Dead End || Daryl Dixon

Chapter Twelve

I stood in the doorway as Rick sat next to Carol. Jim struggling to sit up, "you save a grave for me?" Jim choked out, I could tell the look on his face, he was scared and hallucinating.

"Nobody wants that" Rick frowned, Carol and I joining.

"It's not about what you want. That sound you hear, that's god laughing while you make plans."

"What I want, Jim, if god allows, it's to get you some help"

Jim started to cough and Rick grabbed the pan next to him, holding it out. He was coughing up blood which could not be a good sign. It never was.

"Watch the mangroves, their roots will guide the whole boat. You know that right? Amy is there, swimming. You mom, and your dad are there too" Jim said looking from Rick to me. "You'll watch the boat right? You said you would."

I could tell how upset Rick was getting. I know he regrets losing some of their people, but without guns, we would loose a lot more.

When I stepped out of the RV, Rick close behind me, Shane and Lori stopped talking. It was obvious they were talking about Rick.

I walked off towards daryl who sat under a tree, cleaning off his arrows. "Hey, riding with me?" He asked and I nodded, sitting down next to him.

"You alright?" He asked glancing over at me and I shrugged, "wish there was more I could do to help Jim" I admitted, putting my head in my hands.

I felt daryl slowly start to rub my back, "it's alright, I know if the world was any other way you woulda saved him."

I was shocked by his gesture but I'm sure he didn't really know how to act.

"I can't tell you how happy I am that you're alive" I breathed out, taking my head out of my hands and looking up at him. He slightly smiled. He pulled something out of his pocket and placed it in my hand.

A slightly crunched cigarette and a lighter. I smiled lightly, being a ways away from camp, I lit the cigarette.

I handed it over to Daryl who eagerly took it. "How do ya feel about the CDC?" He asked handing the cigarette back and I shrugged. "Don't matter, as long as it's safe"

"I've been thinking about ricks plan" Shane started saying and I looked up at him. "Now look, there are no- there are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that. I've known this man a long time."

I glanced over at Daryl, raising an eyebrow at him and he just scuffed, shaking his head.

"I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning"

Everyone was silent for a while but agreed. It was already starting to get dark so everyone split their ways. I followed daryl to his tent and we both stepped inside.

"Ya know, merle and I were only here to rob these people. Rob em blind in the night, be gone by mornin" he said taking his boots off and placing them outside.

"Why did you?" I asked, "merle started going on runs and shit, wanted them to think we were comfortable so they wouldn't see it comin. Last run he went on they cuffed him to that roof. I was gonna follow through with our plan, go lookin for em."

"Why didn't you?"

Daryl stayed silent for a second.

"I found ya, I tried like hell to find ya while it was startin. Didn't even think ta come by yer work."

"I prayed to go that you were alright" I said causing daryl to look up at me in surprise. After my mom passed away, I stopped believing. Didn't want to believe that god would do something so cruel to my dad and I.

"Ya did? Why?" He asked and I just shook my head, my cheeks burning slightly. I hate that I always back myself into this corner with him that I know I won't answer. I could never tell him that I was in love with him.

"I'm gonna get some sleep, we gotta long day tomorrow" I said curling myself into the sleeping bag and turning so my back was towards him.

I heard him huff but eventually lay down as well. I laid there for what felt like hours, when I turned over I looked over at daryl.

He was fast asleep, his elbow up over his eyes like he usually slept. He could never sleep if there was too much light.

"Can't sleep?" He asked lifting his arm and I furrowed my eyebrows, "no, I can't" I said still laying there.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked and I nodded. I pulled on a hoodie and slipped my boots on.

"Ya asleep in jeans?" He questioned looking down at the jeans I had and I shrugged. "It's not that bad."

We walked in silence for a while, just walking all around the camp. Stopping in front of the water I slipped my boots off and put my feet in the water. It was surprisingly warm.

I couldn't help but let my mind wonder to what happened to my dad. Was he bit? Did daryl have to put him down? Was he already put down when he found him.

"Hey girl, you okay?" He asked and I nodded, using the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe away the stray tears that fell. "Just thinking, about my dad" I said looking over at him, "com'ere" he said opening his arms.

I didn't argue and wrapped my arms around his waist and he pulled me into him, lightly rubbing my back.

It was weird having Daryl be so affectionate, something he has been the last couple of days. I wasn't going to fight it and I wasn't going to push it.

When I slowly rubbed my hands across his back I felt him tense. I know about the scars on his back, from the years of him coming over to my house. He would make excuses to try and stay longer at our house or would always come over the same time when he old man would get home from work.

My dad started putting two and two together when Daryl's was around 14, I was 7 at the time, completely oblivious but I knew whatever it was, it was serious. I often found my dad watching out the windows as Daryl would walk home. He cared for him, more than his own dad ever had.

"I miss yer dad too" I heard Daryl whispered, almost like he was reading my mind. I felt my eyes start to sting again, trying my hardest not to break down and cry in front of him.

I only nodded, keeping my head pressed against his chest.

"Com'on let's try to get some sleep before tomorrow" he said pulling himself away from my grasp. Thankfully it was dark or daryl would have seen my frown. It was almost like I craved him. Something that will always be one sided.