Essex, England
"Is it right here?"
"Yeah, right and then it should be up there on the left." Sirius parked the car and the pair climbed out. They walked a short way before coming to a stop outside some run-down looking flats. "I'm not sure about this, are you?"
"We haven't been inside yet."
"I know but-"
"PADFOOT!" The pair looked up to find James stood on the roof of the next building.
"Hiya." Remus waved.
"Alright you pair of pricks?"
"Alright?"
"What're you doing here?"
"We've come to look at a flat."
"Padfoot!" Peter appeared next to James.
"Alright, Pete?" Sirius nodded.
"What are you two actually doing up there?" Remus asked.
"Fitting the satellite." Peter pointed behind him.
"You know us, Rem, satisfaction with every erection." Remus laughed and Sirius shook his head.
"Not that he's satisfying anyone with his erections lately." Peter laughed. "Absolutely gagging for it. How many did you shift out last night?" James shook his head in embarrassment.
"Four wasn't it?" Sirius grinned. "You sent me a text saying you cracked four out in under two hours."
"I'm so sorry, Rem." James sighed.
"Don't worry about it, I'm just the same." Sirius stared at Remus. "Being at home doing nothing, it just passes the time. Yesterday, I had three just watching Cash In The Attic." James raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, are you still alright to pick Lil up?"
"Yeah..."
"We thought we'd go bowling or something."
"Bowling?"
"Yeah, she loves it. Lil's brilliant at it."
"Are you coming, Pete?" Sirius asked.
"Bowling?" Peter shook his head. "Nah."
"He's scared of the shoes." James patted Peter on the back. "Anyway we need to get this finished, I'll see you later!" James called before disappearing, closely followed by Peter. Sirius glanced at Remus who sighed.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"Yes there is, what's up?"
"Nothing!"
"Look, you've got to go into these things with an open mind."
"Yeah, I know."
"I'm sorry I'm late." A bald man puffed as he jogged over. "I'm Duncan, you must be Sirius and Remus."
"Yeah."
"Lovely to meet you both."
"You too."
"Right, let's get started. The wow factor is on the other side of the door, c'mon follow me." Remus looked at Sirius who shrugged before following Duncan inside. "I'll let you take it all in. Look around, take in the space."
"This is it?" Remus looked around the dingy flat.
"Yeah, it's a studio flat."
"It says a large studio." Sirius pointed at the leaflet he was holding.
"It is." Duncan smiled.
"Is it?"
"Compared to a lot on our books, this is massive." Duncan ushered them further inside. "This is your living room come kitchen come bedroom area. This is what makes it so unique. You've got everything. I live in a three storey town house and believe me; the stairs are a killer." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I made a big mistake there really. I should've chosen this place." Duncan quickly opened and closed a door. "That's your bathroom."
"Can I have a look?" Remus asked.
"What?"
"At the bathroom." Remus nodded at the door.
"Yeah, but all I would say is that you need-"
"Can we just look at the bathroom." Sirius sighed.
"Yeah." Duncan opened the door revealing a tiny room covered in mould. The toilet didn't have a seat on it and sported multiple cracks.
"It's a toilet and a sink." Sirius shook his head.
"It doesn't even have a shower." Remus grimaced.
"It does have a shower, just not where you think."
"What?"
"Take a look at this." Duncan closed the bathroom door and opened one of the kitchen cupboards, pulling out a shower hose. "What you've got here is a wet room slash kitchen. See that," he pointed at a drain in the middle of the room, "Drainage. I tell you what Remus, come and stand here." Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius who just shrugged. "Come on." Remus sighed and stood over the drain. "Sirius, come and hold this." Duncan held up the shower hose. "Nah, you're alright."
"Just come and hold this."
"No it's fine, really."
"I'm not going to turn the taps on." Sirius took the hose from Duncan. "Hold it above him." Sirius held the hose above Remus' head.
"I'd like to leave now." Remus muttered to Sirius who nodded in agreement.
***
Essex, England
"Nine please." The young guy behind the counter placed a pair of bowling shoes on the counter in front of Sirius. "Cheers."
"Ten please." Remus took his shoes and turned to Sirius. "They were all disgusting."
"They weren't."
"I can't believe you're even considering any of them."
"I'm just saying we've got to be realistic about what we can afford."
"I'm sorry but for that sort of money you can get a lush place in Barry."
"There's a reason for that."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"There's a reason houses are cheaper in Barry."
"Why do you always have to slag Barry off?"
"Because sometimes it's quite difficult living with a person who thinks that Barry Island is the best place in the world and can't even acknowledge that it ever even rains there."
"It doesn't rain that much as it goes."
"Don't be like this." Sirius sighed.
"Padfoot!"
"Alright Prongs, Lily?" Sirius nodded at James and Lily in turn.
"How's it going, Sirius?" Lily asked before hugging Remus. "Alright Rem?"
"Not really no because someone is being a complete knob."
"I reckon he's talking about you Sirius." Lily said as she let go of Remus.
"Yeah, I imagine so. You need some shoes."
"She's got her own."
"I takes bowling very seriously."
"C'mon mate, we'll get drinks." Sirius muttered as he dragged James over to the bar.
***
Essex, England
The group left the bowling alley and headed towards Sirius' car.
"It does matter, Sirius, and I can't believe you don't think it does."
"That's not what I'm saying. I just think renting-"
"So what are you saying?!"
"Well if you shut up for a minute and stop shouting like a child..."
"Ugh." Remus scoffed and walked ahead. Sirius picked up his pace so he was walking next to Remus once more.
"Remus, can we please just talk about this?"
"I just want to go home!"
"Right, when you say home do you mean Barry Island or y'know Monty and Effie's where we actually live?"
"Oh grow up Sirius." Remus shook his head.
"Me grow up? I'm not the one who can't spend more than five minutes away from their family."
"Did you hear that, Lil?" Remus scoffed.
"I'm not getting involved." Lily muttered.
"Lets all just get in the car." Sirius sighed.
"I thought we were getting KFC?" James said.
"We're not getting KFC." Sirius said as himself and Remus got into the car, slamming the doors. They sat there for a few moments before climbing back out.
"Three door." James laughed as he helped Lily climb into the car.
***
Essex, England
Remus flung open the door at the Potter's. "It's one rule for you and one rule for me. You've just got double standards!"
"That's not true!"
"It is! I'm sick of the whole thing. I'm sick of you, I'm sick of this house, I'm sick of the way-"
"Oi oi oi, what's going on?" Fleamont asked as himself and Euphemia came downstairs in their pyjamas and dressing gowns.
"Nothing!" Remus spat.
"Remus, will you just calm down a minute."
"It doesn't sound like nothing." Fleamont shook his head.
"What's wrong loves?" Euphemia asked.
"Don't worry Effie, your little Sirius is fine!" Remus stormed past the Potters and the bedroom door slammed shut moments later.
"Remus!" Sirius ran up the stairs after his husband.
