I see you in the stars - Jegulus

Regulus Interval.

Hi guys!
I apologise for no chapters this week, I was sick - like couldn't even get out of bed and do anything sick - for this entire week. Which sucked, because I couldn't even open my laptop to right anything without feeling like I was going to throw up.
I only started feeling better on Friday, and it means that chapter 7 isn't quite ready (I'm hoping Sunday, Monday night? No promises though), however, I thought you guys could use this. It's small, but I hope you like it as much as I do:))

Also, I hope everyone in the UK is okay, Storm Eunice was... an adventure to say the least - I hope everyone is safe!

Enjoy!

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Do you remember?

He felt his eyes on him. Always.

In the halls.

On the Quidditch pitch.

In the Great hall.

In their clearing.

Do you remember, Regulus?

It was the only thing he could feel.

It would consume him.

Until all he felt was James.

When we were younger.

He felt his eyes on him.

His hazel eyes.

Ripping apart those walls and layers he fought so hard to keep up.

That blank expression he cast. So no one would know any better.

And it would work. No one knew. Until their first night together.

He could see right through him. See him for the broken boy that he was. Used. Casted away.

You used to adore me.

He felt his eyes on him.

Staring at him, when there were so many beautiful people around them.

He saw the beautiful redhead, how she looked with those green eyes, with fondness and liking.

He saw all those people. Those beautiful people. Looking at him.

But he didn't even notice.

James just stared at him.

Regulus, who was broken. Used. Casted away.

Ugly.

You used to listen to every word I said.

He remembered every word the older boy said to him.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you always out here Black?"

"You were beautiful."

"You were so fucking beautiful."

"I know. But I can do difficult. I'm happy with difficult."

He remembered every smile.

Every touch.

It had ingrained in his brain.

He wouldn't be able to get it out even if he wanted to.

He didn't ever want to.

You used to be good.

He who was broken. Used. Casted away.

Felt so utterly at peace when he felt his eyes on him.

He didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve that peace.

Do you remember?

"Regulus."

"That's the only one I remember."

He remembered James saying those words.

Regulus felt so many emotions at once. Consuming, overwhelming him.

Because he wasn't the one that anyone remembered.

He wasn't important to anyone.

He wasn't the only one.. To anyone.

It disappoints me.

He was playing a dangerous game.

Because he knew James would leave.

If not at that moment.

Soon.

Soon.

They all left.

You disgust me now.

But Regulus knew.

Even if James left.

He would wait for him.

Every single day.

Like he waited for his brother to return and save him.

Every day.

You completely, and utterly, disgust me.

I cannot stand to look at you.

But James was good.

James was good,

And Regulus was bad.

He said that over, and over again in his head.

When they met.

When they talked.

Whenever he felt his eyes on him.

James was good, and he was bad.

He didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve those looks.

You have become so.. ugly. Where is he? Where is my baby brother?

He would take the dark mark.

He was going to do it.

He would join the Dark Lord and prove everyone right. That he was bad.

And he would leave James behind.

Because the inside of him was so dark.

So ugly.

He should have something to match on the outside.

I'm leaving. I'm leaving soon. I'm leaving you. And you'll rot. You'll rot, and wither away in this damn house. With them.

Regulus remembered a quote.

A quote from one of his favourite books.

And I won't mourn you. I won't be sad. Because I genuinely do not care about you anymore. You hear me? I. do. Not. Care.

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it."

And I want you to remember that..

Regulus couldn't comprehend it.

He couldn't understand that feeling of one person having that much power over anyone.

But then he felt James' eyes on him.

You, Regulus, are no longer my brother.

And that feeling was all too familiar.