the line between love and hate » 𝐃.𝐃.

𝐗𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

The whole week, my eyes are a little dizzy, and my head is pounding like hell. I can't feel my legs, and I'm not sure if I'm even walking. Also my stomach is hurting and I feel nauseous. The urge to puke comes back every time I move a little too much. Damiano is gone, to the studio and only Lavinia is at home. I told her that I'd go out for a walk, which wasn't an amazing idea.

And the next thing I feel are my legs giving up, and only a second later, I feel my head touching the hard ground, and unbearable pain spreads in my whole body. The little rocks aren't very comfortable. I try to receive some power, too scream, but I can't move, I can't see, and than I disappear into sleep.

D A M I A N O:

The sound of my best friends playing their instruments while I get a much inspiration for lyrics, is actually a pretty good feeling for in the early morning. "Damiano, focus!", Thomas snaps, throwing his bottle of water against me, causing me to whine in pain. "Yes I'm sorry where were we?", I ask, playing with the microphone. "We were doing nothing yet", Victoria chuckles, tunes her beige colored bass guitar.

"Where are you with your mind?", the drummer asks, and I stare at the ground. "Last night, Chiara left to the balcony, and when she came back, she ran into the bathroom, where I heard her puke", I mumbled, and a deadly silence rushes through the room. "Oh", Victoria says, playing awkwardly with the bass on her lap. "Yes oh, I'm going to call her", I say, sounding more annoyed than I wanted to. I swallowed, before leaving the studio. It isn't the first time I noticed something was wrong with her. The past week, her forehead is burning, but her face looks white, like she was dead.

Nervously, I waited for Chiara to pick up, but nothing happened, my phone stayed ringing. The longer it took, the more nervous I got. When her voicemail came, my heart raced like hell. Chiara always picks up her phone, like always, even when she is showering. My finger are shaking and I search for Lavinia in my contacts, since she is home with her. Luckily, she picks up immediately. "Is Chia there?!", I snap, kicking with my feet against the wall. "Wait what is going on?", a confused voice come out of Lavinia her mouth. "Is she there?!", I snap again, earning an annoyed sigh from the girl on the other line. "Relax, she is going out for a walk", she mutters, but I'm still not calmed down.

"Than why isn't she picking up her phone", I ask, sounding only more scared. "Uhm, maybe because it's laying right next to me. Dam what is going on?", she asks, and I sigh, a little relieved. "Uhm no nothing, I'm sorry", quickly I hang up the phone, and walk back towards my friends, who look quiet and confused at me. "She is out for a walk, or at least, that is what Lavinia says", I say, and all three sigh in relief.

"Can we maybe go home, I just need to know she's fine", I ask, mumbling, when I felt Victoria hugging me. "Of course dam", she says and I grabbed my coat, rushing towards the car, followed by Thomas, Ethan and Victoria. As soon as the last door of the black car closed I started it. And although I knew she was walking, I needed to know she is feeling okay. Yesterday night, why didn't I do something, I think she really felt bad and she also really looked sick. "Why am I overreacting, nothing is wrong probably?", I ask, raising the speed of the car.

"No dam, you are worried about her, about how she's feeling, that is not overreacting" Thomas says, smiling at me. The house came closer. We live outside of town, with only a few neighbors. It's an very old fashioned house, with walls covered in roses, but a very modern inside. The driveway is long, it almost takes two minutes to arrive at the house, but I'm driving so fast right now.

With one movement I make the car standstill. "Dam- oh my gosh!", Ethan realizes it before I do, but his words make me run out of the car. About twenty five meters away from me, she lays on the ground. I don't even close the car door, but I just run, run as fast as I can, followed by my friends. Chaira lays on the ground, in a not comfortable way, on her arms are wounds from the sharp rocks on the ground. "Oh my gosh", Thomas yells, before I kneel down on the ground, next to my girlfriend. "Dang it Chia!", I snap, squeezing in her face, her skin is pale, and I feel Victoria kneeling next to me.

The bassist grabs her wrists and sighed in relief. Wide-eyed I look at her, hopeful. "She has normal heartbeat", Victoria smiles, but it won't ease me. If Chiara was okay, she wouldn't be laying unconscious on our driveway, and she would just welcome me home with a million kisses. "Chia please, chia baby please", I beg her, kissing her hand, which is covered in scratches. "She needs to got to the hospital", I say, hiding my face in her hands, while Ethan stands hopeless behind us. My cheeks fill themselves with tears, but I know I have to safe her. "I'll call", Thomas says, but Ethan stops him. "We are way faster if we drive her", Ethan says, and Victoria and Thomas both nod.

With the help from Ethan, I lift up Chiara, carrying her towards our car. On the black leather back seat of the car, I lay my girlfriend down as careful as I can, with her head laying against my chest. The fact that she is still unconscious makes me more scared than ever. "Please drive fast Vic", I say, crying in Chiara her hair, squeezing in her hand. The bassist takes my place behind the steering wheel of the car, and starts the car, turning around. "Chia, baby, listen to me if you can, come back to me please", I say, crying only harder, while Thomas is holding her other hand.

The way towards the hospital seems to take ages, every minute, every second passes slowly, every time I think about the worst scenario that could happen, I press Chiara closer towards me. She should have told me what was going on, especially when I asked her if she was okay every time I felt her forehead burning. "Almost there", Victoria says, driving faster than allowed, but who cares right now. My hands move towards Chiara her forehead, to feel it, and although she is white like she died, she is burning and her forehead is hot as fucked. "Wake up baby, please", I whisper in her ear, sobbing quietly. 

***

ow no, poor Chiara