You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison

Ten. (Gerard's POV)

Brendon and I lay kissing for maybe 10 minutes before the loud speaker voice ordered us to get downstairs for breakfast. We both walked down together, hand in hand. Many people turned to look at us, yelling things like "fag", "faggot", "mistake". Most of them came from the group of extremely religious Christians, and some others scattered across the Caf.

I had mastered the art of not giving a crap when I was a kid. We just ignored them, nose high, and made our way into the line.

We got our breakfast slop and sat at our usual table. No one was there yet, thank god.

"So where are we going with this?" He asked me as we both started to pick at our food with plastic spoons.

"What do you mean?" I aksed. I knew what he meant, I know a lot of things.

"Well, in our relationship. Are we together? As a couple?" He asked somewhat confidently. I could tell by the noise of little pieces of paper ripping that he was tearing up a note he had in his hand.

"What are you doing? With your hands?" I asked, pointing at his bony fingers. He looked up, smiled.

"Occupying them. So I won't get the sudden urge to kiss you." He stated softly, tilting his head cutely. He then blushed and looked away. The way he blushed reminded me perfectly of Frank. His little rosy cheeks balling up into a smile and his eyes twitching.

I didn't know where I was with Brendon, nor with Frank. Frank I was attracted to since the day he had gotten here. But Brendon. Brendon had loved me from the day I had saved his life. He had never backed down in trying to be with me, even when I kissed Frank, he was there. It probably had broken his heart, to see I wasn't attracted to him.

I felt like I owed him that much, to be with him. I don't want to lead him on though. If he loves me but I don't feel the same way about him, I needed to tell him before things got serious.

"So, I repeat: Where do you think we're heading in this relationship?" He asked, reaching for my hand under the table. I felt it and dragged mine away to put it under my chin. I don't like human contact, at least not yet.

"Well, we're both in prison. I have a life sentence, you don't. You're eventually gonna get out of here, I won't. You'll have a life of your own, meet someone else and have a family. I'll be here like I was for the past 5 years." I said casually, stirring my oatmeal goop.

"Let's face it. It won't last. We can either be together now and savour it, or let it go and make it easier for you to leave when you have to." I shrugged.

"I'm willling to take a risk. I've waited for you for so long. I need a taste of what loving Gerard Arthur Way is like." He smiled and kicked me with his leg under the table. I smiled on the outside, but fell on the inside.

I was confused as to how I felt. Did I love him? Did I still want Frank? I had really wanted him before he rejected me, I don't want to lead Brendon on.

I smiled, got up and went straight to my cell.

"I gotta go pee." I lied as an excuse.

Brendon nodded and cringed as he took a painful bite of the jelly-like stuff in his paper plate.

Meanwhile, I had gotten up the stairs and was heading to Frank. I opened the door. I felt like I was barging in, forgetting it was my own cell. I must have surprised him because I swear I heard a yelp when the door slammed open.

As soon as he noticed it was me, he smiled and got up.

"Gee? We need to talk." He said excitedly. He then started to talk so fast and unsurely. I kept talking over him as he made hand gestures.