He never understood. He always saw himself as just another guy. Just another weekend toy. Just another piece of trash waiting to be thrown out. He'd never felt appreciated. He'd always been brought down by everyone. Everyone had something. Parents made him feel like shit about everything. Friends had better lives than him and tended to talk about their happiness a lot. He'd always been looked down on. He'd never felt good about himself. What did he want? He wanted someone to make him feel special. He wanted someone who made him feel like the moon was something they made in their workshop with their own hands. He wanted someone who didn't bring him down. Someone who he could look at and say "Wow. That's mine." That's all he ever wanted out of life. Then he found Them. He'd been in a hole so long he almost missed it, but he found what he was looking for. They made him feel special. They made him feel confident. Anywhere he went he wouldn't need to dress up. Why? Because he knew that he already had someone so he didn't need to try and impress anyone else. They gave him the feeling that they had built the moon just for him. And he loved Them. He carefully crafted every star into the sky with the utmost perfection because he wanted the stars to be like Them. Perfect. Because he saw nothing but perfection in Them. The world saw Their flaws, and he saw perfections. Everything about Them made him fall more and more in love. He wanted nothing more than to walk and hold Their hand. He wanted Them so bad that he would cry himself to sleep most nights because he wasn't allowed to see Them. He would cry and cry until he'd pass out. That is until finally he couldn't cry anymore. Not "he just stopped crying," no. He wanted to cry. It helped so much. But no years came. He'd stare into a wall with his eyes burning from the want. But nothing came. All he wanted was Them. And Them wanted him. But someone else was making decisions for him. Why? Because they didn't like him. They hated him. They looked at him with nothing more than disgust. He'd always been a disappointment to that someone. He'd never grown up to be what they wanted. He'd been nothing but a disappointment and he knew it by the endless looks of disappointment that they would give him on a daily basis. But somehow he didn't care. E knew that as long as he had Them he'd be okay. As long as he could see Them in weekends, he thought. Then that someone interfered once more. By taking that away. He had nothing now. Nothing to make him feel special at all. Up until he'd met Them Ed needed the reassurance of a pill or cigarette to feel special. But with Them it was different. They mad him feel special with just a glance. Just a quick smile and his day was made. He now only has one way to receive this feeling. And he feared that that someone was going to take that away next. But if they do, he won't survive. He can't live without Them. They mean to much to him. He couldn't even handle a few days without seeing Them. He doesn't want to end it all. But of that someone takes anymore, he will have no other choice.
