it up.

Her mind took her to her house. Caroline eased the car to a stop in the dirt driveway and she turned it off, staring up at the crooked shutters and chipped paint. Her feet carried her into the house where an unearthly, eerie silence met her once she unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Caroline flipped the lights and grimaced at the sight before her. It truly was a crime scene. Her eyes remained fixed on the three large puddles of dried blood on the floor. The more she stared at it, the angrier she felt. This was her home. This was supposed to be her chance at freedom. Freedom from fear, freedom from anxiety, freedom from the hell that Robert Montgomery had put her and Helen through for years.

And he ripped that away too.

Caroline shrugged off her sweater, tossing it on the coffee table, and started to shove the couch. Her mind ran on autopilot as she forced all the furniture off of the rug. Caroline kneeled down and started to roll the rug up, her ribs aching in protest. Sweat beaded on her forehead and she wiped it away with the back of her hand before continuing. She dragged the rug over towards the front door and then moved to the kitchen to grab a bucket and fill it with warm water and soap along with a few rags.

On her hands and knees, Caroline scrubbed at the blood stains dried on the hardwood. The more she scrubbed, the harder the tears fell from her eyes. No matter how hard she scrubbed and how red the water became, she could still see the blood on the floor. Her hands trembled as she gripped the sponge and dragged it across the floor. Her vision blurred and Caroline sat up, throwing the sponge into the soapy water.