Submerged (doctor who novel)

doomsday

Tw- blood ,asthma attack,mental breakdown,physical violence,mention of abuse,ptsd episode

Ezzys pov----------
I sat up in a fright,gasping large quantities of air that didn't reach my lungs,making me splutter out a chesty cough and lean over,the burning ache of every part of my my body sending my temperature right up.
"Look who's awake,helloo ." the doctor spoke cheerily,with a big smile on his face.
I spat out a mouthful of blood onto the white tile flooring,catching my breath then wiping the remanence that lingered in my lip,on my sleeve that was already soaked with dark red patches of the stuff.
"Hi.....not exactly sure...what.. happened"I grinned at him nervously,the social anxiety not fully hitting,just awkwardness.I had recovered pretty much fully now but it was weird.A part of ,e had been unlocked after the seizure,like it opened up my conscience that functioned as another person.I knew more,was capable of more.It was easier and quieter to even just think.
"What do you mean?"he frowned.
"You shoved me away when I was in the middle of downloading."
"Downloading? You were dying!" he took a seat next to me, ignoring everyone elses nosy stares .To be fair,end of the world,Not exactly time to get to know me.My eyes followed his,locked in his threatening gaze.
I chuckled a bit,a wrack of cold sweat sending a shiver down my spine.was it the recovery of the seizure or him? "what's up with you?"
"Don't play dumb."he threw me a look of disgust,speaking quickly with irritation.
"What?.."
"Who are you?"
I raised a brow at him.
"Where are you from.Because...Ezzy Anderson.if that's truly your name,
your impossible.Everything around you is faked."
"Fake...what are you talking about."I shook my head at him in disbelief.I had always struggled to except the fact I existed now,living,with a heartbeat and lungs that breathed in oxygen -mind you,not very well,asthma- him stating that my world was fake was like chucking me into a deep,sloping whole,lined with perfectly smooth concrete.
"What do you want with this planet and its people."
"I am one of the people you dickhead."I stood up,raising my voice.
He walked around me,circling like a shark.i sighed and rolled my eyes,deep inside feeling the extra saliva forming in my mouth from restlessness.I wasn't guilty or anything,I knew I was human,I had to be,just the way he watched me gave me the chills.
"What is your species identification."
I let out a laugh,wiping more blood and ash from my face and pushing my hair behind my back to let my neck air out.
"Doctor? Have you gone mad? I'm not an alien."
"Pale skin but tan freckles, naturally white hair, fast growing nails,outer body drops to freezing temperatures in distressing experiences but internal body heat fluctuates to your need.Humanoid.Thats the only human thing about you.to be fair though,same heart as a human just evolved to be better and stronger but different brain,lungs and digestive system,hense the asthma and knowledge of future things.I haven't worked out if the heterochromia is extraterrestrial to this planet yet or not."
"I'm not.an alien. I'm human."I glared at him then turned to Rose,covering my mouth so the doctor couldn't see.
"Did he get hit by a dalek?"I whisper talked.She cracked a smile.

My balance was torn away from my already trembling legs as a deep rumble came from the whole building.
"We haven't got time to argue,The plan works,were going,all of us." Pete declared, walking off with the torchwood security people who followed via his hands signal.
"Nah! I'm not leaving him!"Rose follow him, continuing to argue back.
"I'm not leaving without her,or Ez"Jackie told Pete.
"Oh my god.WERE GOING!"he shouted in Jackie's face.
"I've had 20 years without you so button it!I'm not, leaving them!"she shouted back.
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"I turned around,personal and unpleased memories jogging into my head at the smell of tested authority around the two newly reunited parents.
"You've got to."Rose pulled her mother around to face her by her arm.
"Well that's tough!"
"Mum.."she said solemnly,pausing to take a deep breath before continuing.
"I've had a life with you for 19 years..But then I met the doctor.and-"
The doctor got up from the computer at this point,making his way over to us.He walked slowely,like he wasn't completely sure if he wanted to approach her.
"-All the things I've seen him do for me,for you.for all of us,the whole stupid planet and every planet out there...he does it alone mum."
He looked at her like she had ripped his heart out.And she had.
i watched him pull out a necklace I'm guessing transported them between dimensions (considering everyone else had one on) and pleaded silently through my eyes he was not about to do what I thought he was.he continued to get closer to her,dropping all feelings from my reach.that wasn't fair.She couldn't see him walking up to her.
"-But not anymore..cause now he's got me."Rose took a few steps backwards,tears in her eyes as her voice cracked.And the doctor placed the chain over her head.She snapped around,half through a sentence when she disappeared into thin air.Pete had hit the button.
"What are you-"that was her last words;The amazing Rose.Yet I was still here.
I took in a sharp breath,the only audible sound in the room.A small wheeze echoed in the cold,empty room.The lights seemed darker just with their absence.
"What.the fuck....was that FOR YOU IDIOT!"I ran up to him,going to hit him,punch him, something,just something.Rose had so much feelings towards him.I wasn't her but I felt it.How he made her world brighter.
I burst into tears,my arms weakly flailing about,little strength from the seizure before and even less now the emotions had taken over.
"SHE LOVES YOU!HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!"my throat was dry and burnt out with the amount of screeming I had done today,my weeping didn't help,and stung the back of my mouth with a fiery pain.
His face didn't change once,not a twitch.He just wrapped his arms around me,pulling me against his chest as I cried Rose's tears for her.I could hear her sobbing..on the other side.The doctor just stared,broken,at her empty space.salt water dampened his shoulder as I let myself fall limp in his hold.It took everything to not just collapse and pass out from the pain and sadness I felt.for another few minutes I cried,hitting my head on his chest lightly until I was just breathing heavily,tears clouding my eyes but no longer falling.That was when he let me go,walking away and back over to the computer he was at before.I wandered to the side of the room, grabbing my inhaler from my pocket as my chest tightened.shit.I stared down at the broken blue chips of plastic and dented metal canister,a large whole in the side.No oxygen for me then I guess.I must have collapsed on it some time.
I wiped the tears off my face, breathing deeply to stabilise myself as much as I could.
Dickhead.
that was when another sound came from the room."I think this is the on switch."
"ROSE!OH MY GOD."I ran over to her,salted water spilling over my redened face,happiness flowing from me to her.She hugged me back then pulled away and gave me a sympathetic smile.The doctor ran up to her,meeting her eye level.
"Once the breach collapses,that's it.You will never be able to see her again;Your own mother."
Stupid stupid doctor.Blind doctor.
"I made my choice a long time ago,and I'm never gonna leave you."She looked him dead in the eyes,staring just as intently back to him.God i wish I had that.A level of love anywhere near to that.
Realization hit the doctor who slowly leant away from the blonde,realising how much he truly meant to her.If only he could see himself the way she did.
"So what can I do to help?"she asked softly.
They gazed a silent conversation for a few seconds longer than needed,the doctor realising what little time they had left.
"Those coordinates,set them to six." Rose walked away from him to do as he told her.
He was ashamed.Ashamed of the way he changed her.It was beautiful and he saw it as corruption.
"And hurry up!"he shouted,fury raging through his voice.That wasn't fair.His anger was aimed towards himself but that didn't give him the right to take it out on Rose.He scared me,the doctor did.The way he changed so quickly.Never knowing what he truly felt because he blocked me off most the time.I'd only known him for a day and the first glance at his chestnut brown eyes was that enough to 'enlighten' me of his wisdom and experience.It wasn't pretty.
"We've got cybermen on the way up."Rose called,knocking me out of my glare at the Doctor.He ran over to her to check the footage too.
"How many floors down."
"One "
"Is there anything I can do...?"I asked akwardly shuffling on my feet,my chest still rising and falling heavily in pain.I didn't sound this pain,scared of what the doctor would say.Shouting was my biggest trigger for panic attacks and when I was already struggling to breath my way through an asthma attack, panic attack was the bottom of my to do list.
Rose went to speak but the doctor cut her off."No,stay there,don't move.We can't trust you still."
"Right..."I rolled my eyes,slightly hurt by his judgments.I was human.Why was he believing differently?
He tapped a few buttons,making the computers speak information about the setting status.
"That's more like it,a bit if a smile!The old team..plus prisoner."Rose attempted to lighten the air,the doctor beaming up at her in response and grabbing a magna clamp.He moving around the table, making his way to her.
"Hope and glory,mutt and Jeff,shiver and shake!"
"Which one's shiver?"
"Oh,I'm shake!"he handed her the clamp,both of the turning to opposite walls and placing the clamps there.
"Press the red button,You,"he pointed to me,his whole demeanour changing as soon as he made eye contact with me but his obvious mood only put on to intimidate me,softening once he turned back to rose."go over to Rose's one;my hands are too big for two pairs on here."I started to hobble over to her,a sudden stabbing pain in my stomache making me lean over and gag.one single drop of red fell to the floor and I shoved my hand up to my nose,a reflex I had learnt to subconsciously do as I got nose bleeds often.
"What what is it?"Rose asked me with concern.As I adjusted to the discomfort of now not being able to breathe through my nose either,and lifted my head,I could taste the metal tang of iron filled blood on the top of my lip.
"The daleks..." I gulped down the asthma attack. "....are coming."
"Hurry up then,come on!"he ushered me on.I stumbled over to Rose's side.
"When it starts,hold tight shouldn't be too bad for us,ezzy you might have a problem.The daleks and cybermen are steeped in void stuff.are you ready?"
"Woah woah....what..do you mean I'm....going to...have a..problem?"each pause made a loud rasp leave my throat.
"Well for starters the daleks approaching gives you a nosebleed.it's going to be tough on your mind when millions are rushing past.And your drowned in the void stuff, litterly drowned."
"Why..?I've...never been...to any parallel worlds?"
"Keep telling yourself that and you might aswell as let you go."
"what!?"The volume of my words caused me to fall into a coughing fit,falling onto my knees.
"Just grab a hold,stop fussing."
Tears clouded my vision.He could be such a bitch sometimes.I was not having a great day,feeling like I had died twice,being told I'm a fucking alien and now about to deal with millions of daleks plummeting through my brain at the same time as having an asthma attack.Rose and the doctor were lifting up a lever when the daleks got to the window.They ran over to the clamps,grabbing hold but i was still frozen,now on my feet but hands next to my side.Tears fell down my face that held a wince.What was the point.My whole life I thought:i don't know anyone anymore, people are so unpredictable.but at least I know what I am.I'm human.We all are.Even if I don't know who I am I still know who I can be.
But that was gone.He stripped me bare of every last piece of hope.What was he going to do to me when this was over?Hand me over to some aliens to be slaughtered?I've always wanted the effortless way out.painles and quick.This could be it.A smile twitched over my face for a second.Peacfull right?
A small rush of wind blew my hair around,grabbing the doctor's attention.
"EZZY GRAB ON."
I hesitated for a moment,before my feet flung up and I caught the clamps handles.I wrapped my hands around it,unable to think as four daleks smashed through the windows and flew right past me.It was like someone hit my skull with a hammer,and I held in a scream of pain.Soon there were hundreds at a time passing by,and I felt the warm blood trickling from my mouth and ears again.my nose still hasn't stopped.
'offline."our lever got pushed down by the turbulance.Shit.Rose attempted to reach for it and pull it back up but couldn't quite stretch far enough.
"Hold on!"The doctor reached an arm to her as if he could stop her from carelessly trying to grab the lever.Roses grip faltered,and she fell,Just grabbing hold of the lever with a shriek and turning her body to push it up in time.
"I've got to get it upright!"
The doctor's face was pure horror,panic radiating off him like a chemical explosion.he didn't blink in fear she would disappear if he did.
The lever was in place again now,locked permanently.and that was when I felt it.Dalek sec.Teleporting away.It sent a wave of nausea to my stomache,I was going to throw up but all I could taste in my mouth was blood.
"AH!!"I shouted out in pain,my hand unable to hold on.i was airborne for a few seconds,feeling the vicious pull of the void,before my fingers scraped the lever and I grabbed on as tight as I could.The shift of weight caused rose to get pushed,almost being tugged into hell.Seconds,seconds and she could have gone forever.But I grabbed hold of the handle,now supporting her entire weight plus force of the void.I hooked my arm around the lever to keep it in place and focused on holding Rose,not the pain in my shoulder that was probably now dislocated.I let out a cry of struggle as the weight of her sent a burning stab through my veins to my hand.
"ROSE, HOLD ON!
EZZY DONT YOU DARE LET GO."the two stared at eachother again,as if saying goodbyes just in case.
Rose's grip was slipping from mine now,her hands sweaty and mine starting to freeze up as the weight of the daleks overworked my mind.
"SHES TOO COLD."
"HOLD ON!"the doctor screamed to her.I could only feel the tips of rose's pink fingers in my hand.any attempt to grab her tighter and she would fall.
"No,no,no."I said,feeling her clutch on me starting to slip and twitch.
The doctor reached out a hand to her despite the metres of distance between,just desperate to not loose anyone else close to him.Rose had brought him out his dark times,how could he not love her effortlessly?
She was there in my hand,one second.And the next.....