第20.5章 - Jars

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This takes place shortly after the events in "Rika's Love" and before "Calm Before the Storm"

This takes place shortly after the events in "Rika's Love" and before "Calm Before the Storm"

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Hiyori liked cooking. It made her happy when the people she cared about enjoyed the food she made. It was also one of the few times she felt like she was just herself. She wasn't Gojo Hiyori that everyone looked up to and saw as this unbreakable force of strength. She wasn't Tsukuyo Hiyori who was blessed by the great Tsukuyomi no Mikoto and had the duty of continuing her family bloodline while maintaining balance and peace in this world. She was just plain old Hiyori.

Art was her escape from all of her responsibilities. It had been since she was five. Whether it was capturing a priceless moment through brush strokes on a plain canvas or cooking for and sharing a meal with loved ones, it was her escape from reality. That was why she liked it so much.

And that was also why she was cooking at five in the morning instead of sleeping.

Part of the reason was because Satoru had a long mission in Aomori and she didn't want him to go hungry since he forgot to eat sometimes when too caught up with work but it was also because she couldn't sleep. Her mind was wracked with endless thoughts that wouldn't stop.

There was no pause.

Had there ever been one?

The closest thing she ever got to a pause was when she bottled up her emotions but that didn't work that well, did it?

She always kept everything bottled up in a jar like the one she used to store the preserved peaches she was going to make mousse cake with later. The glass jar sat on the counter next to her while she chopped lettuce for some salad like it was mocking her almost. That it could keep it together even when it was overflowing with peaches and marinade but she couldn't.

It was always the same.

Ever since she was 10, it was always the same. Bottle it all up. Bottle up everything that hurt. Lock it in that vault in her head so she wouldn't have to feel it anymore. She wouldn't feel the pain and heartache that came with fleeting memories and broken promises.

Maybe that was also why she sucked so much at opening up jars. She couldn't even open her own figurative jar. That was why it cracked. That was why she ran to the place she hated and loved most to cry her eyes out. The place with bittersweet memories that ripped her heart to shreds and kept it together at the same time.

'The jar broke so make a new one and put everything back in'

There it was again. That voice in her head. She knew it was hers. It was the negative side of her that she always kept at bay but, after Suguru appeared again, it came back at full force.

'I don't think I can do that anymore'

'You've always done that. Just do it again.' It was tempting. It really was. To just bottle up all those emotions again was so tempting but she didn't want to.

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