A thousand bad times - Post Malone

Eighteen

Holi knows she should just stay down. Let Chuck cool off. But she won't, if she goes down she is going down after she has no fight left in her so she reaches up and grabs hold of the kitchen counter then pulls herself up ignoring Chuck's warnings to stay down.

She turns around and leans on the counter once she is up and looks at Chuck, "fuck you," she whispers. Chuck comes closer, "what did you say?" he challenges. Holi stands a little straighter and looks him dead in the eye, "I said...fuck you."

Chuck raises his right hand high in the air and Holi forces herself not to flinch, to show him no fear. He brings his hand down and slaps her hard against the face. She feels her eardrum burst and she can taste the blood in her mouth. She wants to cry out in pain but she will never give Chuck the satisfaction so she clenches her jaw and holds it in.

Chuck then leans over her and rests his hands on the kitchen counter on either side of her. "Come on darling, let's stop all this fighting and just makeup already," he says. He lifts his right hand and touches the top button of her jeans, "don't do it, Chuck," Holi warns. Chuck snorts and pops the top button open. Holi starts feeling around on the kitchen counter blindly. Her fingers connect with what she hopes is a handle of a knife.

And as Chuck slowly starts to pull down the zip of her jeans Holi raises the knife high above her head and slams it down as hard as she can on Chuck's left hand that is still leaning on the kitchen counter. Chuck screams turning to his hand and Holi takes to opportunity to get away from him and run to the door. She expects Chuck to be hot on her heels but as she opens the door she can still hear Chuck screaming at her from the kitchen.

She stops and peeps back into the kitchen. She sees that she has managed to impale the knife through Chuck's hand and ultimately nail his hand to the kitchen counter. Chuck is trying not to tug on it too hard as it's very painful. "Holi, please. Don't leave me like this," he says, his voice giving away how painful his hand must be.

"I did warn you, Chuck," she says. Holi gets his phone and puts it just out of reach, "phone one of your boys to get you free," she says. "No. No, please Holi, don't leave me like this," he says. He looks like he is in a lot of pain. Holi is not sure what to do. Her first thought is to run as far away as possible, run back to Austin...he will keep her safe.

So she turns and runs, she runs to the door, she runs down the passage and over the drunken and drugged-up bodies. She runs out the front door and out onto the street. She can hear Chuck screaming her name from the apartment window. She sees Janet slumped under a dim street light - high again. She did not get far.

She takes a step to start running again but then stops in her track. She can't go to Austin because she is supposed to be protecting him. If she goes back Chuck will have a field day...both Austin and Mac will be doomed. She is scared to go back inside to Chuck now too, she has pissed him off...pushed him over the edge. But she will do anything for Austin even if that means sacrificing herself.

She turns and trudge's back to the apartment and walks quietly back into the kitchen. Chuck is still screaming her name but goes quiet when he sees her. He looks at her with big eyes, "you came back for me?" he asks. Holi nods and picks up a kitchen towel, "I did,' she says quietly, "why?" Chuck asks then squeals when Holi touches the knife, "because I was wrong Chuck. I am supposed to be with you," she says then yanks the knife up with all her might. Chuck cries out in pain like a baby and Holi quickly wraps his hand in the kitchen towel.

"I lost my way, Chuck. I am so sorry...please forgive me. I will stay," she says. Chuck scowls at her, "I don't know. You have hurt me very badly, Holi," he says. Holi nods then tugs him to the couch, "I know and I am so sorry. Please let me make it up to you. Tell me what you had planned for me and I will do it," she says, sitting him on the couch. She gets him painkillers and wraps his hand upright to stop the bleeding.