Love.
As 'beautiful' as love can be it hurts and bleeds. If you're unlucky you may even love the very person you know you can't have.
The best friend,
The distant boyfriend,
The sisters friend,
The brothers friend,
The ex best friend,
Love isn't alw...
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Why did I do that.
No because honestly why did I do that.
Everything is so murky but the more that I think about it the dumber it seems. We where so wasted but why was I so eager to do it. The more I think about it the more apparent it is that I came onto him first. Even drunk he had more self control than me and he's the one who used to like me.
'What is wrong with me.' I pull the hood up on my hoodie before stepping into the pharmacy.
I saw the message that Colton sent me, saying that we didn't use protection. I don't remember if we did or not but I trust his judgement. He would know if one of his condom wrappers where missing.
Walking down one of the isles, all that I'm focusing on is the smell of medicine in here. It smells like all the drugs that are considered okay in todays society.
Stopping when I find the woman's hygiene isle, I run my fingers across the shelf before reaching up. Standing on the tips of my toes I grab one of the plan B boxes before lifting my other hand up to the pregnancy tests. I don't think I'm pregnant nor do I believe that I will be but I'd rather not just trust my gut on this one.
Turning to leave the isle I buy my things at the self checkout. The woman at the cashier looks older and they're usually the most judgemental about younger people buying these things. I'm not feeling so great about my stupid drunk decisions so I don't want to feel shittier as she judges me.
Bagging my items in one of the smaller bags it feels like this is my karma for underage drinking. From now on I'm going to lay off the alcahol and I mean it this time. The first incident was my warning so this has to be my official punishment. That might just be me thinking too far into it but it's better safe than sorry and I'm surely sorry right now.
Exciting the store I hum to myself as I walk through the mall. Since I'm here I may as well look around for a little bit. Damon's game is tonight so I'll go and watch him just to be nice.
I haven't really spoken to Damon as much as I used to since I caught him with Brylan. A part of me wants to believe I don't care anymore but it still hurt me a bit. My anger was mainly directed to Brylan because she was actually aware of the extent that it would hurt me so I never thought about Damon. I excused him because of Noah and it felt hypocritical for me to get upset at him so I didn't. It's not like it didn't hurt me a little bit though, I just couldn't be mad at him because it felt stupid for me to be mad.
Every situation that I've been in for the past couple weeks have been an absolute mess. I want to go back to when nothing interesting happened in my life. I remember how I used to wish that I was Damon and that I could be as interesting as him so that I could finally get out of his shadow and I got what I wished for. Now I'd do anything to go back into his shadow.
I wish to be unseen again.
Glancing away from the ground I see a familiar lady staring into the window of one of the stores. Waiting for her to move her head so I can see her, I recognize her as Colton's mother. Cursing under my breath I turn around to walk the other way before she notices me, I slam into someone's chest.
