Love.
As 'beautiful' as love can be it hurts and bleeds. If you're unlucky you may even love the very person you know you can't have.
The best friend,
The distant boyfriend,
The sisters friend,
The brothers friend,
The ex best friend,
Love isn't alw...
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Standing at my doorframe with water dripping down my leg I stare at him.
'Glad to see you're not ignoring me anymore.'
'Sorry,' he apologizes but I don't allow him any form of comfort by presenting my expressions. He can remain clueless because this is getting exhausting. I'm tired of chasing after men I want to keep close to me but I simultaneously understand. I rejected him so he most likely wanted space.
I just wish he had communicated with me and just said that.
I thought he was dead after my messages started turning green and stopped delivering. Now I understand that he had just blocked me. Funny.
'Well it's nice to see that you're alive but you can leave now. I want to change since I just got out the shower and I planned on watching a movie on my laptop.' I walk past him and to my dresser instead. He keeps his eyes on the ground.
'Lilah I'm sorry. Really.' He looks over to me but I ignore him so I don't get upset. I understand that he's upset because I know how much it hurts to like someone who doesn't reciprocate. 'I expected that you wouldn't like me back but in all honesty it really hurt. It started to sink in when I got home so I...'
'Ghosted me,' I hum. 'I was there for that part. I didn't miss the season- Look I think it's better if you go home and we can talk later when I'm not naked. I understand that you're upset but if you don't want to be friends anymore just say so. I don't want to be ghosted and dragged around all over again.'
Feeling his hand on mine I quickly move it away before turning around. Seeing him standing right in front of me I immediately look away. Following my eyes I don't want to look him in the face when he's this close. It's uncomfortable but he continues to chase after my attention.
'Can you look at me please.' He presses his hand against my chin before tilting my head up so I make eye contact with me. Feeling my face grow red, he's way to close. 'So I'm not crazy.'
Not knowing what he's talking about he steps away from me. Finally giving me space. I don't spend another second looking at him since I refocus on grabbing clothes to get changed. Once I do I rush him out of the room so I can actually put them on.
What was the point of that. I don't understand what point he was trying to make but it didn't achieve anything. I'm just a little frustrated that he showed up now of all times, I'd finally came to peace with the fact that he was most likely gone. Not sure for how long but I knew it would be for a bit so this sucks.
He blocks me on everything and makes sure to never hangout or allow me over and he shows up now? I'd assumed he didn't want to be friends anymore and I understood that. Now he's back and he's saying he's confused? This is exactly what I wanted to avoid, I didn't want another Colton situation.
I know this so the right decision and I'm just saving the both of us. I'm scared that he'll stop loving me and it'll be like my last relationship all over again. If I go through another situation like that it would kill me and I don't know if that's figurative or not.
