My Name Is Evie

Lady Dimitrescu

TW: self harm and also some self deprecation

*Evie's P.O.V*

I stared up at Lady Dimitrescu with a slightly curious expression. I hadn't expected her to wish to speak with me, I had just assumed that she would ignore me for however long I was here. Lady Dimitrescu went farther into the library and sat in a chair that fitted her large stature. I followed her, sitting across from her on a loveseat.

"It's lovely to meet you Lady Dimitrescu," I said softly, the false words on my lips were bitter in my mouth. It was not lovely, it was quite terrifying if I was honest. Who wouldn't be terrified of a woman who was almost twice their size?

"Oh is it? I believe you told Mother Miranda that you had no interest in meeting me," Lady Dimitrescu said as she looked down at me. Her golden eyes unnerved me, she reminded me of a cat who caught a canary.

"I was quite intimidated by the prospect of meeting you, the stories in the Village aren't flattering," I said simply as I crossed one leg over another, noticing that her eyes took in each movement I made.

"No, I imagine not," Lady Dimitrescu chuckled as she smiled slightly. Her teeth had slight points to them, something I am sure came in handy when it came to eating people. "I have noticed that you send most of your meals back to the kitchen, are they not to your liking?" she asked as she arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"I still haven't gotten used to eating human flesh, it is...hard to get used to," I admitted as I looked down at my lap. "Does that make sense?" I asked, looking up at Lady Dimitrescu curiously.

"You are not the first to struggle with it," Lady Dimitrescu said simply. "It will become easier with time but even still I can not allow you to starve yourself," she stated as I bit my bottom lip. I turned my attention to the fireplace across the room, the flames dancing and casting an eerie light.

"Yes Lady Dimitrescu," I said as I tore my eyes away from the flames. The idea of eating human flesh was still slightly nauseating to me, I didn't know if I could actually listen to her words.

"Mother Miranda said you were quite combative," Lady Dimitrescu mused. My eyes narrowed at the bitch's name, biting my lower harshly so that it drew blood. I licked the blood away, feeling the sweet liquid sit heavy on my tongue before I swallowed it.

"I am full of surprises," I said simply as I watched her carefully, tilting my head as I listened to her heart beat. It was slow and heavy but it had a nice rhythm, soothing almost.

"Yes, you are an odd little thing," Lady Dimitrescu said. My head snapped up at her words, the word odd ringing in my ears. Deep down I knew she wasn't trying to insult me but it brought a question to mind. Was I a freak even amongst others Mother Miranda experimented on?

'Nothing but a freak, always going to be a freak,' I thought as my heart thundered in my ears. I licked my lips, the blood that was still trickling from my lip bringing me to my senses.

"I must go," I said simply as I stood up quickly, my vision blurring. The good thing about being able to blend in with the shadows is that there are always shadows in every place to exist. I melted into the shadow from the chair, fleeing from the library without a second thought. It was relatively easy to find my way back to my room, I could just follow my scent back to my room.

I left the shadows once I was in my room and shut the door, taking deep breaths as I stumbled into the connected bathroom. I stood in front of the sink, my eyes downcast as I bit my bottom lip harshly.

"Why can't you be normal?" I asked as I lifted my gaze to stare at myself in the mirror, my eyes glittering with unshed tears. "Fucking freak," I hissed out as my nails dug into my hands, glaring at myself in the mirror. The pain from my nails brought some relief and I hated that it did. It was just another freakish thing I did, enjoying the feeling of peace that pain brought.

I brought my hands up, noticing the shaking as I tangled my hands in my hair. I tugged at my hair, pathetic whimpers escaping my lips as I felt my control spiraling. I dropped to my knees, a sob escaping my lips.

"Be normal, just be normal," I whispered as I hit my head repeatedly. The pain grounded me, brought me back to the real world. I slowly managed to calm myself, carefully untangling my hands from my hair. There was always this moment of clarity after I harmed myself, a moment where guilt overwhelmed me. Not because I had hurt myself but because I felt relief from the pain.

I pulled myself up off the floor, looking at myself in the mirror. Tears had fallen down my face, I wiped them away. I smoothed my dress out, trying to gather my composure. I turned on the water, splashing my face with cold water. I sniffled as the cold water soothed my eyes before I turned the water off.

I left the bathroom, sitting on my bed as it creaked softly. There was a sliver of light and I looked up, realizing that my door was cracked open. I saw a flash of blonde hair, hearing the soft sound of footsteps as the person hurried away. "Fuck," I hissed out as I flopped back, they had probably heard everything I said about myself.

It was probably just a maid, that is why she hurried away when she thought I caught her. I laid back on my bed, not bothering to shut my door back. I closed my eyes with a murmured prayer, I said it every night, that I was just dreaming and I would wake up back in the Village.