Unrequited love

Nine | Katie

This is a bad idea.
This is a bad idea.
This is a bad idea.

Moving my hair out of my face he slowly lowers me onto the bed. Keeping his lips on mine he trails his tongue down my neck. Katie. Stop-it. You're nothing but entertainment for him. 'Hey.' I place my hand on his neck. Trying to push him he doesn't show signs that he's planning on stopping. Shoving his face back I kick my leg over him flipping us over, with me landing on his lap.

'...okay whatever you prefer?' he sits up holding me down by my hips. Hitting them off me I climb off his lap so I'm standing on my own feet.

'I would really appreciate it if you respected me enough to leave.' I occasionally break eye contact with him because oh my god. This man is a fucking asshole but if he keeps looking at me like that, I'm going to stumble over my words. 'I'm done.'

'This little thing isn't done.' He pokes the skin above my heart. 'You kissed me back, remember?'

'Yeah I know.' I flick his hand away. 'That's why you need to get out of my bedroom. I don't know why you're being an asshole all of a sudden but you should go. I'll talk to you later. When it's more appropriate.'

'Hah. Yeah sure. Later.' Shoving past me I keep my eyes on the stop he was sitting. He's not taking me seriously. No one does. 'Whatever. I'm gone, don't throw me another message.'

'Wait.' I blurt out before he can climb out. Satisfied with my 'change of heart' he brings his attention back to me.

'Wait?' He crosses his arms.

Standing still I don't know what to do. I don't see him in a negative light, even though I feel like I should. It's just that I think he makes bad decisions. I wouldn't have gone this far with the guy if he was entirely horrible. Everyone's capable of being a decent person, he just can't be bothered to act that out on me. If he leaves now he'll ghost me like I was nothing.

Why is it every time I try to explain how I feel to people I'm brushed off like I'm some sort of bother.

'God what is wrong with you.' I try not to give away how I feel with physical expressions. If I show even an ounce of misery, I worry he'll denounce me to just an annoying little kid. 'Don't you get bored of being such a dick.'

Not giving me a proper response I grab my own hand so he switches his attention to them. He waves his hand in the air they find their way back to me. Pulling me to the bed he sits me down. Expecting him to do something else, he doesn't. 'I'm sorry. I am being an asshole. I know.'

Raising my eyebrows I watch as he intertwines his hand with mine. 'You want honesty? I've never spent as much time on a girl than I have with you. I don't spend much time on girls as a whole. I like to do my own thing. So I obviously worried about how much attention I was giving you. When I saw Colton I pulled back. Only then did I realize how much time I was spending on you because my days started feeling longer and so uneventful.'

You've got to be kidding me. Narrowing my eyes I turn my head to the side but my eyes stay on him. On him and my hand at least. I haven't taken it from him since he held it, I wonder how long he'll hold it before he lets go.

Clenching my jaw I'm not sure if he's truly being honesty with me or not. I feel like the person who just admitted that is not the same person who also said they only spoke to me so they could see under my shorts. Right now I'm talking to the one I fell for but is that even him or was the one who wanted to fuck me, the real him.

Not sure what to think I writhe my hand away from his. 'I'm just worried.' He clenches his jaw. Is this real? Please be real- actually don't be. Say this is actually him. Say he's actually a really sweet guy. Will he always switch on me everytime something inconveniences us? Because I don't know if I can handle having to hear so much negativity from someone I like. Not long term at least.

'I'm sorry.' He apologizes again but this time he moves closer. Pressing our lips together he lowers me back onto the bed. Cupping my face he runs his hand through my hair again. 'I'm just stressed. That's all.'

'Channel your stress in ways that don't hurt others please.' I crease my eyebrows, still on edge about his sudden switch I search his eyes for more answers, as if I'll win some sort of price for figuring him out. Slumping into my shoulder I frown since I can't exactly see his face this way.

'Good idea.' He mumbles. Sliding his hand under my shirt he laughs under his breath. 'I was right. No pants.'

'Noah.' I jerk my leg down when he tries to pull my underwear off. Lifting it back up like it's nothing I squeeze my hands between us so I can make an attempt to move him. 'Noah stop.'

'Please? I'm sorry.' He kisses my cheek.

'No.' I try to tug my underwear back on.

'Come on Katie,' he pleads. 'I love you.'

Frozen, he begins to unbutton my shirt but I can't help but replay those three words in my head over and over. Pulling my shirt together when he undoes the top button I sit up. 'Wait what do you—'

'Shh.' He cuts me off before turning to the door. Staying quiet for a few seconds, neither of us hear anything. Paranoia. Facing me as if he's going to speak he flinches when the sound of feet walking down the hallway becomes too loud to ignore.

'Katie?' Damon yells. 'You home?'

Scrambling off the bed I grab Noah by the arm, directing him to go under the bed. 'Yes? Yes! I am.'

Buttoning my shirt all the way up, my door swings open. 'Is Noah here?'

Frightened by his question he misinterprets my reaction for confusion. 'No I just saw his car parked two houses down and I got confused. It looked like his number plate.'

'You memorized his number plate?' I slowly sit back onto my bed to avoid him asking why I'm just standing in the middle of the room. When he shakes his head to answer my question I shrug. 'It was probably a neighbors car then. by the way I thought you were with Jacob.'

'He canceled.' Stepping in the room as if he's going go come in, I clear my throat.

'That's sad. Well I want to finish my assignment so.' I slide my laptop closer to me. Thanking god when he steps back out he nods before exiting the room.

Holding my breath I don't move until I hear his bedroom door close. Scurrying off the bed I stick my head out the door to make sure he's actually gone before dropping to my knees. Watching as Noah climbs out from under the bed he dusts off his shirt.

'Close.' He acts as if it was nothing. 'You're an exceptional liar.'

'I didn't lie about anything. I do have an assignment to do.' I shut my bedroom door before heading to my window. Prying it open I point to the darkness that awaits for him outside. 'That's where you should go now.'

Getting my hopes up when he begins to walk towards it, it occurs to me that he's coming for me instead. 'Noah. No.' I need six pairs of hands to count how many times I've had to say this tonight. It's an issue.

Dropping his hands to my waist I grab his wrists since there's no point trying to push him. I can't fight back. 'I said no.' Finally taking me seriously he keeps his hands to himself.

'Okay.' I light up. 'I'll go. Talk to you tomorrow.'

Biting my cheek I watch as he leaves. Shutting and locking the widow so he doesn't change his mind I gleefully spin around my room. I'll talk to you tomorrow. That's good! That's great actually. It a step right? I'm not going to be ignored. Maybe for once someone besides my friends will see me on equal footing.