My Name Is Evie

Tired

*Evie's P.O.V*

Lady Dimitrescu's words seemed to stick in my mind for the rest of the week. I impulsively threw out the dull knife that I was keeping in my room. The only reason I did that was because my mind had gone to a really dark place. That is what normally what happens when you are several days into not sleeping.

I was also at the point that I was hearing voices whenever I laid in silence. My mind couldn't handle the silence so it made up things to fill the void. That's why I spent most of my time not in bed and rather just moving around.

I learned that I could not cartwheel, despite the fact that I firmly believed I could. I only ended up making the blood rush into my head so I felt dizzy. I ended up running into a wall once or twice before I sat on the floor. That may or may not have happened a few times over a period of days because of the fact I was going slowly insane.

Perhaps that was why I randomly went to the library in the middle of the night. I couldn't help it,  I had nothing else to do so I was finally doing my least favorite activity. Reading.

Daniela hadn't understood why I hated reading so much when she first found out that I hated it. She had said that it was fun and the stories were enjoyable. Which they were. The issue was that I had to concentrate on the book which meant I had to stay still since I couldn't absorb information and walk around. That meant staying still and I hated doing that.

My fingers ran across the spines of the books as I walked around, a small frown on my lips as I tried to find a book to read. Some of the books were in Romanian which I could read just fine. I had learned Romanian in my teenage years, I just couldn't speak it for some odd reason. My hands danced across the spines as I tried to find the perfect book to read.

I finally settled on an old book, one that didn't look like it had been touched in ages. I wiped the dust off of it and carried it back to the couch. I sat down on it, resting the book on my lap as I opened it up. The sound of the fire burning was the only sound, the wood occasionally making a popping noise.

It was a romance book, one that was written in Old English. I managed to get through the first few chapters before my head hurt too much to continue. Old English was the most confusing thing I had ever read in my life and I had read a lot of confusing things. Like everything I've ever written after I got drunk.

All I knew about the book was that it was about lesbians who were angsty. Which honestly sounded like every book about lesbians that I had ever read. I sat the book down, trying to think over everything I had just read. It was just really confusing.

"Did you enjoy the book?" Lady Dimitrescu's voice made me flinch. I had been trying to avoid her since her words had put me in an inner turmoil the last time we had talked.

"No, it's very confusing," I said simply. "It would be easier to understand if it wasn't written in Old English," I stated as I looked down at the book, not daring to look behind me to see her reaction.

"There are other books here that are not in Old English," Lady Dimitrescu said, sounding amused. Her tone made me flush slightly, my cheeks and neck feeling hot with embarrassment.

"Well this was the only book that interested me," I muttered simply with a small frown on my lips. I glanced behind me and shivered when I realized how closely she was standing behind me. My shoulders shivered slightly as I quickly glanced away.

"Why did it interest you?" Lady Dimitrescu asked, her hand suddenly on my shoulder. I took a deep breath that seemed to last forever before I breathed out slowly.

"Lesbians," I said, my cheeks flushing as the words escaped me. My face burned even more and I just knew that my cheeks were probably a dark red color now. "I saw that it was about lesbians," I managed to add on, glad I was actually able to get a full sentence out.

"Is that right?" Lady Dimitrescu asked. I nodded my head, my mouth feeling dry. "How....interesting," she said, leaving it at that which I was thankful for. "What are you doing up so late dear?" she asked.

"It's not late," I said with confusion as I turned to look at the grandfather clock, pausing when I saw that it was four in the morning. "Oh," I trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say.

"You haven't been sleeping much have you?" Lady Dimitrescu asked, her other hand reaching around me to grab my chin. She gently tilted my head back so I was looking up at her. She was upside down though because my back was to her.

"I haven't slept at all in the past few days," I admitted. Her golden eyes were glinting in the firelight and I held my breath as her thumb gently stroked my jaw bone. I gulped softly, the corner of her lips turning up slightly in a smile.

"I've noticed," Lady Dimitrescu said softly, her voice quite soothing. My eyes fluttered closed as her thumb slid up my jaw to stroke my cheek. A small noise escaped me when her other hand slipped underneath me and she lifted me up. My eyes opened as I was moved.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a small frown on my lips. Lady Dimitrescu was carrying me bridal style but I couldn't bring myself to push away from her. I was just so tired and her heartbeat was so comforting to listen to.

"Taking you to bed dear," Lady Dimitrescu asked. My eyes fluttered closed again as I nodded my head slightly. That made sense was all I thought as I drifted off to sleep.