Unrequited love

Fifty-nine | Alex

Pushing Lilah on the swing a few more times, I get onto the free swing besides her.

'I talked to Colton yesterday?' She looks over at me but I'm too busy trying to figure out which way I'm supposed to kick my legs to get me going.

'He texted you?' I respond when I finally get myself moving properly.

'No he came over to my house at like eight pm.' She looks forward but I look over at her in shock.

'What did he want?' I bite the inside of my cheek. I don't know why but the idea of it frustrates me a little bit.

'He just wanted to apologize and I think we're going to try being friends for a little bit.' She hums but I just purse my lips. 'Not for any romantic reasons since I don't think I'll ever put myself through that with him again. For my own sake I just want to renew the old so that I can fully get over how much he hurt me I guess.'

'Wouldn't it be better if you just stopped talking to him completely?' I offer another option but she shakes her head.

'I don't know if that would help me,' she gets off the swing so I follow suit.

'That's true.' I lie just so that I respond in some form of way.

Watching her lay down onto the grass I lay down besides her. Cloud watching would've been nice but the sky is clear today. Maybe we'll come another time instead.

'They're having sport games this week. They're pretty much back to back so it's soccer, basketball, rugby, all of it. It's supposed to go on for the next couple weeks but the basketball and soccer ones are this week.' She explains to me. 'It's for universities to have one more chance at scouting new recruits in case they find someone they would've missed otherwise.'

'Really?' I turn to look at her. 'I didn't know.'

'Yeah it's yearly and I'm supposed to be there since I'm a cheerleader but I pretty much quit.' She mumbles under her breath but it's loud enough for me to hear it. 'I don't think I want to cheer anymore and even if I did I wouldn't because of my cuts,'

'You can still do it with your cuts.' I don't allow her to say anything negative about herself.

'You're right but my 'friends' are too judgmental for that...I just got out of the main focus of everyone eye and I don't really want to go back.' She looks over at me. 'My life is so fake if you haven't noticed. It's like I'm Barbie...I'm only fun when I'm played with.'

'I don't like when you say stuff like that about yourself.' I straighten my legs. 'We're hanging out right now and I haven't done anything have I,'

'You did kiss me before.' She laughs stiffly. There's not a hint of amusement in her tone.

'And I don't know why I did that.' I look up at the sky awkwardly. I don't really know what I was thinking when I made that decision. 'I'm sorry.'

'I've been hearing that a lot recently,' she stretches her arms out in the air, 'and they're still some people who I'm yet to hear it from,'

'Don't let them preoccupy your mind Lilah.' I remind her but she just nods.

Her energy has been really down today and it's been stressing me out. I'm worried for her especially now that I know how deep her emotions root.

'Do you want to come over tonight?' I offer the idea. 'You can sleep over at mine and we can hangout for a little bit.'

'I can't.' She seems a little disappointed by her own response. 'My mom wants me to be home every night so she can check me, so maybe when she cools down in a couple months with this checking thing then I can stay over. Our deal was I can stay home instead of getting 'help' as long as I stop.'

Knowing what she means by checking I look straight up again. I just want to spend time with her. We lost so much of it and I regret it so much because she's amazing. Hanging out with her is fucking amazing. I realize why we where so close when we where younger now. A part of me assumed she changed but I guess she really didn't.

'I actually should go back now,' she sits up with a smile on her face. Usually she looks upset but I like that she's usually smiling when she's around me. 'I'm tired and we've been here since ten am.'

Looking up at the sky again she has a point. We came here in the morning so we could get some air. Since there was a food truck we ended up staying for longer since we ate. It was fun though so I'd definitely do it again with her but it's maybe around four pm right now, if I had to guess. I haven't really looked at my phone at all today.

'Sure I'll take you home,'

***

Walking into the auditorium I shove my hands into my pocket as I scan the erea. I'm a little early so they aren't alot of people. Making eye contact with a few of the cheer girls practicing I look directly at Jasmine. Looking away from her I notice Katie waving at me. Walking towards her she hugs me before I can say anything.

'We seriously thought you died.' Brylan seems genuinely shocked to see me.

I was planning on staying home but I kept thinking of Bry and Katie. Even though it hasn't been alot of time, I missed them and I knew they'd be here because Katie would be watching Damon so she's force Brylan to come.

'Oh my god Alex, you've missed so much it's not even funny.' Katie sneers as I sit down.

'Colton is madly in love with Katie.' Brylan says with a straight face which startles me. 'She slept over at his house yesterday.'

'He doesnt like me anymore. We never got my car from a party that I snuck out to so he forcibly took me to get it last night.' She looks over at him. 'Ended up just hanging out with him that night and it was platonic.'

'Oh wow that sounds a little...' I nod without a care.

'Exactly!' Brylan sits up. 'It's not just me who things that's so iffy! You had to have done something. He obviously still likes you and you where alone for a suspicious amount of time,'

'I could use that logic with you and Damon.' She raises her eyebrows and Brylan but I just tilt my head.

'What do you mean?' I ask and they both just look at me.

'There is so much I need to tell you.' Brylan leans into her seat before tapping the empty one besides her. Sitting down she pokes me in the side. 'You and Katie can sleep over at mine and I can tell you then,'

'Oh I can't.' Katie looks back at Brylan. 'I'm hanging out with Colton.'

This time me and Brylan look at each other before refocusing on the basketball players practicing in front of us so that neither of us have to respond to that statement.

'Platonically.' Katie sigh is filled with annoyance.

'We didn't say anything.' Brylan smiles but I don't look over at them.

It's only now hit me that Katie and Brylan just spoke about the possibility of Katie being with someone else and I don't feel jealous once.

I don't think I even minded at all.