Ms. try's to much

Chapter 14: relationships

Date: March 31st 2022 Thursday.
Sorry for not updating but I have been busy.
So Wednesday (yesterday) nothing happened much but I hate school. But after school was ok. I had told my brother Wayne that he had to call me 2 pm cst and he didn't respond so I was hoping he would get it. Anyways later I was walking to the library as usual and cici came up behind our group and he scared the shit out of me. And we all laughed about that. Then we got to the library and cici offered me the corner seat then sat right beside me then he realized that him and ash and Lucas  had a assignment to do so he got up and sat by them. Then Beth the Liberian came over and told us we are doing a escape room instead of crafts. Cici, Ash, Lucas and me where gonna do it and the kid who I gave my discord to and his friends joined. Us being teens and them being middle schoolers and this escape room being collage level we did most of the work. I won't go to much into it cause that would be boring but yeah. Me and cici were really close (literally) to each other. So was ash though. At one point their arm was literally around me. And we finished the escape room with suckers. Then I sat down and cici sat down next to me again. I backed myself into the corner that way he didn't feel cramped. And he turned on Star Wars and we talked about it. We also talked about dawn of the dead (and I told him I watched it the first time with my brother who was actually fish but I couldn't tell him fish was my crush so yeah. But I couldn't help thinking about fish. The night before I actually had a dream about fish and it was amazing. In the end of the dream we cuddled and I could just feel the warmth and the comfort but yeah.) and I told him about how I fell asleep half way through. We talked about that for a bit and then he told me about his family history. (I won't get into that cause I don't want to share his personal information) but it was very interesting and we just kind of hung out together but half way through our conversation I got a call from Wayne. I told him to move immediately and had to get out of the very noisy library. Everyone seemed a bit concerned probably cause of the way I was hurrying out of there but I needed to. My brothers are #1 I'm not gonna let it go to voice mail. That's why I answered when I was in the library and then I told him to hold on while I try to hurry about outside and when I got outside I talked to him and we talked about how he was doing and how his kids are and his relationship status. And a third way through the conversation the kid who got my discord came outside and was just listening. After our conversation ended I rushed back inside cause I know cici would have to leave soon. As soon as I enter the through the doors I see cici at the computers talking to a friend and everyone is kind of scattered. I go back to the teen corner and sit down in my spot. Everyone asking if I'm ok. I say yeah and tell them my brother had called me. Cici is now in the teen corner and he's talking to the other people back there and then he sits next to me and asks me if I'm ok. Once again I say yes. Then we just sit and talk. I'm tired from the conversation though so I lay my head down and he asks if I'm ok again and I say yeah just tired and says everyone is tired. That's kind of it. That's all I'm gonna say cause I'm tired of typing but I get to hang out with drayden and cici today so I will update this later.

wow ok. well fuck. I'm so fucking stupid. I should have never talked to cici about drayden cause she comes up to me in third period and says to me "I dont know what you said to cici but thank you, he asked me out this morning".  YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL CICI TO GO FOR DRAYDERN. YOU LIKE HIM SO MUCH AND YOU ARE JUST GONNA LET HIM GO. YOU DUMB CUNT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? HONESTLY, DID YOU EXPECT HIM TO SAY HE WANTS YOU? HOW FOOLISH COULD YOU BE? dumb bitch.

so yeah. I had to go to the guidance counselors after third period. I spilled everything. everything that has been making me upset for the past few months came out. not even the counselor knew what to say. she said she was literally at a loss for words. so she's signing me up for the schools free therapy. 

wanna know the worst part? last week I had asked drayden to the library and of course she was gonna invite cici. so yeah they both came over and I had to act friendly but I hated every moment of it. when we got to the library it was fine. we all just sat and talked and I did a reading for them with tarot cards. then drayden had to leave as soon as it was cicis turn and he said he was gonna stay and guess what. he didnt. he left. Is he uncomfortable around me? whatever. I also asked drayden how she knew I talked to cici about her and she said " he called me and was like 'It took some convincing from Asia but I think i like you and want to ask you out'" IM GONNA MURDER SOMEONE. its ok. its whatever. its fine. I will just back to my unhealthy habits of liking older men. screw guys my age. fuck it. I got older guys who want me, i know i do. I still talk to one. so thats all. bye.

-Asia