My Name Is Evie

Talk

TW: talk about self harm

*Evie's P.O.V*

I didn't know how to answer Lady Dimitrescu, my mind had gone completely blank when she asked that. I thought changing my shirt would hide the scent of my blood but clearly it did not. I struggled to find an answer as Lady Dimitrescu looked down at me.

"I...fell," I said after a moment, that seemed to be the most believable excuse that came to mind. "Down the stairs," I added, cursing myself in my head for adding the last part. It would have been more believable if I hadn't added that part in.

"You fell?" Lady Dimitrescu questioned, raising an eyebrow. I stared into her golden eyes, feeling my resolve waver for a moment before I managed to nod my head.

"Yes, I fell," I said simply, putting my hands behind my back. It was a nervous habit that I had always had and it seemed to draw the Lady's attention.

"I don't believe you," Lady Dimitrescu said, making me pause as I frowned at her. Well I hadn't expected her to say that. How was I supposed to respond to that?

"Okay," I said as I tilted my head, staring up at her with furrowed eyebrows. I was still at a loss for a response so okay was the best thing that I could say at the moment.

"Bela darling, go back to your Aunt Donna," Lady Dimitrescu stated. "Evie and I need to have a chat," she said simply. I froze at that, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck rise at her words. If one thing could put me in fight or flight mode, it was being alone with Lady Dimitrescu and having a chat with her. She was still quite terrifying.

"I can't, I have to go feed the horse," I said simply with a weak smile. I still hadn't named the horse, I just kind of called her Horse. She seemed to like the name and I wasn't very creative with names so it was a win-win situation.

"You can do that later," Lady Dimitrescu informed me. "We can have our chat in the dining room or my study but we will be talking Evie," she stated. I huffed softly at her words, wanting nothing more than to disappear into the shadows. I couldn't just run off though, Lady Dimitrescu kind of scared me and I didn't want to anger her.

"I'll meet you in your study," I muttered before melting into the shadows. I raced through the halls, my shadow form reforming in her study. I shivered slightly as I solidified into my human form. I checked to make sure I still had all my limbs. I had never lost one yet but the thought of doing so scared me so much that I had to check each time that I shadow traveled.

I waited for a bit before my curiosity got the better of me and I started to look around her study. It was nice, it was all fancy. Probably because Lady Dimitrescu was naturally fancy. She also had a bunch of portraits that lined the walls, portraits of people that I did not know.

One portrait of a person I did know. It was Lady Dimitrescu, quite obviously before she was mutated. The plague on the portrait had been worn down over time so that the date was gone but the name part stayed. It simply said 'A. Dimitrescu'. 

"You enjoy the portraits?" Lady Dimitrescu asked, making me spin around to face her. I nodded my head, not trusting my voice to actually respond to her. "Have you ever had your portrait painted?" she asked.

"No ma'am," I responded, finally finding my voice. My voice was much softer than it usually was but I couldn't find the nerve to speak normally at the moment. I just wanted to get the talk over with as quickly as I could so I didn't have to stay in the room with her a moment longer.

"We should see getting you a portrait painted in the future then," Lady Dimitrescu said as she went to her desk. She sat down at her desk, picking up her cigarette holder and lighting the cigarette at the end of it with the flame of one of the candles on her desk. "I am not ignorant to your activities in this house Evie. I had hoped that it was my imagination," she said as she sat down.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I said simply, glad that I hadn't sat down. The more distance between us the better.

"I was once in your position Evie but hurting yourself will not help how you feel," Lady Dimitrescu said as she took a long drag of her cigarette. Her words sparked a fire in my mind yet also made fear run down my spine. If hurting myself didn't help me, what would? Was I doomed to always feel this way?

"I don't believe what I do or do not do to myself is any of your business," I said simply, trying to keep my voice from wavering. I could tell that I failed miserably based on how she was looking at me.

"It is when I care for you greatly Evie. I would do the same thing if I found out one of my daughter's was harming themselves," Lady Dimitrescu stated. "I am asking you to remove any sharp objects from your room and to come talk to me if you get the urge to harm yourself," she said simply.

"If I don't do as you ask? Will you punish me?" I asked simply, unable to keep the edge out of my voice.

"No darling, I will not punish you for not doing as I ask. I will intervene if it happens again and I will do my best to keep you from harming yourself again," Lady Dimitrescu said. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to hate me, find me disgusting. That's what most people did when they found out that I harmed myself. Why was she being so nice? I hated it, I hated not being able to prepare myself for her reaction.

I left the room without another word, slipping into the shadows and not stopping until I couldn't hold my shadow form anymore. The cold wind bit at my skin and I heard hoof steps behind me. I turned to look at Horse who nuzzled me. I broke down, sobbing in her coat as I held onto her tightly.