The day I found you annoying

Chapter 19: Words

Suddenly my nervousness took the best of me. I thought I could be brave and talk freely about what I felt, but it was more difficult than that. My heart thumped hard in my chest, my mouth dry.

I didn't know if I had the possibility of ruining the friendship between us or if it was already ruined. I didn't know if one day I could forget my feelings and leave it all behind.

My relationship with Justin was the most important thing that had ever happened to me. Since I moved here I felt alone and disoriented. As if I didn't belong anywhere. As if I was a red piece in a puzzle full of blue ones.

But somehow, my friendship with Justin worked. We understood each other, even if we were very different. Sometimes we were even opposites. He was quiet, a little insecure and distrustful but straightforward, smart and loyal. I was bubbly and confident, sometimes too annoying and I wasn't exactly the smartest person in the room. However, I was affectionate and compassionate, qualities that really contrasted with Justin's, but qualities that he found comfort in. Qualities that Justin needed just as much as I needed his. We both fit together in a weird an marvelous way.

And I didn't want to lose that.

"About what?" Justin asked slowly in response to my question, as if he wasn't really listening. He sat down, distracted.

"Why are you acting so weird around me? Is it because I said I like you?" I waited for a second but he didn't respond. He seemed uncomfortable and nervous, his eyes wandering around as he bit his lips. I sighed, looking down at my feet. "I- I didn't mean to ruin everything, I just... I had to tell you. I can't help it, you know." I glanced up at him with a sad smile.

"It sucks you don't feel the same way and I get it, I really do." I nodded. "I'm a mess and we've been friends for six years already, I know it's weird, but... please Justin, I don't want it to change what we have." My breathing was starting to become heavier, my throat tightening. "May- maybe my feelings can change, maybe it's just a stupid crush, I don't know. I-I'm really sorry." I licked my lips.

Justin was frowning, staring at his hands that were fidgeting with the hem of his navy blue T-shirt. He was a little tan due to football practice and I couldn't help but admire his beauty. His skin contrasted with his green eyes, making them brighter. His blonde curls shone with the golden rays of the sun, already setting out the window.

"Why do you think I'm no good for you?" He raised his eyes, meeting mine. They looked hurt.

"I- I didn't say that." I frowned.

"Yes, you did. It- it hurt me." He pressed his lips together. I frowned and he kept on talking. "You said I'm a player, and that I'd hurt you."

I gave him a pointed look. "But you are. You..." I looked around, trying to find the words.

"What?" He asked impatiently, sitting up a little straighter.

"I just... I said that 'cause you act that way. You make out with girls you don't like and then you forget about them. You just lead Lexie on so you could fuck her. You don't even-"

"I didn't do it." Justin cut me off, shaking his head as he leaned a little bit forward.

"You didn't do what?" I asked, already knowing what he was referring to, waiting to see if what I was thinking was true.

"I didn't have sex with her." He clarified.

"Oh." I cocked my head, my fingers meeting my lips, brushing them slowly. "You didn't?"

He shook his head. "No."

I swallowed. "Why?" I asked slowly.

Justin stared into my eyes, then looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, letting it all out as he blurted out, "because I hadn't stopped thinking about you. Your words, your face, your eyes, everything."

I remained quiet, not quite understanding if he was blaming me. He really looked hurt, his fingers still playing with his shirt. His eyes suddenly met mine, looking nervous but exasperated. The tension in the air suddenly getting thicker.

"Colette." He swallowed. "I- I've liked you since the day I met you. And I... I hate that you think that way of me 'cause... 'cause all I try to do every day is make you happy. That's what makes me happy. Listening to you laugh, seeing your smile. It really bothers me when you're sad, it... it really affects my mood. Like physically, I don't know how to explain it."

My heart was beating strong against my rib cage. My palms sweating. Finding no reaction from me, Justin leaned back against the headboard of his bed.

"Those girls... those girls I made out with, I never really liked them. I just- I never thought you could like me, too. The fact that you think what you have is a stupid crush, it just... it just makes me glad I didn't do anything, because mine isn't, you know? I didn't wanna act on it 'cause I didn't want to ruin what we have."

"I think our friendship means more to me that it does to you." I whispered softly.

And I did, I really did. I always did. I was always the one looking for him, I was always the one that seemed like they wanted to spend time together. Sometimes I even thought I annoyed him, sometimes I shut myself off so I didn't overwhelm him.

"No, it doesn't." He smiled a wry smile, one he always gave me when he thought he knew more than I did. His eyes were still sad, but his voice was strong, as if he really meant what he was saying.

"I think it does." I muttered, licking my lips nervously.

"It-" he bit his lips frustrated, taking a quick breath, half an intake before continuing in a choked voice. "It doesn't." He looked at me straight in the eyes, they seemed darker, staring at me fiercely. "Colette, I'm- I'm in love with you, okay?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys! I know it's a short chapter but I think you've liked it hehe

I still haven't written the next chapter, so maybe it's gonna take me a little longer than these frenetic updates of the last few weeks

Thoughts about it? What do you think will happen next?

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to vote and let me know what you think in the comments ❤️