Six

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TW: Emotional breakdown and self harm reference during Orion's POV. Night terror in Bosco's POV❌

Orion's POV:
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"We're having movie night in Daya and Maddy's dorm before classes officially start. You coming?" Alyssa asked, changing into more comfortable clothes.

I shook my head, busy looking through the pictures I had taken in the campus garden today. I hated them all. They came out so blurry because my hands just wouldn't stop shaking. "No, I don't think so." I sighed.

Alyssa shook her head, walking over and putting her hands on my shoulders. "Please, Ry-Ry? You haven't hung out with all of us in so long. Maybe it'll help cheer you up?"

I just shook my head again and hardly even noticed the nickname, getting more and more frustrated the longer I studied the pictures. And when I got frustrated, I got emotional. "I have to edit these to look okay. Maybe next time..."

I heard Alyssa sigh behind me, and it made me feel bad. I wanted to turn around and just hold onto her, desperate for someone to vent to. But I had put her through too much of that and wanted her to go have fun with our friends. "I promise I'll hang out with you all next time." I tried to hide the crack in my voice.

"...Pinky promise?" Alyssa asked quietly. It kind of made me feel worse hearing how sad she sounded, but I turned around, linking my pinky finger with hers. "I pinky promise..."

That got her to smile a little. She messed with my hair before turning to the door, looking back from the doorway. "We're down the hall if you need us."

"I know." I said softly and watched her leave. The moment the door was closed is when I let myself break.

I broke down completely, sobbing into my hands as I thought about everything I had done wrong. I knew I chose the wrong thing to study yet again. I knew I wouldn't be any good at it. I knew my family was going to be disappointed once more.  And now here I am upsetting my friends and making promises I didn't know if I could even keep.

"I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself!" I cried and slammed my fist down onto my desk. My knuckles were white and my nails dug into the palm of my hand. I hardly noticed. After all, I only deserved the worst of things. Pain included.

I snapped out of it when there was a knock on the door. I turned quickly as I caught my breath, trying desperately to wipe my tears away as I stood up. It was probably just Alyssa anyways, she wasn't too phased by my outbursts anymore. "C-Coming..."

I opened the door and my eyes widened when seeing Jorgeous standing there. She looked concerned, her head tilted.

"I heard yelling. Are you okay?" She looked scared and it made me feel bad. "And I don't mean to be mean but you look like you're crying..."

I quickly swiped my arm over my eyes, biting my lip. It was impossible not to cry more when I was asked if I was okay. "I-I-"

And suddenly I was wrapped in the small girl's arms. She had a tight but comforting hold, her head on my chest. "It's okay, Orion. You're gonna be okay."

I stared down at her, surprised she was still hugging me since I was so stiff. I took a deep breath before slowly lowering my own arms around her.

She looked up at me, squeezing slightly. "Can I come in?"

I was in no place to turn down comfort. I nodded a little and led her inside, trying my best to ignore my want for her arms back around me when she pulled away. I turned back to her after closing the door and she stared down at my hand.

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