Jotaro Kujo (Part 4-5) - Become Us

13 Trying To Heal

As time went by, Jotaro seemed to get well, but it seemed to not be true. He wasn't the type to talk about his feelings much. He didn't say whatever was weighing on his mind. Not talking about his negative feelings did not correlate to him feeling better.

The last time I tried ask how he was feeling, the next day, he left to go on one of his Marine Biologist jobs. He left for about two weeks and barely answered my calls. He was never the one to make the call, but I was used to that.

This happened for a few months even. He would be gone for a couple of weeks at a time, then he would come back as if he wasn't gone for so long. It was like everything was fine, but it wasn't. It was hard to explain, but it worried me.

I was currently waiting for him to come back home. I was trying to set everything up to welcome him home. I was cooking a nice hefty dinner for both of us.

I heard the front door open.

I called, "Jotaro! Get yourself cleaned up! I'm almost done cooking."

The sound of footsteps came into the kitchen. Jotaro's sigh filled the room.

I turned, seeing him walk up to me. I greeted, "How was the trip?"

He answered, "It went well." He leaned against my side and relaxed. "How was everything?"

I said, "Everything was decent. I missed you though."

He replied, "Me too."

I turned and wrapped my arms around his waist. I kissed his cheek. "Ick, salty. At least, wash your face before eating."

He nodded. He pulled out of my arms and left to go to the bathroom.

I finished cooking up the food and placed it on the table.

When I was done, Jotaro came up to the table and said, "Thank you." He sat down.

I nodded.

And we began eating in silence. It was nice having someone to eat with after being alone for a couple of weeks.

About halfway through my plate, I asked, "How was the trip?"

He said, "It was fine. I studied this starfish that..." He explained a species of starfish and what he found. He explained in his normal stoic way of speaking, but I could see the glint of happiness in his eyes.

I listened despite not understanding everything. After he was done, I said, "Wow, you found quite a bit. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

He nodded and looked down at his plate that was almost empty.

"How are you doing?"

Jotaro didn't look up. He sighed, "Everything is going smoothly."

"Yeah," I said. "But what about you? You only really talk to me about technical things like work and what's going on, but not about yourself."

He said, "It's no big deal."

"Is it because of your family... Maybe Polnareff? About obtaining Heaven?"

"Everything is going fine in those aspects. Don't worry yourself about it," he said.

"How am I supposed to help you if you don't tell me anything?"

He said, "You've done well enough, sweetheart." He looked at me as to show the truth in his words. "You shouldn't worry too much about it."

"How am I not supposed to, when I care about you so much?"

He looked back down. "I... Don't really have the words for it."

I thought about what he said. He didn't have the words for the feelings he felt. He probably wanted to avoid it all together. It wasn't often he talked about his emotions. He may had told me how he felt about missing his daughter, but that was a rare thing. "Oh." That made sense.

"Um," I tried to think of something to validate his words. "That totally makes sense. Is there anything you need?"

"I don't know," he answered. "I got my work. I got you. What more can I need?"

"Safety." I listed. "Comfort. Love. Trust."

"Hm," was all he said before continuing to eat.

What that a 'hm' to agree with me? Or one of doubt?

I asked, "What do you feel like doing?"

"Sleep," he answered.

"Wanna sleep together?"

"When do I not want to sleep with you?" He answered, "I'll continue to sleep with you until you say otherwise."

Feeling flattered, I continued eating my food I'm silence.

"In fact," he continued. "I think I know what I want."

"What's that?" I said, perking up.

He looked to the side as his cheeks reddened. "I want you to hold me in your arms like you do when you're comforting me."

"Then that's what we'll do."

After cleaning up for the night, I was in bed with Jotaro. His back was against me as I had my arms wrapped around his waist. My forehead was resting against his back shoulder.

I called softly, "How are you feeling?"

"A little better," he answered.

"I wish I could do more to make you feel better," I said. "But if there's anything you need, tell me. You know I would do anything for you."

He reached for my hand and interfiled his fingers with mine. "I wish I knew, but I don't think there's anything you could do."

"Is it beyond me?"

Silence. "It's... a lot." He squeezed my hand.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay," I said quietly. "That's fine."

It was quiet once again. It was just our breaths filling the silence. Soon, he fell asleep and his hand loosened from mine.

I inhaled in and out. I was relieved that he was able to fall asleep.

He has been through enough, I doubt he wanted to talk about and relive it. The nightmare that I saw from his was still vivid in my memory from almost a year ago. If that was what he saw and more, I wouldn't want to think about it myself.

Forgetting about those past memories and the current problems in his life sounds like the best thing for now.

The next morning, I woke up to Jotaro facing me. His teal eyes stared at me. "Good morning."

I snickered.

He said, "What?"

I laughed, "How can you sound so unbothered in the morning? It's so adorable." I reached for his face and cupped his cheek. "How was your sleep?"

Jotaro said, "Relaxing." He placed his hand over mine and closed his eyes. It was like he was trying to take in this feeling.

"That's good." I leaned forward to kiss him on the nose.

He opened his eyes to stare deeply into my eyes. He whispered, "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Don't wonder," I said. "Just stay. You're doing a good job as you are."

A calm smile grew on his face.

Comfort was all I felt with him, and I bet it could be the same with him. We stayed in the comfort of each other's arms for a while.

Yes, his problems weren't solved with the listening, cuddling and kissing, but it was all I could really do. There wasn't more he was looking for, and I accepted that.

A/n: as you may or may not know, this is a prequel, so this won't have a definite happy ending. Just wanted to warn a bit. Also, I keep trying to go back to the original story to make sure I covered everything I mentioned.