"Of course they did. Lily told me they did."
"I know they did, Prongs is still claiming that he fell over."
"The thing is, she can't even stand him. She says he's an arrogant toerag."
"I know."
"What time do you think you'll be here tomorrow?"
"Monty wants to leave by nine so I reckon about midday."
"Okay but try not to be later because it starts at ten and all the good suits will be gone."
"How do you know so much about it? Been to a lot of wedding fairs have you?"
"No. I've never been to one before. Never in my life. Never ever."
"Alright, calm down. Look, I've got to go, I'll call you tonight. I love you."
"Sirius..."
"Yeah?"
"Beauxbatons still owes us four hundred pounds."
"Really?"
"Yeah, that's kinda the reason I phoned."
"Okay, I'll chase it up with the council."
"Get your arse in gear, it's been five weeks now and my boss thinks I'm doing you favours."
"Yeah, sexual favours."
"Actually, the last four payments from Beauxbatons have all been late. It's embarrassing really."
"Okay, chill out."
"It you that said we have to stay professional."
"Very well. Thank you for bringing the matter to my attention, Mister Lupin. I shall deal with it immediately."
"I appreciate your co-operation, Mister Black. Goodbye." The phone rang again moments later.
"Hello?"
"I love you, Sirius."
"I love you too."
***
Essex, England
"Prongs!" Sirius looked in the bathroom and found James asleep in the empty bathtub. "PRONGS!" James' eyes flew open and he sat up.
"God, what're you doing here?" He stretched and yawned. "On your lunch break?"
"It's six o'clock."
"What!" James checked his watch. "Shit! I only went to sleep for ten minutes and that was at half twelve! This is a nightmare!" James pushed his glasses up his nose. "I was meant to have this finished by five. She's got her niece and nephew staying for the weekend." He ran a hand through his hair. "Right, you've gotta help me. Start tiling."
"I can't mate."
"Yeah you can, just slap 'em on. It don't have to be perfect, she's partially sighted."
"I've gotta talk to you."
"I ain't got time."
"It's serious."
"We're gonna have to talk and tile."
"Okay." Sirius picked up an adhesive trowel and the pair set to work.
"What is it? Problem down there?"
"What?"
"The prostates?"
"No."
"You can tell me. You can tell me anything."
"Look, me, you, Pete and Marlene, we've all been mates since first year infants, right?"
"Of course."
"We've all been through a lot together and as much as I think Pete and Marls are great, I just always think of you as my best friend."
"Thanks mate."
"That's why in six weeks' time, I want you standing there next to me, as my best man." James stopped what he was doing and looked at Sirius, tears escaping his eyes. "C'mon, it's supposed to be good news." Sirius laughed as he hugged his best friend. "Is that a yes then?" James nodded.
"I won't let you down. I'll get you to the church on time, I'll have the rings all ready, I'll do you a blinding speech and I'll give you the best stag do ever."
"I better go." Sirius whispered.
"Why?"
"Because there's a really angry woman standing in the doorway." James let go of Sirius and turned around.
"Mrs Figg, you're probably wondering why I'm crying and why your bathroom isn't finished." James gestured to his friend. "This is Sirius."
"Hi." Sirius gave a small wave.
"He's my oldest and dearest friend, and he's just given me some devastating news regarding his...prostates?"
***
Barry Island, Wales
Remus and Lily sat on Remus' bed flipping through magazines.
"Maybe that sort of thing, what do you think?" Remus showed Lily a teal coloured dress.
"Yeah, it's nice." Lily nodded.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
"C'mon." Remus nudged Lily with his foot. "Lil?" Lily sighed and put down her magazine.
"I won't lie to you; this don't sit well with me."
"What don't?"
"Look, are you sure you want me to be your best woman?"
"What're you on about?" Remus propped himself up on his elbow. "Of course I do."
"It's just...remember when Alice got married and I was a bridesmaid?" Remus nodded. "We walked down the aisle, everyone else was in front of me, people were turning and smiling. All the other bridesmaids looked really cracking. Proper stunning. Then I walks down, bringing up the rear. I could see people's eyes, they were taking the piss. They were laughing at my hair and how it clashed with the dress. Then afterwards I stood out like a sore thumb in all the photos. It was the same at Petunia's wedding."
"Don't be daft, of course I want you."
"I just think you need someone who blends in nicely with everyone else."
"Like who?"
"I don't know, someone like Cat Deeley."
"I don't know Cat Deeley."
"Kate Thornton then, or that Leanne."
"Leanne who?"
"Battersby. From Corrie."
"No." Remus shook his head. "Look, even if I did know these people, I'd never choose them over you. You're my best friend Lil. I want you stood beside me on my wedding day. Without you there, I don't think I'll be able to go through with it." Remus took Lily's hand and squeezed it.
"Cheers."
