A thousand bad times - Post Malone

Five

Bell has not stopped sniffling since they had left Austin. Austin had wanted to drive them home and the only issue with that was that they did not have a home so Holi had lied to him saying that a friend was collecting them at the bus stop and she would prefer that he did not come to such a public place and make a spectacle of himself.

So he had reluctantly given Mac and Bell a cuddle and a plush football to Bell for her to cling to then waved them off down his driveway with a sullen face. The feeling of safety had vanished from Holi's chest the second his heavy black gate closed behind them.

By the time they had walked downtown, it was dark and they were cold and miserable. Then by the time they found a good spot and set up the tent Holi had to ward off two homeless scavengers. But now they were safe in the tent and she can just make out Bell's tear-stained cheeks in the dark.

This is exactly what she had been afraid of. Both Bell and Mac had become attached to Austin. Not his money or his house, Bell does not understand that stuff yet and Mac was revelling in the attention from Austin. He had gotten under their skin. Holi was fairing no better and she has to wipe the tear sliding down her cheek.

She can't take them back next weekend. One weekend with Austin and this is the result? No, it's best for everyone that they cut this silliness out and just live the life they have been given. Dreams are for rich people...not them.

The next morning Mac's sad face almost makes Holi cave and phone Austin. She needs to get tougher, harder. She can't let this make her weak. Being weak on these streets is a death sentence. She needs to toughen Mac up too, teach him to survive.

"Mac, we can't go back to Austin," Holi says and Mac looks at her like he wants to scream, to throw a tantrum. but then he stills his face and looks down to his hands that are playing with a loose thread on his sleeping bag.

"I know Holi," he says and sniffles, it dam near breaks Holi's heart. She wishes she could be better for them. Give them a better life. But she is as worthless as her parents and has managed to do the one thing she has tried her whole life not to do... break them.

"It's unfair. We are not bad people, Holi. Why don't we get..." Mac whispers and trails off. He does not need to finish what he is saying, Holi knows. She leans over and pulls Mac onto her lap then wraps her arms around him. "You are a good boy Mac, a Kind boy. I need you to be tough and strong, but never to lose who you really are. Can you do that for me?" Mac nods, "I can try Holi, for you I will try," he says.

"That's my boy. Now, I have a job interview today and I am guessing if I get it they will want me to start straight away. We need to pack up, get food and find a new spot."

It's a rule, the only good piece of advice she has used from her parents. Never stay in the same place for more than one night, keep moving. That way no one can plan to rob you by watching your movements and it's harder for someone to find you.

They wake Bell up who immediately starts crying and asking for Austin. It's going to take her a few days to stop doing that and Holi's heart hurts every time Bell looks down the street in the hopes that Austin will be there. When they are almost finished packing up she feels a tap on her shoulder.

She turns around and finds a wide-eyed and very scared looking Rose.

"Holi, I have been looking for you all weekend."

"I was busy. What's up Rose? What has gotten you so freaked out."

"Chuck..."

Holi's blood runs cold at the mention of his name. She absent-mindedly runs her hand over the long purple scar on her thigh.