34. people pleaser

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Lies i tell myself

To protect someone else's feelings

And hurt my own

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I lied to myself that day

Telling it was okay

To find happiness watching someone else

Even if it meant to risk my day

I lied to myself that day

I wasn't a push over

I just wanted people around me to feel heard and safe

So safe, that i lost the hold of my mind in the way

I lied to myself that day

I was bound to help everyone

And saying no would make me feel horrible till i stayed

I lied to myself that day

My thoughts were not mine anymore

I didn't want anyone to be disappointed in me

I lied to myself that day

Why would I need boundries

When I'm the only place where my loved ones are comfy

I lied to myself that day

I can't stand up for myself

What if i hurt someone's feelings

That will make my heart quiver

I lied to myself that day

I was never it seemed

Until i was sure that the society was satisfied with me 

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