charlie cox ; imagines

less alone

matthew knew that there was something off with you as soon as you stepped into the office that day. he could hear your heart pound against your chest as if it was trying to knock an opponent in a boxing match out. your heart sped when foggy & karen asked about your life outside the office. you would tense up, stutter & stumble when you tried to answer their questions, hoping you were fooling them with your happy little lies about the nice comfort of your home, when it was far from that— but it's not like it mattered any way.

you would have close to five cups of coffee a day, contributing to the speed of your heart, but also your anxiousness & poor sleep. matthew could hear your small nervous breaths from his office with the door completely shut. your breathing pattern seemed like a mystery to the murdock boy due to its irregularities, he's never known someone with a breathing pattern like yours. your breathing would sped like the movement of a treadmill or it would slow down; as if a concrete block was sitting on top of your lungs, compressing your chest.

your vocabulary also changed, which didn't seem to catch foggy or karen's eyes. you would answer questions with short replies or even shorter sentences, never going into depth. you would rarely ask questions or speak to anyone unless you were spoken to. you preferred to give small glances, waves & facial acknowledgments of peoples presence instead of speaking, unless it was matthew. your quiet demeanour did worry foggy, but you were quick to assure him you were just tired, stressed, working too hard, out of it, or in need of break.

matthew had also had caught on to your break routine. everyday at 3pm sharp, you would leave the office & head outside for a smoke. you always stood beneath the window that leads to the inside of matthews office window, so he could always smell the scent of tobacco reach his nose, along with the scent of your laundry detergent, so he knew it was you. he would sometimes hear small whimpers come from you & hear you try to pull yourself together before returning back inside, making matthew more & more worried.

the smell of copper would also appear in the air some days, mainly when you winced quietly to yourself or muttered annoyances. this recent discovery left matthew feeling uneasy, because he did not want to jump to the conclusion that first came into his mind— he didn't want to believe you would think of hurting yourself. with a plan in his mind waiting to be hatched, he waited until the end of the day when karen & foggy left. he wanted to be one-on-one with you, hoping you'd open up to him.

once the office door closed, you released a breath you didn't realize you were holding & leaned back in your office chair, believing you were finally alone— forgetting matthew was still in office.

"fuck..." you mumbled before resting your head on your desk, arms creating a protective shield from everything else, a safe space if you will, for you to let out a few emotions before heading out.

your silent cries were heard by matthew & he couldn't possibly take it any longer, so he immediately stood up & left his office, heading to your desk cautiously.

"y/n?..." matthew said in a soft tone, not wanting to make you jump at his presence.

the care that was present in matthew's voice made you feel the tiniest bit comforted. you sniffled before looking up at him, flushing your cheeks in slight embarrassment.

"hi matt" you whispered, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your shirt before you let anymore tears fall.

he moved closer to you, pulling a chair to sit next to you at your desk, his full attention being put onto you in that moment & you felt like you were on a stage.

"i just wanted to check on you to see how you're doing" he said carefully, trying to ease himself into the conversation that would unfold.

despite him not being able to see, you gave him a small smile & mustered up all the energy you had left to talk.

"i'm okay" you said simply, not letting matthew in so easily.

scooting his chair closer to you, you took a deeper look at matthew & noticed that he looked genuinely concerned about you, & that made you feel guilty. the dim light in the office made his features look soft & sharp at the same time, but it also made the atmosphere feel less uptight, especially with the sound of the air conditioner humming softly in the back.

"that doesn't sound very convincing" he said, making you let out a chuckle to ease the mood.

"it's not that big of a deal, promise" you tried to assure him so he would get off your case.

"well, uh... it's important to me that you're okay & i just... i think you need a friend right now" matthew expressed to you, placing a hand onto yours, holding it lovingly in hopes to prove that he really cared.

"i..." you said, trying to figure out to word your thoughts. "i don't want to burden you with my personal stuff, you have more important things to worry about" you told him, despite every bone in your body wanting to open up & let every emotion out.

giving your hand a squeeze, matthew spoke softly. "you will never be a burden to me & you're just as important to me as everything else. i care about you y/n"

you felt yourself begin to tremble slightly at his words & when you opened your mouth to speak, you could tell your pent up emotions wanted to burst out after being bottled up for so long.

"there's just so much going on, i'm just a little afraid to open up" you said in a whisper, feeling your eyes gloss over & your chest start to hurt.

"i know it's scary but, i want you to feel like you can come to me whenever you need someone. i'm here for you y/n, always" matthew said sincerely to you, feeling your body shift closer to his.

standing up from his chair, matthew pulled you up when you felt yourself begin to let go & he held you to his chest. his arms held you protectively, making you feel safer than you've felt in days. the way he held you made you finally let your walls down & open up to him slowly.

"everything hurts" you whimpered to him, holding his blazer tightly with your hands as you began to quietly cry into him.

your cries & aches only made matthew hold you closer, whisper more caring & loving words & wish he could take your pain away.

"i'm right here. you're safe with me" matthew told you softly, kissing your head every few moments, reminding you that you didn't have to feel alone.

matthew knew that he wouldn't be able to fix how you felt in just one night, but the was more relieved to know that this was a starting point for you to get better.

& for the first time in a while, you began to feel less alone.