I see you in the stars - Jegulus

Chapter 10 - Regulus

Regulus' POV:

"'Cause you brought out the best of me

A part of me I'd never seen."

Regulus was eight years old when his Mother first used the cruciatus curse on him.

He couldn't even remember what the reason was, having blended together with all the other times over the years.

But he did remember the pain. He couldn't ever forget the pain. It was like every single nerve in his body was on fire, carrying on long after Walburga was finally through with him. Regulus passed out that first time.

He's gotten used to it now.

Regulus never told his brother. At first, it was because he was terrified Sirius would attempt to kill their Mother if he found out - and he would be hurt, worse than hurt, in punishment for it.

And as time passed, and Sirius drifted away from him, Regulus never told his brother simply because he thought Sirius wouldn't care.

Maybe he deserved it. His punishment for not being as good as Sirius. Knowing that he was better than Regulus could ever be.

He probably deserved all that pain.

Regulus idolised Sirius. Would always idolise him. Always love him, always wait for him to come back. Even though it had been two years, and he never had.

They were inseparable as kids. Regulus would follow Sirius around like a lost puppy, practising walking around like him whilst trying to keep up with his older brother's much longer legs.

They slept in the same bed until Regulus was six, only stopping because Walburga thought Sirius was too bad of an influence. Regulus cried a lot when Sirius told him, and that was when Sirius first got his cruciatus curse from their Mother, from getting into an argument defending his baby brother.

Regulus also wouldn't ever forget that.

His brother's screams.

Caused by him.

When they went to their home in France, Sirius would sneak them out, to go to their spot in the field, or to visit parts of the muggle world. They would go to museums, art galleries, or simply walk around the streets. That was Regulus' favourite time. He would pretend they were muggles, living together on their own in one of the French townhouses. No parents who would abuse Sirius, and eventually abuse him too. And then they'd sneak back to their chateau, and sleep in the same room, still giddy from their adventures.

There were times after Sirius had left, that Regulus would sneak back into his room, and sleep in his bed. Like he did when he was a kid.

It didn't smell of him anymore.

Regulus couldn't remember what he smelled like.

So many things he forgot. Too many things he remembered.

Like he wouldn't forget Sirius' last words to him. The sheer disgust on his face whilst he said those words.

Do you remember?

Regulus remembered too much.

He remembered Sirius coming back in the summer after his first year. It had been a year since Regulus had last seen him, for Sirius had decided to stay for the Winter. It had made Regulus sad, but he didn't complain. He never complained about Sirius. Regulus remembered his brother trudging up the stairs, face sullen and dark - a face he wore often around that house, but one Regulus never thought he would see directed at him. He had run up to his big brother, so excited to no longer be alone.