Crash - Johnyong

Not A Real Update Again, Sorry

Ok so a few things I wanna talk about:
1. New Rules and Demands and Asks
2. My Mental State
3. Other Shit Cause Yeah
———————————————————————
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
I am talking about my mental state which I have described as "worse than horrible". I'm gonna try and keep it as non-triggering as possible though.
Sorry if that turns out bad.
———————————————————————

1. New Rules and Demands and Asks

Ok so. I shouldn't have to be writing these but here we go.

- most important rule: No randomly confessing your love to me. And especially not in the comment section.

You're probably wondering "Cerise, why are you telling us this?" It's cause it ACTUALLY happened before. Since then I have blocked the account(s) (or muted them so they wouldn't be my problem anymore) , but it's still a concern.

I know I say I love you guys but like...not romantically. More platonically. I am very appreciative that even though I'm barely writing anymore, you guys are still here for me. I even see my old readers still being here. I'm so glad you guys stayed. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Back to the point. Not to make this a coming out post or whatever but I'm demiromantic. To those who don't know what that is, it means I need an emotional connection before I have romantic feelings.

Newsflash: I don't know you people.

Most of you beloved readers are not in my close circle, and are also not my "Wattpad friends". You (like the person who confessed) are people I don't know at all. Literally the person who confessed I had just met that day.

That put me in a very hard position. Especially cause it was in the comments section of THIS book (see chapter -1). I couldn't just flat out say "no sorry", I had to phrase it in such a way.

Newsflash #2: I have a reputation to uphold.

This is my most popular book as of right now. New people come in at least once every two and a half weeks. I can't be having new readers be judging my work based on ME and how I interact with my readers. Not in that scenario at least.

Hopefully at least one of you understands.

- I am always open to vent. Just not here.

As you guys know, I haven't been doing well. If you guys are fans of my writing and read my other books, you'd recall that time I took everything down and slowly republished things. Most of my books are still not even back up.

I am still open to vent, however. Anytime. While it isn't my main, you can always reach me at my Instagram account: @ onereasonimtired . Separated it's "one reason im tired". And check out my crappy art there too please. If you want. If you don't have Instagram, there are private DMs here. However, I won't be able to respond immediately. For some reason I don't get DM texts here as fast as I should. Example: MinniesWayV DMd me in November and I didn't even get it til recently. And while it wasn't some big vent thing, it was still pretty bummery that I didn't get it soon enough.

Even if I don't respond, venting can always make you feel better. Spam me all you want, I don't care. Just not in my comments section.

————————————————————————

2. My Mental State.

Horrible. Very bad. When put on a scale from 0-10 (ten being amazing outstanding wonderful), it's going on negative.

Recently it's been bad enough to where I have to go to mental health camp. It replaces school for a few weeks. Today (February 28th) was my first day. I had a lot of fun. I'm in good hands, guys.

I need to be a better person mentally. It's affecting other peoples' lives now and I've been harming almost everyone I personally know (or at least it feels like that). Plus it's really taken a toll on me.

I have 0 motivation. For anything. I never feel like doing anything. I used to love writing, but now I barely write. Some of y'all remember the good ol days of me writing 3-5 chapters a day. I can't even imagine myself doing that now.

It's a mix of a bad mental state and time. A lot of time has passed since I started this book. We're slowly going on 2 years (as of April 10th it will be two years). I was 12 when I started writing this book, 11 when I started my Wattpad career.

I'm 14 now. (Another reason to not be randomly confessing to me: You might go to jail. Pedos.)

I'm nowhere near as mentally healthy as I was then. I probably won't be for a while.

Guys, I'm trying to get better. That's what I want. Nearly everyday is a living hell for me. I fucking hate that. I want change and so now I'm changing things.

I'm doing it for everyone else. For you. For my family. For my friends. For my best friends. For my favorite person.

You're probably thinking to yourself "No, don't do this for us. Do it for yourself." Nothing will get done if I did things on my behalf.

I really do feel like I could get better. Even if it's just that little bit better. It's a start.

Somewhere is always better than nowhere.
——————————————————————

3. Other Shit Cause Yeah.

Y'all want some special fandom name? Like for readers of this book or my fans in general.

This space is for readers of Crush.

This space is for fans of all my books.
(P.S. if it helps I go by Olivine, Cerise, and Cosmo.)

Type any ideas and/or suggestions in the comments :D.

———————————————————————
Sorry about this not being an update. Hopefully a new chapter comes out soon. I just need an idea of what else I can write.

Don't be scared if it turns into a time jump.

Love you always,
X