bloodthirsty // heathers au

twelve

Veronica

Two days after giving birth, Eden and I went home to Grace and JD. Ever since my bad dream, I had pulled away from JD again. I knew it was only a matter of time before he hurt me again. Once I remember that, it's hard to forget until he convinces me to. But he chocked up my distance to postpartum hormones and didn't say anything much about it. We lived like that for a few weeks, in this liminal space of living. Until JD couldn't take it anymore and split my lip open for leaving a dirty diaper on the changing table. Split lips escalated to black eyes, which evolved into concussions. I couldn't leave because I had two kids under two. I wouldn't be able to do it alone.

Without realizing, time slipped through my fingers again quickly. Eventually my little girls were two and four years old. Though because it was May, Grace just turned four and Eden would be three in July. JD had never put his hands on one of them until Eden, who was always a little bit excitable, spilled pink nail polish on the coffee table. I was doing Eden's nails and when she went to switch places with Grace, she knocked over the bottle before I could close it. JD yanked Eden aside and shouted at her, despite the fact that I told him it was an accident. I had a split lip and a bruise on my cheekbone for not paying close enough attention to Eden. But that was aside from the other bruises I had on my body, all of which were different sizes and in various stages of healing. The thing that bothered me was that I noticed a bruise on Eden's arm when I gave her a bath later that night.

That the was the straw that broke the camel's back. JD hurts me and I feel that I deserve it. But two little girls don't. They don't deserve to see their dad beat the hell out of their mom either. When JD left for work the next day, thinking his actions were no big deal, I packed a tote bag of clothes and other miscellaneous things such as the girls' comfort items. After I finished packing, I got the girls out of their pajamas and got myself dressed. I prepared sippy cups as the girls Grace and Eden watched that morning's episode of Sailor Moon. I gave the girls their drinks before I went to the phone and sighed heavily before dialing my parents' phone number.

It rang a few times before my mother picked up. "Sawyer residence, Valerie speaking." She said easily because she's been saying it for like thirty years.

"Mom?" I asked her nervously.

"Veronica?" She questioned back. "Where are you?" She asked me.

"Pittsburgh. It's where I've been the whole time." I answered.

"Did that psychopath take you and Grace?" She demanded to know.

"Yes." I replied solemnly. People believed me now, I realized. Or at least my mom did. That was enough for the moment. "I'm too scared to call the police." I told her.

"You can do this, Veronica. You have to be strong for Grace." She said, trying to encourage me.

"And Edie." I added, letting her know of her second grandchild. She congratulated me in a sad tone and asked a few questions about Grace and Eden. This relaxed me. She even offered to come pick me up. "I'll see you when you get here." I told her before we got off the phone. I dialed 911 and took a deep breath.

"911, where's your emergency?" The operator, a woman who sounded older than me, asked me.

"2119 North Wallace Street." I answered.

"Okay and what's going on there?" She queried.

"Um, I'm a kidnapping victim." I told her. "My name is Veronica Sawyer. My daughter Grace and I were kidnapped by my ex, Jason Dean in 1991. I need the police to come get me and my daughters." I explained my situation.

"I'm gonna send a car over. Do you know where your ex is?" She asked to get more information on the situation.

"He's at work." I said. "Please hurry." I begged. But the operator calmed me down, told me that I was about to be safe. Eventually I heard the sirens and I got off the phone with her to open the door for the police.

"You're okay now." The first cop I saw, thankfully another woman, told me. I cried like a baby. I collected my tote bag I packed, my purse and the diaper bag before collecting my daughters. Then we left with the police.

Grace and Eden were not happy to ride to the precinct. It wasn't until they got to play in a room where they interview children that they relaxed a little. I was sat down at a table in the room where my daughters were playing. I was offered coffee, which I accepted because JD didn't let me have caffeine. Plus, I had hardly slept the night before due to the anxiety of pulling off an escape.

First, the nice lady cop took a statement about my kidnapping. It was hard to recall exactly what was said, but I remembered what happened. After that, a psychiatrist spoke to me as the girls played with the dolls I had packed for them.

"That's my doll!" Grace yelled at Eden who held her Sailor Moon doll close to her chest. She shook her head.

"Grace, that's not your doll. Her boots have Edie's name on them. Yours is right here." I told her, handing her the doll she wanted. She studied the boot and read her name on the bottom. "Now please play nice and quietly." I begged her and she nodded, leaded Eden over to the other side of the room with their arms full of dolls.

"What would you say your feelings are towards Jason Dean?" The psychiatrist, another woman around my age, asked me.

"I love him." I admitted quietly. "My girls love their dad, also. I feel guilty doing this. But he hurt Eden and I can't let that happen." I added.

"Miss Sawyer, you yourself have stated that Jason Dean has committed heinous crimes, including crimes against you. Why was that not enough to leave?" She asked gently.

"I don't know." I answered, annoyed. This shit was giving me a headache.

"Now, in your diary from when you were a teenager, you described hallucinating. Does that still happen for you?" She questioned.

"Yes, but I don't have schizophrenia." I responded.

"I didn't say you did." She reminded me and I apologized for being defensive. She assured me that it was fine. "Do you have nightmares? Flashbacks?" She asked.

"Yes." I told her and the memory of the nightmare I had the day Eden was born came flooding back to me.

"How did you meet Jason Dean?" She queried. My cheeks got hot immediately.

"We met at school and saw one another before I went to a party. I got into a fight with Heather Chandler at the party. A while after I got home, he came in through my bedroom window and we had sex." I explained the one time I ever did anything like that. I had never been that kind of girl before. Heather called me a prude all the damn time. The most I'd do before I met JD was let a guy feel me up.

After that, she just asked me a bunch of mental health related questions. I don't think I said the right things. What if they think I'm crazy too and they take away my daughters?