stories from the city; damon albarn

58-

In the time Damon Albarn had run off, Ewan McGregor had returned to Chloe. "You ready to go? Or are we hanging around for a little while longer?"

Chloe looks around, trying to see where Damon had gone, or if he'd even started making his way back towards her. He hadn't. But she didn't want to leave without some sort of explanation for him, or without even seeing what he was planning.

"Not yet. I need to go do something really fast."

He doesn't seem alarmed by her saying this and shrugs, saying "just find me when you're ready to go. I'll be somewhere over here. Jonny's making his way back now."

She nods and then gives him a quick kiss before walking away completely, heading off into the depths of the backstage area, and then down and out onto the grounds, seeing as it seemed like the only logical place for him to have gone.

Naturally, she visited the Blur trailer first, knocking gently, before hearing someone telling her to come inside. So she did.

And found Damon Albarn sitting there with an acoustic guitar, sitting criss cross apple sauce on the floor, a grin across his face, as if he'd known that she'd eventually come after him.

"This is going to be a bit watered down.. Graham's folks are here, so I couldn't get him away for this." He says, strumming the guitar "Where's Ewan? Figured you would've brought him along. Seeing as it's what he sings to your kids and all."

She sits down across from him and says "This felt more personal. Besides, he's with Jonny Lee Miller at the moment, I'm just hoping neither of them get their hands on any liquor."

"Well, I'll get you back quick enough. Promise."
Damon says before looking down at the guitar, trying to make sure he remembered the words and chords to his own song. He felt calm. His hands weren't shaky. But something about this was still making him feel nervous.

"Tender, just for you. Stripped down and all." He jokes, and then starts to play, the familiar downstrum of the A chord slipping into Chloe's ears, listening to Damon sing quietly and carefully in front of her.

It made her think of when he'd used to write in her bed, occasionally demoing the tracks in front of her, looking for some sort of approval or whatever else.

Chloe was watching him, and solely him, listening to his delivery and focusing on his strum on the instrument. She missed getting to watch him make and create, play, whatever right in front of her.

Once he finishes and fades out, he looks up at her wide eyed, not expecting anything- but still wanting to feel something.

And there it was, the doe eyed Chloe, a few tears rolling down her face.

She laughs, somewhat embarrassed. "Your show has made me cry a lot tonight. You should be proud. That normally doesn't happen."

"Why?" He says honestly

"I don't know Damon. It makes me think. That's all. And you're just a very good songwriter." Chloe says blankly

"Thanks. It makes me think too. I think you ought to know that. When I was up there, I couldn't help but tie half of the songs to you Chlo. I don't know why. Even when most of them were written about other people."

"Most of them?" She questions teasingly "is there a Blur song about me, I've got to know."

He ponders the question for a moment before answering.

"Part of No Distance Left to Run. It's mainly about Justine. But there's part of you in it. I started avoiding you because it felt better than the hurt I'd end up accommodating if I stayed around and watched you, well nevermind."

"Go on. I won't be offended." She urges softly

"I didn't want to watch you and Ewan do what I'd wanted to do. It made, makes, me jealous. I get bitter."

She nods her head, sniffling a little bit. "It's understandable."

"Tender, has far more connection to you. There are lingering hints of Justine. But Chloe , I swear to god. That song was crafted for you to like it. You were all I could think about when I wrote it." He says softly

"I didn't know that."

She sits quietly for a minute

"I've never had someone say something more profound about me in my life. Are you sure you aren't just saying that?"

He shakes his head, placing the guitar down on the ground, "I don't have the decency to lie to myself, let alone you of all people."

The way he was talking, she could tell he was telling the truth. The tone in his voice was what told her that this wasn't some elaborate lie. He was being honest with her. The softness in his voice, the pauses, the way his eyes would dart around the room and then remain on her for minutes, was what told her that.

"Chloe, we need to talk about all of this. We've been doing this for way too long. I mean we're 31. Aren't we?"

She nods her head. Her birthday had occurred a few months ago. The celebration had been simple enough.

She went out to dinner with Ewan, left the kids with her father and spent the day accepting gifts, raising her kids and talking on the phone to those who'd called. It was a good memory.

"31 and we've been acting like children.." she says softly

Damon chuckles, moving closer and saying "I'm proposing that we give one another some proper closure..and we can deal with the future when we get there."

"I don't know about that."

"Come on, it's not like I'll start calling for you at your house."

"I have a husband- who I adore. And I've got two young kids. I don't want to fuck that up. We've already got a couple problems."

He frowns "You have problems? You two seem perfect. In all honesty."

She nods "We fight. But it's normal fighting, unless you somehow come up."

"That jealous?"

She sighs "It's not fair to characterize him as jealous. I would be too if this was happening with him. I mean it's been years and we're still doing this mess. He's worried. And I think he's entitled to those feelings."

"Does he have a reason for to be?"

Damon inches closer to her and Chloe says "I'm not sure..I'm still trying to figure that out myself. Because I love him, I really do. But you're always there- sitting in the back of my head."

He reaches for her hand where her wedding ring sits, examining it with ease

"It's a bit gaudy isn't it? A little too Hollywood?" He teases, pressing a kiss to her hand.

She doesn't tell him to stop.

"I didn't see you as the type to get married either. At least you kept your last name. I'd feel more guilty if you hadn't." And with that, he slips the ring off her finger, placing it on top of the table nearby and then intertwined their hands.

And then, he kissed her.

It wasn't a soft kiss, it was a deep one, it was as if he'd been waiting for years to do it. And honestly he had. In that moment he was reckless, forgetting everything he was risking and willing to lose in that moment.

Chloe kisses back a little too quickly before growing horrified. Just as he starts to get handsy, she pulls away, going to stand up and pulling her wedding ring back on and saying "Oh god. I need to go."

Damon frowns.

"Why? We were finally getting somewhere."

"I can't cheat on my husband. I can't." Chloe mutters "Oh my god. What the fuck Damon?" She says sounding scared, even though she'd been a willing participant. "You can't say a word about this to anyone. This was a mistake, mistake, you hear me?"

He rolls his eyes "We both know that isn't true." She wasn't paying attention though, and she ran out of the trailer, into the dark, desperate to get away from everything that had just happened