Ms. try's to much

Chapter 7: feelings

Date: Wednesday February 23rd 2022
Not gonna be a diary entry format today. It's just gonna be me writing. I will let you know later if there is a update I guess but I am upset. Not at anyone just at how things turn out. I really do try. I do. But that's the problem. I try so hard and get my hopes up and then I'm disappointed.
So if you read my story yesterday I think I mentioned that I was gonna ask Cici to the library today in person, and well I did but he has to do choir practice with drayden at their house. I think they are more then just friends but he says he's still single but that only a Instagram bio. I'm still trying then. But I'm just filled with all types of emotions that make me want to cry. I'm so tired of life. I don't want to do it sometimes. I just want scream and cry till I choke on my tears and drown. If I die that's how I want to go out. Drowning. But yeah. I mustered up the courage and I asked him and he said he can't cause he has like a duet with them (drayden) or something. But we talked on our way to separate classes that we have for break. And he kept talking to me. I'm glad. It makes me feel better. It makes me feel less insecure. I had a person like that. They made me feel better about my weight and then they disappeared. I loved them. I guess the way I felt about them transferred to the way I feel about cici just 10x stronger. But yeah that's how it's going so far. I'll be back to continue writing later maybe. Until then bye!

-Asia
Update: day is going better. Me and Sylvia did not talk during pe but I still had a good time. After pe Spanish was ok and than after that I ran twords the office doors to catch up with drayden and Cici and I saw them outside. I quickly went outside and called for them. They seemed a bit surprised and like I interrupted something but I don't care this wasn't for me. And that's why I wasn't nervous. I had invited them to the library for Toby's birthday. Drayden said she couldn't cause she doesn't know if she's free and Cici said he might be free. Both looking at me was kind of awkward. Anyways after that drayden said she might be free and if she was she would text me. Huh surprising right? LMAOOO anyways I still like both of them. They are like both so perfect. Anyways I rushed to the library cause I had to see my aunt but I needed to drop off banana bread (not knowing today is national banana bread day till I got to the library, I kind of wish I stayed) and so I gave a bag to my friends. Sylvia and max were there and so was Ophelia. I gave them the banana bread then ran outside to my moms car and grabbed another bag and gave a bag to all the librarians. When I got inside Sylvia was giving the banana bread to everyone which was fine cause there was a lot and everyone said they loved it. Even Cici's ex gf Janet said she liked it so she grabbed two pieces. Then I left the library on a amazing note. I feel so much better now. I think I'm just pumped on the love drug (dopamine I think) so when I'm not around him or something it's like a addict not having their fix for the day. So I think it's best if I try to talk to him. It always ends well and making me happy. But yeah that's the update! Love you bye!!
-Asia