Love.
As 'beautiful' as love can be it hurts and bleeds. If you're unlucky you may even love the very person you know you can't have.
The best friend,
The distant boyfriend,
The sisters friend,
The brothers friend,
The ex best friend,
Love isn't alw...
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Sitting on the edge of his bed I look around the room. It's so familiar to me now and that something I would've laughed at if you told me it would happen a few weeks early. If you came to me earlier and said that I would be in Colton's room every weekend I would've literally laughed and I can't stop thinking about that.
Sighing I stand up as I rub my upper arm. He's not home yet since he's at training but he told me to let myself in. He also said he'd be back at twelve but it's twelve thirty so I've been trying to find things to preoccupy myself.
Which is code for 'Ive been on my phone for an hour since I got here.'
Trickling my hands against his shelves it's used mainly for trophies then actual books. They're a couple books though. I don't really take Colton for a reader.
Taking out the books I'm not surprised to realize they're autobiographies written about famous ball players. I only know two of them so I begin to put them back when I realize there's another book I missed. This one is different from the other ones.
It has a black cover but the spine has a lacing that spirals it before ending at the top to be used as a bookmark. It's obvious that it was given as a gift from a girl. Unless he just likes pink bookmarks. Who am I to judge what a guy can or can't like?
Taking it out I flick through it to realize it's a diary. Immediately closing it I begin to put it back on the shelve before pausing. I really want to read it but we aren't close like that.
Staring the book I think of all the times that Colton has invaded my own privacy. Remembering the one time in middle school when he teasingly read my diary out loud, I shiver. I had, had a wet dream of my crush and I remember writing down every detail down and he read it out loud to Damon. I was five foot and he was five foot seven at the time so I couldn't reach the diary when he held it up. It was so embarrassing and I refused to look at him the whole week after that.
Pulling out his desk chair so I can get comfortable any form of remorse diminishes. Hesitantly I open the page to see that the date goes all the way back to primary school. Shocked I flick through to the end to see the last entry was from only Friday. He only writes one page per entry which is smart. It saves paper, even though this is a thick diary, he's got a lot to spare. Not that he seems to use it frequently, it doesn't have an abundance of used pages.
About to go back to the beginning I read my name so I stop. Flipping back to the page to where I had spotted my name. It was the passage that was written on Friday.
'I feel shitty that I lied to him. I said that I was going to convince Katie to take him back since I quote 'she won't listen if you do it.' I knew I wasn't going to do that for him because he needs to stop. I had to suppress when I was younger so seeing them kind of pisses me off. Except I can't tell if I'm mad at myself or at him. I could have easily done the same thing but that would make me a shitty friend. I like to believe I'm above that.'
