I'll look after you

chapter thirteen

It's been two months since that day with Alek. two months of me locked up in studios and my room finishing project after project, essay after essay and never-ending presentations. the only people I've spoken to are Jamie and Amy. it's a week away from the summer break. semester's nearly over and I have two options:

1. stay here and do nothing

2. go back home and risk depression

now that I lay it out like this the latter seems a tad bit inconvenient. I know Amy is going on vacation with Mike. god, those two are nauseating. if it wasn't clear enough then, they are dating. no, they're in love. whatever that meant. I see the little glint in her eyes when he walks through the door. or how she smiles so wide I wonder if her cheeks bruise. it's confusing because I feel happy around Alek. I mean I still have minimum knowledge of the guy. I know I trust him enough to cry in front of him or to spend the night at his apartment but really what else do I know. What I do know is that if I ask questions about his past he will ask about mine and that would be too messy so no thank you.

I've been hearing Amy ramble about this vacation next week. they chose to travel on the last day of the semester. couldn't wait to leave. all of this was fine with me until Amy barged into the room while I'm rapidly typing up an essay due at 11:59. 

"I have a proposition.", Amy proclaims. as soon as she says that my immediate response is, "no. whatever it is, no."

"But you don't even know what I was about to say. okay just hear me out ."

I felt bad for her so I turned my chair to face her. she smiled and continued.

"so you know how mike and i are going on vacation to Bora Bora next week."

"yes Amy, I think you've mentioned it a couple hundred times before"

"good. I want you to come with us."

I look closer to see if was being serious.

"I couldn't if I wanted to.", I answer knowing that I couldn't afford that trip . "im also not a big fan of third-wheeling."

"look, I know you hate handouts so I thought about the money you have and found a solution."

"oh id love to hear this one", I say, curious to see what her brilliant idea is.

she walks over to my desk and pulls a calculator from her purse.

"Okay so, your budget is 8000 dollars max", she claims

8000?!?

"girl, max is 5000.", I correct.

"I know but I thought I would add 3000, and before you cut me off. you can pay me back those three thousand whenever you can. consider it a loan.", she says.

god, this girl is so kind im sure im a bad influence. what she's saying makes sense. I could pay her back, that way I won't feel like a charity case.

"okay that solves that issue but 8000 is not enough for a trip to Bora Bora and I can't pay you back more than what I already would."

"See that's where my calculations come in. so a flight ticket costs around 550, that plus the room for 4 days is 5550 and that leaves 2450 on food and transport."

she has it all planned out. im just wondering how I got stuck with a girl whose heart size is comparable to Jupiter. im a lucky girl.

"wow, im impressed.", I say quietly as hope sparks through me.

"im upset you doubted me", she says teasingly. "as for the third wheel thing. Mikeys bringing Alek as well and ive convinced Jamie to tag along. that way you and Alek can still ogle each other but from a change of scenery. it's healthy."

"We do not ogle each other.", I say annoyed. 

"anyway. everything is planned. all you have to do is say yes.", she says.

it seems too good to be true but I agree anyway. who am I to turn down a vacation. 

"I can't go with you.", I say with finality to my voice. if Mikey thinks he's mentally strong enough to face my stubbornness then he is going to change his mind now. I could stand in this library for hours until he gets it.

"come on man.  you need to relax. your face is always in that frown, you're going to get wrinkles before you turn 30."

"if I wasn't busy enough then I would consider it. But im not so I consider it off the table.", I say. I have been loaded with so many talks these last two months that I've buried myself with work. I think I may need this vacation but im not sure it outweighs the importance of school and work.

"fine if that's how you want it to be..."

what game is he playing?

"what. what is it.", I say frustratingly. less of a question more of a demand.

" oh, nothing just that... you know... hayla's coming as well.."

now that makes things interesting.

"she's coming.", I say more to myself than him. im not sure why but after that night I felt a little weird. I missed her?

"ill think about it.", I say.

"ill take it.", he says enthusiastically.

you know what I think a vacation is just what I need. but it's bad. She's going to be there and if I somehow get attached... no, I will not develop feelings. im neutral. she is just another girl. if I keep my distance I think I can relax as well as avoid her. this would be fine right?

this is about the most inconvenient vacation ive ever agreed to. irony is enjoying itself.  Im not sure why i agreed to it. if im trying to avoid her then why is she the reason im going. no. im going for vacation. That's it. 

as the week passed i crammed the work that id be missing during the vacation. By the time it was the day before the trip i had realised that my bag wasn't even packed. it seems like something i should be stressed about but im just not. 

As i throw things into the bag i get a call from mikey. i put him on speaker and throw my phone on the bed.

"are you ready for an awesome vacation", he yells through the phone.

"like i said a million times, bora bora feels like a honeymoon destination. i am also not so excited about being dragged to a place where you get sunburnt and swim in salty water all day."

"that's the beauty of it and you can blame the burnt skin on your white ass. i just get darker."

"is there a reason behind this call.", i say a little annoyed.

"ya i called to get you hyped for tomorrow."

this guy is infuriating.