Unrequited love

Fifty-eight | Lilah

Sitting with my legs up we're just staring at each other now.

'Was it always this awkward?' Colton mimics my seated positions by pulling his own legs up. Except he crosses his arms, across his knees.

'Sorry about freaking out over Jasmine.' I cut straight to the point since I never apologized over it.

It must've been tough for him after I got suspended since he most likely had a lot of attention on him. He told me how much he didn't like when the spotlight facing him.

'No I understand.' He leans his head against the wall behind him. I'm sitting across from him, on my bedroom floor, my back is rested against the right side of my bed. 'I actually wanted to apologize myself since me cutting you off felt a little rushed. I barely even explained anything.'

Noticing him glancing at my arms he doesn't mention anything since there's nothing to look at. It's hot today but I have a compression arm sleeve on my right arm. It's not to do anything besides hiding the cuts. He's the last person that I'd want to be aware of them.

I'm more surprised that I managed to get out of getting admitted. I lied my way out of that hospital bed but I know I'll never be able to go back to the hospital for some form of cut injury. If I do then I won't be able to get out again so I've been restricting myself.

'I think I was very push and pull with you.' He clarifies but I don't correct him since he was very push and pull.

I was always so confused on what was going on between us and when I asked we would suddenly become distant. 'Honestly I just feel like I should've gotten my head straight and not have dragged you on like that. You're a person too.'

'Yeah.' I agree. 'Sometimes I wish that we didn't talk at all...not because you're a bad person or anything but...'

'Yeah I get what you mean.' He nods.

No Colton. You don't get it.

'Yep.' I sigh.

I honestly wouldn't have allowed him to come over if he gave me a heads up. He just appeared at my front door and it's pretty late anyways. It's eight pm and he said he had just came back from a basketball game. He wouldn't have rocked up anytime after six if he was free. I don't think he would've rocked up at all given how we stopped talking.

He also told me how it was the end of year games and how he was surprised that I didn't go to watch.

I doubt he meant it negatively when he made that statement but it upset me a little bit. He cut me off even though he knew I liked him, but he still expected me to be there to cheer on his every move. Then proceeded to be surprised when I wasn't.

'I'm going to duke on a basketball scholarship.' He suddenly tells me. 'So these games mean nothing to me since I got the offer a while ago but my team cares so it's the only reason I'm trying,'