stories from the city; damon albarn

38-

It seemed that Hans Erlich had found a replacement hat, because by the time Chloe reached her seat in the audience, her brother was walking out and collecting the cheers and applause as if it was something he'd never seen before.

And he had a new fucking hat on. It wasn't one she'd ever seen before. So either the idiot had a replacement or he made a house call to his favorite designer to give him another one. Chloe didn't care to find out.

"This is probably the first time the show has started late due to reasons that didn't specifically involve me!" He jokes, finally sitting down at his desk. "You can blame the other part of me, or perhaps my sister Chloe for that." He says, partially joking, partially saying fuck you to her as the camera panned over to her in the audience.

"Got into a brawl over my hat. Or did it have to do with my guests for the night? I'm not sure." He says tsking. "For those of you unfamiliar, my darling little sister is lending me the British men of the hour tonight. One of these being the polished and fantastic actor- Mr. Ewan McGregor."

With that, he entered the stage, calmly walking over to his seat, a polite smile sitting on his face. However, he was quite more attentive towards Chloe seeing as he had a decent view of her from where he was sitting.

"Ewan! Attention's over here. We know,  Chloe's a pretty lass and all but my god, you're on my show here!" He teases.

Ewan playfully groans "you're killing me Hans. Thought you weren't supposed to call me out for that?"

"Someone's never seen my show before and it shows." Hans clucks. "Anyways. So, tell us about this new movie of yours. Trainspotting. Slated to come out later this in 1996."

"Er well, it's based off of a book by the same name. And I kind of play this complete scumbag of a character-"

"What's his name?" Hans interrupts

"Mark."

"Of course it's a bastard named Mark."

Cue the audience laughs

"Mark is a junk user. He lives in Scotland. He's got this group of friends that all have er well rather feisty and polarizing traits."

"Why should we see it?" He asks

"It's fucking funny." He says abruptly "Anyone with a brain can see that."

Hans smirks, and then says "Roll the clip."

With that, a clip of Trainspotting is entered for both the viewers at home and those watching in real time. It was Mark's scene about getting of Heroin. Pretty fucking nuanced.

When it fades back to Ewan and Hans, Hans looks slightly disturbed by what he had just watched.

"So this is movie that's apparently going to define Brittania?" He shakes his head before saying "My god, I was told this was about trains."

"Who told you that?"

"Noel Gallagher!"

Ewan playfully scoffs "That little shit! Of course he would."

"Is Oasis in the soundtrack? I've been told we've got some premiere artists appearing on this soundtrack."

He shakes his head "Well no- they were asked. But they said no. Because they thought it was about trains. But we've got plenty of other British bands."

"Name some. I've got to see if you know your stuff." He says shrugging

"Pulp for one, Elastica, Blur and oh, Iggy Pop."

"Iggy's not Britpop. That mother fucker's been around since my dad was relevant."

"He's still a musician-"

"Not a British one."

Hans continues on "But you've brought us to a very good point. Damon Albarn and Blur. I'm sure you're aware they're here tonight. This might be a personal question, but... are you Blur or Oasis?"

Ewan thinks about it for a good minute and a half. "Blur. The Gallagher's might massacre me for that one. But Blur."

"Scared to tell the truth?"

He shrugs

Hans snickers "That, was the defining question of your relationship. Honestly if you had said Oasis I would've been scared for you. Everyone knows that Chloe is a Blur gal."

"I'm a Blur girl." Ewan says "Don't you love going home to put Leisure on?"

Hans rolls his eyes playfully "Lucky for you, they're getting ready to perform right now. I think Coxon's being a bit of a pussy foot over his guitar though."

"Who's your favorite member?" Ewan asks "You've got to have a favorite if they're here."

"I thought I was supposed to be interviewing you!"

"It's just one question."

"Fine. Maybe I'm a Damon Albarn person. I like people with big personalities. That's all."

"Should I bring him out?" Hans asks

"Oh why don't we give him time for a proper entrance? He deserves that, being a proper pop star and all."

Hans rolls his eyes and looks over to his stage manager "Fetch Damon please."

And moments later, a very weary Damon walks out, looking like he's aged practically a thousand years.

He's a sweaty mess despite being in clean clothes, his best tee and jeans. His hair is messily styled and as he sits down, he flinches at the sound. This is perhaps when Hans realizes how bad this might actually be. And that perhaps his sister had been right.

"Damon! You're familiar with Ewan aren't you?"

Damon grimaces. "Does he have to be out here while I'm doing the fucking talking?"

"Why would we remove him? He's our other guest." Hans says trailing off.

Chloe is watching wide eyed in the audience. This was a fucking mess. It had actually been going so well. And now all three people on stage had simultaneously turned into deers in a headlight.

It made her want to curl up in a hall.

"You should remove him because he's a prick. All actors are." He mutters

"Do you refute that?" Hans asks Ewan, who raises his hands in defeat, not wanting to get involved.

"I mean, I can't speak for all of us."

Damon scoffs "Can we please get him off the stage? It's bad enough that I've got to see him around town. But now I have to treat him like a human? Oh please."

Hans sits quietly for a minute, fidgeting with his hands. "Why are you so mad with Ewan? This is the first time you've met? Right?"

God damn Hans and his ratings.

"Fuck no. The first time we met was in '95. Chloe invited him out with our group. And I didn't like him then, and I don't like him now especially now that he's fucking Chloe."

There's a silence.

Ewan kinda stares off awkwardly, looking in the opposite direction, not even knowing what to say, let alone do.

"Why are you so mad at that?" He asks "you've got a lass of your own! Justine Frischmann and she's a stunner, really you should be talking about her." Hans says

Damon rolls his eyes and has the decency to not answer.

Commercial break.

The minute a ten minute break is announced, Ewan practically storms off the set, trying to get the hell away from Damon and Hans.