I'll look after you

chapter ten

yesterdays events weigh heavy on my chest. I don't want to open my eyes because I'll know exactly where I am, it would mean that I did go to Aleks's house and embarrassed myself in front of him. heck, im supposed to be mad at him.

Instead im laying on his chest. I open my eyes. and look up at Alek. he looks in peace with his eyes closed and his breathing steady. the frown on his face is replaced by a calm, more relaxed expression.

I don't want to leave. if I could stay like this forever I would.

"good morning", he mumbles opening his eyes. I don't say anything but he holds me tighter. here, I feel safe. I don't wanna move.

"are you hungry?" he asks in his groggy voice. im surprised that he's not pushing me to tell him anything that had happened yesterday. He gives me the space I need. I am so drained.

"can I sleep here forever?"

"We have to get up at some point."

I groan in response and he sighs.

"Alright, we have to get you up", he says getting up and leaving me on the bed. I look up at the now standing Alek and say, "I never wanna leave"

He laughs at my response. Before I know it im being slugged on his shoulder. Although im yelling at him to put me down, I am laughing.

he sets me down on the kitchen island. He grabs a pan and some eggs and begins making us breakfast.

I can see my reflection on the window. my eyes are rimmed with dark circles and are swollen. I look horrendous. Alek notices my sudden wave of insecurity. He walks over to my position on the counter and puts my face between his hands. He lowers his head and our foreheads touch. Taking a deep breath, he touches the dark circles under my eyes with his thumb. I shut my eyes. Just when I think he's going to kiss me, he moves his mouth to my eyes and kisses the circles. gently kissing my left eye once and then my right. He moves his head back, with his hands still holding my face.

"you're beautiful."

I say nothing because there's nothing to say. He lets go and hands me a plate of eggs and toast with a cup of coffee. He takes a seat on the counter, beside me.

"thank you.", I say softly and a little do delay.

"don't thank me ", is what he says to me. Im a little confused but after a few moments he continues," I did nothing worth your thanks."

"you've done more for me yesterday than my family ever has. so when I say thank you, I mean it"

he looks a little unsettled. I can tell that this is unusual for him. After some minutes of silent eating he stops and mumbles, "im sorry."

I think back to what on earth he could be sorry about. the date, right. I forgot to give him shit about that. to be honest, what he did yesterday makes up for what he did.

"im sorry.", I say because I wasn't exactly innocent in the whole thing either. He nods his head once.

This girl. Hayla left an hour ago. She drives me crazy but makes me never wanna complain about it. the saddest part is that I can't be with her. Not that I like her or anything...just that IF I ever did I couldn't. I'd hurt her in every way possible.

what if I end up like him.

I shake the blood curing thought of ending up like the man who calls himself a father. He kills everything that touches him, don't I do that as well? I mean, look at us. both of us singlehandedly drove the only woman in our life away. Seeing Hayla yesterday makes me wonder what it feels like to be able to just let go like that. To be able to cry. It's been a while since I've done that.

I don't want to go down that rabbit hole. not today. not tomorrow. not ever. so ill just continue to hate the world. except her. No, especially her. 

I could never do that.

Ughhhhh

My thoughts halt when I realise that I have to get my work done for the day. She's distracting me and I hate it. she invaded my brain and won't go away. This has to be the most irritating thing that has happened to me. 

The day rushes by and it's already night. I want to call Mikey but at this time, im sure he's doing the thing of a sexual nature with Amy. I'm bored out of my mind when my doorbell rings. surprise surprise, standing outside the door is Hayla wearing her sponge bob PJs.

"Is this going to be a thing now? are you just going to show up here?", I ask with a grin on my face. She makes me grin like an idiot.

" Listen, I have an explanation and I need a place to crash"

"I would love to hear this one, but preferably inside rather than the entrance.", I say.

"right, yes, ok", she walks inside. 

we sit in the living room and she starts explaining. well... more like rambling.

"so basically, Amy and Jamie were going to have sex in the dorm which I didn't need to see. So, being the good friend that I am, I let them have the room. Keep in mind I thought my other friend Jamie would take me in. I completely forgot that Jamie left earlier that day to visit her family for the weekend. so that was out of the cards. Which left me with the last option, which was you."

"riiight and Mikey told me he was having problems in his room."

"exactly, so...ya"

"my night was beginning to get very dull anyway", I admit.

"Great! so, movie night it is!", she decides. 

Hayla has been here for only two hours and we're already watching legally blond on my couch. We're engulfed in blankets and sitting next to each other. She gets so happy when a familiar scene plays out.

"iconic, fucking iconic, that's what she is.", she says with a yawn. I suggested that we sleep but she was keen on finishing the movie. We're both exhausted so before I know it Hayla 's head falls on my shoulder. she's asleep. with that, I fall asleep too.