The day I found you annoying

Chapter 25: Laugh

4 months later

"It's fucking pathetic." Oscar said.

"I think it looks good, honey. If you like it, I like it."

My mom and the twins were behind me as I stared at myself in the mirror.

The thing was, I didn't know if I liked it.

I had been talking with Emma too much lately. She was into guys with piercings, tattoos and stuff and I didn't know why the fuck I did it, but now there was a small silver hoop piercing the lobe of my ear.

I thought it looked kind of cool on other people, I just didn't know if I belonged to that group of people.

Oscar and Oli left shaking their heads and laughing as my mom squeezed my shoulder.

"Coco's gonna like it."

I frowned, instantly getting red. I turned on the tap and washed my face, not daring to look at her as she smiled.

"I don't care if she likes it or not, mom." Looking down as I put the towel away.

"Oh, yeah." She nodded, her smile getting wider. "I know."

She got out of the bathroom and I decided to do the same. If I stared at myself any longer, I was surely going to regret it.

The walk towards Colette's house seemed shorter that day, despite my attempts of making it longer. I was even hoping she forgot that we were hanging out and that she wasn't even there.

I rang the bell and turned around quickly, too nervous to face whoever might open the door. I put on the hood on my hoodie so I could cover up a little.

"Hey, I was just about to call you." Colette voice sounded excited. I gave her a little smile, quickly facing her.

"Hey." She looked happy, too. "Are you ready?"

We made our way to the van, she didn't seem to notice the earring. Thank god it was cold for me to have the hood on and be normal. I was seriously fucking scared of her reaction and I didn't understand why. It's not like I was in love with her anymore, or that I thought, I was still confused, but I accepted that we were better off as friends, so it shouldn't matter as much what she thought about me. It was my life and Emma actually liked it, so I guess that was what mattered.

I was lying down beside Colette, too focused on the ceiling as we looked at my drawings over the years.

"I made that one after my brother Ben left. I remember it as if it was yesterday."

"Which one?"

"That one. The football helmet."

"You know." Colette sighed, turning her head to me. "People might think you're not affectionate, but you are. In your own way."

"Why are you saying that?" I asked, getting uncomfortable.

"It's obvious, J. Why do you think you made a football helmet?"

I frowned, staring at her in the eyes.

"Because football is what had always linked you to your brother. He left, so you wanted to make that for him." She said, pointing to the drawing.

I shrugged, not knowing what to say. Maybe she was right. I kept thinking about it, my eyes roaming all the drawings. Maybe I had been expressing my feelings through them in all these years and hadn't noticed.

"You know what?" Colette was looking at me, squinting her eyes as in deep in thought. "My parents would have liked you." She nodded and redirected her gaze to the drawings on the ceiling.