21 JUMP STREET LOVE WITH TOM HANSON

CHAPTER 25: STARTING OVER

Sydney called Judy in the morning.  She was a little upset. Judy said "Sydney if you are having doubts about hanging out alone with Tommy it's ok to tell him that."  Sydney said "I want to I just I'm afraid he is going to figure how I'm still in love with him. I am going to get hurt again aren't I."  Judy said "Sydney there is always that risk. When you give your heart away. But  if you don't take that chance won't you be hurt anyway."  Sydney said "yeah."  Judy said "just go slow, you need do what is best for you ok. If you are too uncomfortable alone with him, then it's ok."

Sydney told her all about how she had called Tom and he thought she was in danger and rushed over didn't even put a shirt on.  Judy laughed. 

After Sydney finished her call with Judy Tom called.  Sydney waited to answer, but finally said "Hey Hanson"  He said "good morning"  She said "how are you"  He said "I'm doing great."  Tom sounded excited and happy. Which made her feel bad because she was thinking that she was going to tell him she didn't want to see him today.

Tom said "But I take it you aren't"  Sydney said "What"  Tom said "I can read you Sydney, even when I can't see you, so you changed your mind that's ok"  Sydney said "Tom."  He said "it's fine Sydney."  Sydney said "It's just I'm scared. I can't get hurt Tommy"  He said "I know that and I promise you I'm not going to hurt you.  But I see you can't trust me"

Sydney said "So did you decide what you thought we could do today"  Tom said "Actually yes, but I guess if you're not ready it's fine. Totally. I don't want to push things or move too fast."  Sydney said "What did you want to do"  Tom said "Well I thought I could take you to Church"  Sydney was caught off guard.  She went every Sunday and always had, to Sunday School adult class and to the service, but Tom would never go with her.  Tom believed but spent a lot of time mad at God for letting his father be killed, letting so much evil be in the world, while good men are killed.  Tom was angry about it, and had doubts because of it.  So Tom wanting to take Sydney to church was huge.  Sydney had wanted him to go, had asked if he would go with her, but he refused every time.

Sydney said "What did you say Hanson"  Tom said "I knew that would probably shock you"  Sydney said "You really want to come to church with me" Tom said "yes I think that I should start going. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I talked it over with my mom Christmas, and I think it's time I get back to going to church. I mean you know I told you I used go to Sunday School and Church back home until "  He stopped.  Sydney said "Until your father was murdered"  Tom said "Right"

Sydney said "Tom you sure you know you don't have to do this"  He said "I think I need to. I mean Sydney maybe if I would have went when you were asking me to our friendship wouldn't have been destroyed.  I have ran from God. I have cussed him. I have been so hurt by him. Blamed him for letting my Dad be taken from me and my mom.  I've been angry. Doubted.  My mom begged me to start going again, my mom begged me to face my anger, but I refused. I was stubborn, and wanted to stay mad, and I self destructed and blew up the best thing to ever happen to me, and I lost you, and I may never get you back."

Sydney was so touched and was crying so she wasn't able to talk.  Tom said "hey I'm sorry I will let you go ok. Have a good day"  Sydney said "Tommy don't hang up. I'm sorry I was just taken by surprise. I had tried for a whole year get you to go with me"  Tom said "I know."  Sydney said "Tommy I'd love it if you went with me, but you don't have to do this. I mean I'm committed to starting over with you, and I know it's going to be hard work to rebuild our friendship, and I'm scared to death you're going to hurt me again, I'm so afraid, but I'm willing to take the risk, so you don't have to go to church to get me to hang out with you."

Tom said "if you don't want me to go with you it's fine, but I'd like to start going with you."  Sydney said "I'd love that. So but Hanson um Harry goes>"  He said "I know that. That's fine."  Sydney said "Ok well I just if you were thinking it was going to be just us"  He said "No it's fine."  Sydney said "Did you want to go together or meet me just for church or"  Tom said "I can go with you to your class if you want, but if you'd rather I mean you're probably thinking I'm the biggest jerk and hypocrite huh"