Carter

Chapter 5

 Carter's pov-

I dressed Miles in new, clean pajamas. I bathed Miles and myself with our new bathing products. Since my new clothes were still in the washer I was once again wearing my brother's clothes. Casper lent me a hoodie and sweatpants, both of which were entirely too big for me. I had to roll the sleeves of the sweatshirt and the cuffs of the pants. Casper is ridiculously tall.

" Are you hungry, my love?" I asked when Miles started grabbing at my boobs again. He let out a bunch of baby babble and I laughed at how adorable he is. I walked to the bed and sat down with Miles. I pulled up the sweatshirt on one side and started feeding Miles.

I let my head rest against the headboard. I don't know how I'm still going, I'm fucking exhausted. I was half asleep when I was jolted awake by the door slamming open. I gasped and quickly yanked down my shirt, Casper's eyes went wide and he turned around.

Oh my god. He did not just walk in on me breastfeeding. Please tell me he did not just see me breastfeeding. Oh god, I hope he didn't see my bruises. It's clear he saw the child attached to my boob, let's hope that's all he saw.

" You can turn around." I said to Casper, who was facing the hallway. He slowly turned around to face me. His face was riddled with relief when he saw everything was back to normal. He walked over and sat down next to me on the bed.

He took Miles and placed him in his lap before taking my hand in his.

" Why didn't you tell us he's your son?" Casper asked. I was a little surprised to hear him talk, he's always so quiet.

I bit the inside of my cheek. Because how am I supposed to tell some random stranger I was raped by my step-father? That's not something I can just blurt out. It's humiliating for me.

I shrugged, " I didn't want you guys to judge me. There's a lot of judgment that comes along with being a teen mom." I admitted. And I was telling the truth, just not the whole truth.

He turned to look at me, " We wouldn't have judged you. Being a mother is an extremely difficult job, especially when you're still a child yourself." he said, giving my hand a squeeze. I bit down harder, trying to fight back tears. It felt nice to not feel judged or ashamed. He didn't try to lecture me or tell me what I did wrong. He simply accepted it.

A small part of me is scared the others won't be so accepting. What if they kick me out? Or try to take Miles away from me. What if they think I'm an unfit mother? I can't let them take him, I won't let them.

" How old were you when you had him?" he asked.

" Thirteen." I answered blandly but I felt deeply bitter about it. I got pregnant on my thirteenth birthday and then had him before I turned fourteen.

" Where's his dad?" he asked but I wish he hadn't. I could admit he's dead or lie and say he's just not around anymore.

" He's dead." Casper's face fell, " I'm sorry for your loss." he said. He shouldn't feel sorry, it was the best thing to ever happen to Miles and I.

" So, you've been raising Miles by yourself? Did your parents help?" he asked. I could lie and say they were loving and supportive about the whole thing but fuck that. They treated me like shit. I don't want them to die with an image of them being perfect parents because they were far from that.

I don't want people to know the extent of their abuse but I'm not going to hide the fact they treated me like shit, they don't deserve that. " No, they didn't." I said truthfully. A small frown made its way onto his face. " Were they upset about you getting pregnant?" he asked.

" Chris was, Natalie didn't really care." I told him. Natalie really didn't give two shits about me or what I did, she hated me regardless. No matter what I did it was never good enough for her. Me getting pregnant was no surprise to her. She always thought of me as nothing but a worthless whore.