Lies i tell myself
To protect someone else's feelings
And hurt my own
---
I lied to myself that day
Telling it was okay
To find happiness watching someone else
Even if it meant to risk my day
I lied to myself that day
I wasn't a push over
I just wanted people around me to feel heard and safe
So safe, that i lost the hold of my mind in the way
I lied to myself that day
I was bound to help everyone
And saying no would make me feel horrible till i stayed
I lied to myself that day
My thoughts were not mine anymore
I didn't want anyone to be disappointed in me
I lied to myself that day
Why would I need boundries
When I'm the only place where my loved ones are comfy
I lied to myself that day
I can't stand up for myself
What if i hurt someone's feelings
That will make my heart quiver
I lied to myself that day
I was never it seemed
Until i was sure that the society was satisfied with me